Lots of excellent information in this long post.
Thanks for taking the time and effort to put me straight on a few things.
Posted By: CindySpice
But you do not know !!
Disclaimer - This post isn't about you xxxplaymate.
BUT since you brought up the issue and since things are not always black and white like many people think ..........Here is my rant about references.
Maybe some providers and hobbyist will learn something new today
First off let me start off by saying I AM reference friendly and I am happy to help you , even though I don't need your help.
BUT , if the provider doesn't know how to ask for a reference , you probably won't hear back from me.
what does that mean how to ask for a reference ?
well , emailing me - " Hi , John from Florida said he saw you. His TER handle is John123456789
is he ok ? Anything I should know let me know ."
Seriously ?? You are asking me to help you ? If you want my help you should make things easy as possible for me.
Your request should include your name , a link to your website and reviews.
I provide references to legit and verified ladies only.
Proper etiquette is that you include that info so at a click of a link I can find out who you are.
I shouldn't have to spend time trying to figure it out.
You expect my help , well I expect you to make it quick and simple for me.
Your reference request should include gents full name , phone number and email address.
Not just - "John from Florida "..........I know 1000 Johns in Florida and I don't keep track of Gents based on their handle names ....
I have seen Gents that I didn't even know they had a handle name , because they never even said they had one .
So if you ( The Provider ) doesn't have the common sense of how to properly ask for a reference OR you can't take the time to include such details , why should I take the time to help you ??
a reference request shouldn't be back and fourth emails pulling for details ....... I already have enough emails to answer. Thank You .
Ok, so lets hypothetically say you sent via email a proper request but you haven't heard back from the provider.
Well then send another request. Sometimes emails get lost in space or lost in spam ........ I get about 1000 spam emails a day and I don't always have time to go through my spam box
OR maybe something is going on in the providers life and she isn't even answering appointment request emails ........less alone a reference request email.
Not up to you to bitch out the provider......... You don't know what is going on with that provider and her life. Not everyone likes to share their personal problems with the public .
So don't judge !
The attitude you ladies need to have about references should be -
I emailed a provider asking for a reference and I heard back - Awesome !
I haven't heard back - oh well , I guess I need to find another way to screen this gent.
Don't be talking bad about a provider who didn't answer your email .......You don't know what is going on with her. Maybe she never even got the email .....Chalk it up , and move on !!!
Now regarding phone calls . This is my opinion but I think it is something to consider.
Unless you know the provider personally you SHOULD NOT contact the provider via phone for a reference . Why ??
Because when you call her out of the blue , she doesn't know who you are.
At that moment she can't verify who you are.
Maybe you are a jealous GF or an angry wife pretending to be a provider to find out info about their BF/Husband.
Maybe you are someone else pretending ........ how the f*ck does she know ?? because you say - Hi I am hooker1234567 ....... seriously ???
and how is the provider suppose to know gents info off the top of her head when you called her out of the blue at a very inconvenient time but she answered the phone because she was expecting another phone call from a certain person and when she realized it wasn't the call she was waiting for she hung up the phone because her Kid/family/boss was standing right next to her.........
Do you see where I am going with this ? Don't judge , you don't know what is going on on the other end.
But , that is why you shouldn't be calling a provider in the first place. You should email only.
Oh and when a gent uses a provider as a reference , please be sure to ask him WHEN he saw the provider.
Many gents make it sound like they just saw the provider in past few months , when in reality it was YEARS ago. Giving someone a reference you saw ONCE 5 years ago ....... isn't a reference.
I don't know about other ladies , but I do not keep records of clients . I don't keep files with info about them ( where they are from , how do they look like , what they do for a living )
I have no need for that ....... unless it was someone I had a problem with ..... since I never had a problem , I don't have info.
Once a year I reformat or buy a new computer so email address are saved for one year only , unless a gent requests me to keep his email .
This is to secure and be sure gents info never falls into the wrong hands
Since ladies want recent references - meaning 6 months up one year ...then what is the point
emailing a provider for a reference about a gent she saw ONCE years ago.
So ladies please find out WHEN the gent saw the provider , before you contact the provider.
How long is one expected to remember details of someone they saw ONCE years ago ? Forever ??
This brings me to the Gents - A lady says she is happy to be a reference for you ........ umm that doesn't mean FOREVER !!! You can't keep seeing other ladies but keep using the one provider you saw ONCE years ago........ Oh I see those ladies who are reading this now and are nodding their heads smiling thinking ,finally someone saying what I have been wanting to say...Yah You know

Gents want recents photos of ladies , right ? Well same goes for references , they need to be recent.
Recent ladies you have seen don't want to be your reference ? Then maybe you should look to see reference friendly providers.
Ok well that concludes the Spice Lesson of the day
Any questions ?
xoxo CindySpice