I have been a regular monger for several years now and been seeing mostly kgirls for the past 3 years.  I was previously married but now in the process of getting a divorce.  Once divorce came into the picture I started getting interested in seeing some of the girls off hours as a way of seeking company outside the normal sex routine.  So I started taking couple of the girls out for simple dinners and drinks as it was pretty easy to convince them since I am Korean American who can speak decent Korean.  But then someone unexpected happened which is I started developing feelings for one of the girls and I believe the feeling has been mutual.  So we have been dating for about 2 months now and she spends all her free time with me now while she is still working.  But seeing her go to work is starting to bring up jealous feelings just thinking about random guys pounding her all day.  At this point I can either walk away from the relationship or I can offer to take her off work as I am decently well off.   I dont have plans to marry her as she is going to engage in a fake green card marriage to someone else but how the hell do you date a kgirl without the jealous feelings?   I have been giving this a long thought and unfortunately I cannot really discuss this with any of my real life friends since they do not know about my hobbies.  I guess I am posting this here since you guys are probably one of the only ones that can relate to something like this without judgement since I have read a few posts regarding real life relationships with kgirls.  

-- Modified on 8/25/2023 11:40:49 AM

i have been seeing kgirls on the side when they are not working...
its a tough one..
but you have to remember that its just work!
thats all.
just a job..  
its hard to handle but if you want to be involved with a kgirl thats what comes with the deal or you can support them
who is this kgirl..
how old is she..  
keep in touch

Happy Friday my monger brothers!!

So, other than that she’s a sexy gal with whom you can fuck your brains out, what do you have in common? Lifestyles? Future goals? Similar beliefs? And one last question. Can you really trust what she’s telling you after only 2 months?

I echo the same questions! Ask yourself why you are getting separated from your current wife and what is so attractive about the K-Girl that you are currently seeing? If she has traits that you don't like, understand that you are getting blinded by a pussy trap at the moment.

So.....   You're still technically married in this 3 year divorce.  She's engaged to be married for a green card.  She's still working, but staying at your house on her days off.  You want to sweep her off her feet and become her sole sugar daddy.  And you're asking about dating without being jealous.  Sir, you're being played by her.  Enjoy being played and stop asking questions about jealousy.  BTW, ask this same question in six (6) months.  My guess it'll be moot.  

We really clicked just hanging out and I enjoy the off hours with her as much as I enjoy the sex.  Don't get me wrong the sex got even better as we got closer but it's all the other hours that we spent together that made me develop feelings.  And one of the conditions that we agreed to was to always be honest with each no matter what.  So I will trust her until she shows me otherwise.

-- Modified on 8/25/2023 10:20:02 PM

The core of your question is really not much different from that one might ask about any relationship where there might be some competing things that result in some envy/jealousy on the part of one person. If you cannot let go and separate that X the other does from the "we" part of the two of you it's a problem.

A sad truth its that working K-Girl is mostly voided of any real emotions. I have never seen any of their relationship works and I have seen handful. The sad reality is that what they do, changes them whether we like it or not or whether we can accept it or not, these girls sell something that 99% of other women out there won't sell. So, it is very easy for them to pack their bag and go back to WLA or MW and start fucking 70 guys a week without blinking when things goes and hit rough patches in the relationship. To them, the idea of selling their body is as easy as going to grocery because to them it is just a "JOB".

Her green card marriage is just a monetary one so I don't have anything to worry about there.  
At this point I think I am going to give her a date to quit the business and until then I can just try to control my jealousy and not think about things too much.

The way I see it, there is just one real way about it. You sit her down, be truthful and talk to her. Your feelings, your concerns (fake green card marriage is my big one) and see if she reciprocates in kind. I hope at this point you probably have heard her tell you things in private that you shouldn’t share (at least I freaken hope so). Then see if the both of you can come to an agreement. If you both really do have feelings for each other and want to take it to the next level, then you two will figure something out. If either one of you have hesitations about something and aren’t speaking about it, then this relationship won’t work. Relationship is a two-way street, you both need to give and take for things to work properly otherwise it won’t.

This will not end well.  Just fuck her and move on.  If she is really into you, she will search you out, and then, WALK do not RUN, to the nearest exit.

What do you see the issue is with the green card marriage.  It relieves me of any pressure of having to marry her in the future in order for her to stay here permanently and it's just a monetary transaction.  And you are right we both need to be more upfront but it's still pretty fresh relationship so I was hoping things will open up more and more in the future.

if you want her to quit the biz due to jealousy, 99% chance things won't work out unless you can consistently fund her $300k+ a year lifestyle. i think the only way these relationships truly workout is if the guy is ok with his girlfriend being fucked by 6-8 guys a day. in other words you have to be a cuckold.  until then, i recommend not getting your emotions involved otherwise 99% of the time it is not gonna work out well for you...

