... that I have tried for so long to keep healthy by excercising and eating right, I feel compelled to write this post of explanation.
When I started struggling with more frequent exacerbations from my MS last year, I tried to continue working. Since I lost my house and moved a bit more then an hour from the strip, I started requesting deposits so I would not waste trips into the strip for nothing. If you knew how many times I was nc/ns in the past few years, you would not believe me. I thought this course of action was wise, but has come back to bite me, and unfortunately a few of you as well.
With no health insurance, and no hope of getting it now, this has caused me to file bankruptcy, lose my house to foreclosure, and to request help anywhere/everywhere possible. Hundreds of thousands of dollars later, has left me worse off physically then I was before I seeked treatment, and broke. Not looking for pity. Just stating my current situation.
I had about 30 dates in the past several months that I did receive deposits for. In all but 8 of those cases I was able to make the dates, and all went well. In the past few months I have gone really downhill with my MS, and have been unable to work very little, and have been trying some experimental treatments. Currently I have lost the use of my left leg and my arm is going downhill quickly. Blurry vision is a big concern naturally for driving especially. I am told it can come back, or it will get worse. That is the biggest frustration with MS. No one knows much more about it, then they did 20 years ago.
I had a choice to spend what little money I had left on treatments that have just not worked out. This is where tough decisions had to me made.
YES - I spent that deposit money for the eight people that I was not able to meet for treatments for my MS.
NO - I should not have done this.
Desperation breeds inspiration. In my mind I had no choice to try to help this disease that is ravaging my body to make it better. I CHOSE to use that deposit money to seek help for myself. I WILL live with that decision, and I do relalize that it was NOT right.
Hindsight is always great. Taking deposits was working well. I was seeing clients, and all was great. I thought I could continue to work things out and keep myself above water. Sometimes life throws us a curveball, and we deal with things the best way we can.
At this point, I cannot say when, but I WLL make good on those deposits that I owe. They are about $3,200 in total. I am a strong believer in Karma, and what goes around comes around. Again I don't know when this will happen, but it WILL happen.
Most of those whom I owe have been extremely patient with me, and 1 or 2 have not been. Do I blame them? Absolutely not. I have been as nice as I can be in returning emails, but 1 in particular has been VERY nasty to me in several threatening manners. To this person all I can do is ask for your patience. I don't know when or even if, things will turn around for me.
I have worked SO VERY HARD all through the years on my impeccable reputation since starting my porn site in 1998. Having it tarnished now because of this situation has me more upset then you will ever know. But yes ... I do know I am to blame for this.
Love one another, and treat one another with kindness. One never knows what the next day will bring.
~ Lorsha
-- Modified on 8/31/2012 11:03:06 AM
Your full conviction was to go to on those dates but you couldn't because of your condition. You will find a way to pay those guys back.
I will look for a link after, but I wanted to offer some immediate support. Montel Williams (who also has MS) is involved with an organization that gives out free prescription meds to people that need them. The common med for MS is EXTREMELY expensive, on the order of $40K/year.
Also, you might want to check with organizations like Sophie's Choice. It is primarily for homeless women, but they have all kinds of outreach for free medical treaments. I don't know if that will work, but maybe with a try. I have a relative that is extremely manic bi polar and she stayed at Sophie's Choice and got $15K of free dental work.
MS is particularily insidious. My little sister's boyfriend in HS had it and I remember watching her give him injections. He was 18 and this was in 2004.
I suffer from a non contagious (always got say that here 
) , incurable, auto immune disorder and have a scared left cornea so I can relate to how hards things can be. Nothing I have is like MS, mind you, but I can relate to a certain degree. Losing vision is real scary, especially since I had such incredible vision before (eagle eye, as i was known by my friends)
There is lots of compassion out there for you, regardless of your occupation. People will help, they just need to be found. I am sure you have vetted much of this already and I hope not to offend. Just trying to help.
Good luck to you!
Last week I posted the below link.
Here is a link to that organization I had referenced in the last post.
Again, I am sure you have sought out many avenues for help in the past, but just in case.
