And I have NO FREAKING IDEA what to expect! I'm 26 and have never even gambled before! Any recommendations for the best areas to stay? I love, love, LOVE to eat! Any recommendations from locals?

staying mid-strip.  Tropicana Ave. to Flamingo Rd.  You've got the MGM, NY-NY, Monte Carlo, City Centre, Planet Hollywood, Bellagio, Paris and Bally's in that stretch.  Good shopping/eating at both City Centre and the Miracle Mile Shops in addition to what's available in the various Casinos.  There's also a monorail between Monte Carlo and Bellagio with stops at City Centre.  Personally, I like the Monte Carlo as it is centrally located and has reasonable rates.  Also has a Walgreens adjacent.....just in case you need to restock the condom supply or pick up a bottle of wine or Jaeger!   But everyone has their own preferences.

I'm sure you'll get additional feedback eventually.  It's Vegas, the locals don't drag their arses out of bed until Sundown!!  LOL

Looking forward to meeting you on the 19th!  

Caesar's probably has the best combination of food /shopping establishments in LV.  I have never stayed there because they tend to charge higher room rates and I find the decor kitschy.  In addition to the hotels, you should check out condos, particularly at the Westgate.

I have a friend who always wants to stay at the cheapest hotel he can under the philosophy that all he does in his room is sleep.  So some indication of your preferences in this regarding would be helpful.

On the high end:
Wynn/Encore/Venetian/Palazzo/THEhotel/Bellagio

Mid Range:
MGM/Mirage/Mandalay Bay

Low End:
Monte Carlo/TI/Bally's/Flamingo

There are obviously other hotels, but none that I have stayed at.

Assuming this is a work related trip, I would avoid Mandarin Oriental and Four Seasons.  They pay close attention to their patrons, which may be something you don't want.

Check out these websites:

For Hotels: TripAdvisor.com
For Restaurants: Yelp.com

You can not go wrong with the Wynn & I love to eat a Rio they have great buffets!