A working K-Girl has different standard and very much no heart. Give your wallet if you want and enjoy her but don't give your heart.  There is more than 99% chance of failure with any working k-girl. Just enjoy her ad then find a nice woman outside if this hobby.  

Well, it is a personal opinion but I have always believed marriage should be done for a more traditional manner. As you just got out of one, I think you know what I mean by that. And if I remember this correctly, depending on what type of visa she is on, the process of her getting said green card can take years.

That is what she wants that way you tell her to stop working and support her and eventually marry her.  Pay off what she owes traffickers and give her citizenship,  not a  bad thing if that is what you want and you do love her. Most of them come over here looking for a man with house and citizenship.

Definitely a decent advice!  

"have no plans to marry her as she....", paraphrasing what the OP actually states, to the type of advice being suggested here?

-- Modified on 8/28/2023 2:56:41 PM

In this case, it depends on your age.  GENERALLY SPEAKING, If you are over 40-ish, the English equivalent would be that you are a potential retirement plan.  If you're under 40-ish, you are a "mark" for a financial hustle, so there is a crossover point in the middle where you may not know what her plans for you are.    

owe money to "traffickers?"

so tell us who is the girl
if you can do that...then date her
if you cant give her up!

Why would I tell you her name and give up her privacy?

We are way past dating and having sex otc.  She has been with me pretty much all her off hours and other than paying for dinner there are no payments exchanged.  We are probably going to get a place together and see how things work out.

guessing from his past  May June  reviews if he did review this girl.......

Not sure what painter was trying to say there. I don't see that your actually telling anyone her real name would change any advice those here might offer -- unless there are others that also know her (but then stage name should work just fine too) and can say more specifically about her personality and the like. So no sure he was really asking you to name the name.

if you were not jealous after starting dating the girl, i'd then ask what kind of BF you are!
it's human natural!  

Nope I intentionally didn't review her.

I dont think he understands that k-girls are pretty much a free agent and what they do are on their own choosing.  

may have Kgirls confused with something else, or wherever he got this impression may have a different setup for Kgirls?    Maybe where he is, things are done differently, so I'm seeking information about WHY he thinks they are trafficked.  The Kgirl scene is always evolving, and it's good to have an exchange of information here to uncover the new wrinkles that appear in the biz from time to time.  He may have gone to a place that is not like we normally see with the 2-girl apartment setups, and I would like to hear about it.  You've been on TER for ten years, so I'm guessing you have lived through all of the changes in the Kgirl scene just like many of the rest of us.  Let him explain why he thinks they are trafficked.  

guess you fell for her from day 1, that explained not reviewing her as you planned.
i did the same things years ago, even helped to delist and removed all the records once decided moving forward!

I don't know if I planned it from the beginning.  I usually wait several weeks before writing reviews and after a while just decided not to based on how things were rolling along.  

That you were considering "walking away" as one of your choices, it was not apparent to me that you were this far along.  Most guys fuck up the transition from customer to boyfriend.  That's the most difficult aspect, but since you are past that, most of what I said no longer applies.  

If that was the question, then yes I know her real name and other various personal info and even looked through her passport.  

My divorce is not finalized as we are still dealing with the financial aspects and its probably 6 months from completion.  And honestly I would rather not have to marry her before I was ready just for the green card sake.  This frees me from any  pressure of having to marry her just for her to stay in the US.

Would be a bad move since you are committed to three years when the going in odds are low of a long-term relationship duration of three months or more! Set up the recommended ground rules, set aside your jealousy and enjoy it while it lasts! Moving in together is a bad move given the green card marriage with a different guy.  Why don’t you start with a sleepover or two a week?

she is a newlywed with another guy is a disaster waiting to happen.  I've seen it a few times and when it blows up and she is summarily deported, it's not pretty. Good luck to you if you are committed to go through with this regardless of the risk of legal consequences.

I mean, you can live with her and see how it goes. Some things to consider are her lifestyle, personality and quirks, and personal baggage that you potentially haven't encountered yet.

i dont care about her real name
what i am trying to say if if you want to date a kdoll
and keeping her a secret by not letting us know her kdoll name  
then you have a problem
if you didnt care about her work..then help her in her job
it seems you cant decide what to do here
if you really love her then go for it..tell her to quit and have her and support her
if not move on
i personally dont care who it is  
i believe on the forum sharing and being supported to other mongers is why this board lasts so long
no more on this
move on dude!