Take care, dear.
I would be happy to volunteer a free session to one of the 8 people you owe a session to...
Perhaps 7 other providers may want to help out too????
Always happy to help out a fellow provider in need. Especially one who has had such a great reputation over the years...
Sending you lots of love...
And much appreciated. I would never want to put you ladies out like that on behalf. The thought however means the world to me, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will make things right with these gents, as soon as I possibly can.
Count me in on Kiwi's idea -
Great idea, for those Gents that are interested.
Lorsha, You are in my prayers -
Char
-- Modified on 8/31/2012 8:55:23 PM
-- Modified on 8/31/2012 8:56:43 PM
Wow! Just Wow! Charlotte and Kiwi, you girls are so awesome. What an incredibly nice gesture. I am actually pretty speechless that you guys are so willing to offer your services to this woman who obviously is in desperate need of help. I hope there are other girls in your fair city that are even half as generous. Way to look out for one of your own!!
... I would be more than happy to help out as well!!! Lorsha ...I have never had the pleasure of meeting you before and I do hope and pray that your health and overall circumstances get much, much better and quickly!!! As you said ... "Love one another, and treat one another with kindness. One never knows what the next day will bring." ...
Hugs & Kisses ...
Tia!!! xoxo
Posted By: kiwigirl
I would be happy to volunteer a free session to one of the 8 people you owe a session to...
Perhaps 7 other providers may want to help out too????
Always happy to help out a fellow provider in need. Especially one who has had such a great reputation over the years...
Sending you lots of love...
I have never met you, either, but I would be willing to provide an hour of my time as well! Please let me know!
Ive never had the pleasure of meeting you, but maybe you should consider opening a account at a bank. I'd be willing to contribute as well. You are in my prayers.
I'm down...
I'd absolutely be willing to help!
xoxo
Ashley Jade
Posted By: Nikki_Irish
I have never met you, either, but I would be willing to provide an hour of my time as well! Please let me know!
Let me first say how saddened I am that you continue to be dealing with this debilitating disease. The severity of this ordeal is solemnly affirmed by the fact there is still no cure. But hope springs eternal. Let us hope there is a breakthrough soon that may hopefully improve your turmoil. God Bless!
As for the deposits made during your "special" several months ago, it was somewhat intuitive, well to me anyway, that while your intentions were honorable, there was certainly some uncertainty with respect to whether you'd ever be able to fulfill those appointments. Sure, it was somewhat controversial (Hell's bells.....CONTROVERSY in the HOBBY!! Good Grief!) You've indicated you'll "make good".......I admire that. But given the extreme financial crisis you are in, it shouldn't be a priority by any stretch. Those that contributed and are seeking some restitution should look at the BIG PICTURE! Shame on those hassling you. Move on. Consider it an investment. Not all investments work out as hoped, right?
I am praying that you will be healed, and in the meantime that you are given the encouragement and comfort you need.
Well said!
Lorna, just get better.
from the bottom of my heart. I do however want to make sure that the original reason for this post stays intact, which was my explanation/apology for how I handled things.
I don't know you nor have I ever seen anything that might be out there with you in it. Personally, I think the $3200 is of little bearing on the big picture of you getting as much health as you can. I'll always fail to the root cause issue and know that the other stuff will sort itself out.
Please don't worry about little issues like one heartless guy feeling slighted. Your health is the paramount issue here. If you start feeling comfortable and whole again, you will feel your entire life open up! I have been there, but I remiss in and out every week and sometimes several times a day. It's hard to see doctor after doctor and have procedure after procedure but don't give up.
If you need some help, please don't hesitate to contact me. PM me.
J
I considered it a gamble (it was a great special), but it's an investment in Karma.
It would be nice to get something back, but not at the expense of causing you more stress after loosing your house, going through bankruptcy and getting put on a list with guys that are harassing you. AND still having to deal with the disease.
In two weeks many of us will be at the M&G, I'd be willing to contribute some funds if we had a raffle just to get the harassers off her back.
