How many of you guys has falling in love with you ATF is happening now.. and it is hitting hard...
"How many guys are falling in love with YOUR ATF and fucking her this week." What's her name?
Sometimes it works out OK. I met a gal over 20 years ago, we got married about 13 years ago, still going strong. On the other hand, we live 1,500 miles apart, so i think that helps. She is totally cool with my hobbying lifestyle.
On the other hand, there were some real flame-outs which, given the circumstances, is totally understandable.
My advice: Tread lightly, give it time, don't over play your cards. Enjoy it. Remember to breathe.
Oh, and if you are married, better get some advice on stowing away assets, just in case. Forensic accountants are a bitch.
Get some distance. Unless you are prepared to take care of her financially. Or are prepared to let her keep having raw sex with other guys while you date her.
Steamy sessions will do that. At the end of the day, you're a paying customer. To prevent feelings from growing, step away and see other providers.
You fall in love and it becomes real life and all the hassles of a relationship that she doesn’t realize she’s in.
I suggest staying away from her for awhile.
Not worth it.
From a longtime monger
Enjoy it for now, you can even be in love, just remember there may be other guys in the same situation. Remember your relationship started as a business proposition and may end that way. Keep it in the back of your mind that this will likely end one day and you'll have to be OK with that. I'm not saying your heart won't break, but it makes letting go a little easier.
is that the girl has emotions too and may not be interested. A few things to keep in mind.
1) She is your 1 hour (or however long the session is) girl friend. When you walk out the door at the end you should leave your emotional behind. (fantasy inside, reality outside)
2) Many of the girls really want to keep separation between their lives and their work -- work is a means to an end that the clients are too. They don't want complications.
3) Girls that are looking for someone will let you know -- then you need to figure out what they are actually looking for, it might not be a boy friend like you're thinking.
4) Many, who want to avoid complications in their lives, will simply block you if you become too attached and start pressuring them for a different type of relationship -- or even say that is your feelings. So quite often best to enjoy what you can. And, as some mentioned, if you feel you're not able to control your emotions here well enough go see some other girls to keep things in perspective.
Just some thoughts, and I agree it's sometimes hard to keep emotions in check, but there have been a lot of horror stories over the years. So always keep in mind you're starting from a fantasy and act, so don't confuse your attraction to the magic show with something that is real (or at least one-sided).
-- Modified on 5/28/2026 10:32:30 PM
Yep, we've all been there, brother. Ahh, the good old days...
The first months was like walking on clouds. But then, I started to peel back the layers like an onion from our conversations, 'events', and gifts that were made. I looked at them through a business lens and doing that removes the 'rose tinted glasses'.
The things she does to make you feel special is for client retention. She's a professional at her job. She will continue to move the goal posts until she wants to cross the client-civilian line with you...if ever.
crossing the "client-civilian line" if you can afford it. I have often said it is more expensive to be a real-life boyfriend than a customer. Why do I do it occasionally? Because the memories you create with a woman that is too young for you in real life are irreplaceable, at least they have been in my experience. When there is no future to worry about and you are both living for the moment, it is great fun, not to mention the looks and stares you get from shocking the sensibilities of people your own age that do not approve of you having so much fun at your age.
There is nothing wrong with it at all, but why would you want to change the current working arrangement? Please don't say for true love's kiss...
the incall for a variety of reasons that make it a better experience. Number one is the absence of a clock dictating the length of the date. Number two is when they say, "You're my boyfriend now, so you don't have to pay anymore." It's a much different dynamic when you are not compensating them directly, even though you are spending more on dates than you would for an hour or two at the incall. For example, a charter helicopter to Catalina Island for an overnight, hotel, meals and sightseeing can easily run $12-1500, but it gives them a taste of a normal life dating someone that they probably couldn't marry but who will show them a really good time. It makes them feel like a civvie girl instead of a provider/hooker. I have had these kinds of short-term relationships with about a dozen Kgirls, and all but one I could call up tomorrow and ask if she would like to do something for the weekend like we used to, and if they were not already booked for the weekend, they would accept. They know it will be something fun, and it won't be on the cheap like the guys looking to date a girl for a discount or free pussy and want to spend LESS than they would for an hour at the incall.
The last one I did, we flew from LAX to Oakland, rented a car, drove to downtown Napa, caught the Napa Valley Wine Train, which goes North parallel to Solano Ave. giving you a view of the vineyards while eating a gourmet meal on the train. Afterward, we checked into a charming B & B, where we were cautioned about making too much noise during sex before returning to Oakland the next morning for our flight home. You make lifelong friends dating like this even though the relationship has no permanent future.
I think you're still on the client side of the "client-civilian line", maybe a sugar daddy?
for their time, so it's not even close to the "client-side." I pay for meals and activities on dates the same as I would with a civvie girl. I've actually taken more civvie women to Catalina by helicopter than providers, because the so-called "Catalina Express" boat is too slow. A few months ago I took a civvie girl to Hawaii, but last year I took a Kgirl. I spent about the same amount each time. Neither one treated me like a sugar daddy.
I've tried sugar-daddying, and its only worked well for me once when I had an arrangement with a college student from Norway. I got everything I wanted for a fixed monthly allowance, so there is always direct compensation even when there is no limit on the amount of time I'm allowed to spend with her. She had three afternoons a week when she didn't have classes, and I could see her any or all of those days and/or all day Saturday on 24 hours notice. The only thing I regret is not finding her until the beginning of her last year at school.
I've never fallen in love with a provider. It sounds like you don't date enough good-looking women or perhaps women don't really resonate with things you say or how you act. Whether that's something you want to remedy is up to you.
A lot of guys really get drawn into providers because in the real world they wouldn't have any chance at a woman with actual beauty being interested in them. For me, I'd say I wouldn't be interested in most providers if they were in public somewhere. I don't even like talking a lot during or after session, much less trying to form some relationship, that's completely out of the question. There have been rare exceptions over many years, but I can count those on one hand. But I still wouldn't call it love. More like a more-friendly business experience.
I enjoy sessions, and I'm paying for the ability to get satisfied and then leave without complication. If for example they started to try and complicate my life or give me attitude, I'd cut the cash. So same for them, they're performing for you for money. If you all of a sudden cut the cash, then they'll cut the performance. If that's love to you, then I guess proceed, but to me that's not love. What can happen and I've seen happen sometimes is the talk of some romantic (exclusive) relationship comes up and it's almost baseline where you'll have to replace her income she generates from working or get very close. If not, then you can maybe be in one of those one-sided relationships where you're not allowed to speak to other women but she's at the incall getting slammed by clients all day while you wait at home for her to get off work. Her phone will go off with various men messaging her at all hours and you won't have the right to complain since "that's my work" same with her going out on her off days when it's off-the-clock time with a client. "That's my work" so get used to that phrase.
Honestly, I think it's a lot easier to just get better relationships with women in the real world and use that for your emotional needs and leave the hobbying as a hobby. If you had attractive women and fulfilling relationships you wouldn't be falling for providers at all.