It's an idea.
-- Modified on 9/1/2012 3:08:08 PM
Get well soon Lorsha,
I wish you recover from this
how many people are wishing you well and trying to help - hobbyists and providers - it is special to see this.
I hope you still respond to PM, i will send one in near future - I cannot offer much; but i can try.
... this outpouring of caring is simply overwhelming to me. There are so many special and kind people here. Our "occupation" is all too often scrutinzed so unfairly negative. I have always considered myself in the people business, and I have always loved it so much! It is all about being kind to one another. After all, who would not choose pleasure over pain and negativity.
XoXoX
~ Lorsha
Lorsha bookie you have my prayers!
We don't know each other but I still want to pray that you get well.
Bless you for being such a strong and brave person.
xoxoMickey Dollxoxo
You know, there is a website that allows people to easily set up a donation site. Lorsha's situation would lend itself to this approach. The site is called "chipin". I'm not providing a link to it because (I heard?) it is against the rules to put a link in the message.
Here's a very brief description of how it works.
Create
Tell us what you're collecting money for, how much you want to raise, and when you need it by.
Promote
Embed the ChipIn Widget on your favorite Web site or create your own ChipIn page at yourname.chipin.com.
Collect
Let your social network contribute via ChipIn's secure service and collect your funds via PayPal.
Someone would need to set up the original Chipin request, including a paypal account. Then anyone who was interested could simply include the Chipin widget on their site. Anyone who wished to contribute could just do it through the widget.
I've seen this used successfully before, in particular, for Jessica Ahlquist, when she was being trashed unmercifully by christian fundies.
I can't set this up myself, but perhaps someone else could do it?
It may not be a lot, but hopefully it will help.
Lina
I have put up a webpage with Paypal to accept donations. So many of you have requested that I put up some sort of donation page. (Link can be found on my website below). I still however do not want my original post to be overlooked and what it stands for, which was my explanation of an error in judgement on my part. I truly believed that it would never get to this point where it appears that I may never be able to work in this industry again.
Your kind thoughts, well wishes, and offers for assistance have been truly overwhelming, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am going to put all my heart and soul into fighting this disease, and maybe by some miracle we may meet again. We never know what life has in store for us. Keep in mind that there is always someone worse off then you and me.
Be kind to one another, and live for today. We never know what tomorrow may bring.
Much love to everyone!
XoXoX
~ Lorsha
I will be in Las Vegas Sept. 12 to 15 and would be happy to give a session to one of the gents whose deposit you had to use for treatment.
Please email me if this will help.
Juls
When you get backed up into a corner, it really changes all your perspective on everything. I have been there. Nothing remotely close to MS, but I get it to an extent. Good luck and take care!
any provider I book on my Vegas vist that donates $25 to Lorsha I'll donate $25 as well, right on my phone via pay pal.
I was denied medical insurance from regular carriers for a pre existing condition and got approved through pcip.gov. Nevada's pcip program goes through United health care.
I seen what neurological disease does to people. i lost my dad to als two years ago. I also have severe fibromyalgia myself and many times when it was causing immobilion or limbs or arms entirely i was frightened i was also getting als. I had a friend with ms too and she said if she drank coffee it made her have to be bed ridden and coffee is bad for it. I will be in vegas for one week and wont be working much and would offer you a free thai-shiatsu body work session if your able to make it. I also make my own massage oils designed to treat pain, My recent one has clary sage, jerusalem spikenard, tea tree, clove, . Its meant to be medicinal so most clients hate the smell. i hav e another blend for depression with grapefruit essential oils. I only been on plain twice i still am unsure if theyl allow me to bring my massage oils. I dont know much about ms but I do know eating alot of gelatin and broths made with knuckles where gelatin is is soothing to fibro pain. Maybe it prove helpful. to give it a try making some stews with good broth stock. I will be in vegas next week and can help by offering a free body work sessio with energy work. get well soon. do lots of yoga and get outdoors for walks as much as possible nature heals./ youl be ok. what a bummer. stay positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you l be ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