I don't ever recommend publishing her name.  It will cost her some business.  Many mongers will not see Kgirls if they know they have outside boyfriends for three reasons.  1)  Boyfriends are usually going bare, even if she is a GFE girl at work;   2)  We all want the fantasy of thinking the Kgirl we are fucking is into us.  If you know she has a boyfriend, it's hard to pretend you are anything special to her;  and 3) Those of us who date Kgirls would rather control the information the kgirl we are dating gets about us.  We don't want to have to do damage control when some bigmouth sees her, and says, "I know your boyfriend.  He's a wild one.  Did he ever tell you about the time he and three Kgirls were drunk and naked. . . . . ? "

The whole paragraph above is written from someone who is very experienced and I concur and particularly the reference to: "In this case, it depends on your age. GENERALLY SPEAKING, If you are over 40-ish, the English equivalent would be that you are a potential retirement plan.  If you're under 40-ish, you are a "mark" for a financial hustle, so there is a crossover point in the middle where you may not know what her plans for you are."

That is a decent idea but I recommend that you don't get too attached to her because they can drop you like a speedy bullet without any hesitation and trust me that they will not shed any tears. All the tears and pain will be yours.

i just thinkj if you really love this girl
then the answer is obvious
if you are asking what to do then you arent sure of your intentions

Well, sometimes we need validation or reassurance from our monger peers: nothing wrong to ask for 2nd opinion or perspective.

if your SO was a professional actress and she was in a movie where she did a hot bedroom scene with a hunky guy who is way better looking than you?   When it's her job, she is not emotionally involved.  Providers are the same way.  They are actresses.  It's possible real life love could blossom between providers and their customers, but if she is in a committed relationship with one person who has transitioned from customer to real boyfriend, the sex she has with other customers means no more to her than would her students if she was teaching an aerobics class, although experienced providers will convince their customers otherwise with their acting abilities.  

This logic too also expands to the kpop industry. Image control and retaining that whole parasocial connection, as strange as it may get.

ROFLMAO: Actresses with lots of orgasm after orgasm !

-- Modified on 8/31/2023 7:17:28 PM

I think it'll INCREASE her business.  People will just stop in to see what the fuss is about.  I would. BTW, her making a shit ton of cash is win-win for both.  What was her name again?

experience with dating Kgirls on the outside.  They KNOW it hurts their business to have a real-life boyfriend, so many don't do it in the first place, and others who take boyfriends tell them not to tell anyone.  If word gets around the Kgirl network that as a boyfriend, you can't be trusted to be discreet, good luck finding any other Kgirls who will take you as a boyfriend after that.  Your speculation and instincts on this are just plain wrong.  

ive been a monger for over 15 years. went hard at it when I was living in ktown since it was so convenient. I've seriously dated 6 kgirls in the scene....2 of them legends...and currently dating one still.  

You're right.  Never dated a prostitute.  Release the name and she'll get a increase in business and quit the business.  Then the OP can ride off into the sunset with bags of money with his true love.  

The closing argument: "...Actually i do have some advice. have your fun, but know in the back of your mind you'll never marry a hoe. just stay for the short ride."

came here to work for ninety days and ended up staying for years like their job and are not necessarily looking to be "rescued."  This cliche is often thought of by guys who have only seen Kgirls as their customer and never outside on a personal level.  They like their life, their independence and the money they earn during their prime years in their 30's.  Once past 40, some will think about retirement options then, but rarely before.  

not sure why you want to make a big deal as if this particular type of case is so different than other marriages of financial gain and sex benefits (at least in this case you know the sex will actually be good and not just what others are imagining).

That was a pretty random response.  One thing is true; they love the money.  But releasing  the name WILL increase her business.  BTW, Buddha has a similar philosophy.  

ok my opinion
lets close this..its getting boring
if the guy wants to date a kdoll big deal
if he really loves her then he will realize it will take some big bucks
if he is so concerned now then he is really confused
i say
let him post the kdoll name and help her

told you who they are dating on the outside and asked you to spread the word?  I assume it has happened to you since you are so firm in your belief that their business will increase by publishing who they are dating.  Could you provide a link to any post of yours where you named a kgirl and the guy she was dating on the outside so we can see the date on your post and track the reviews that came after it?   Or, can you show us a post on this board from ANYONE else who named a Kgirl and who she was dating on the outside so we can see if her business improved or not?

Let's wish them a happy ending and let's hope that they last together but be forewarned that this story 95% has a very bad ending for the gentleman who is involved. They leave and they won't even shed a tear; for them it is just a "Way of Life" and it is a "Job" and we are the "tool".

Can I ask what was the red flags that you saw with kgirls you have dated?  I am also curious on how you were fucked over if you don't mind sharing.

I posted her working name but deleted it because it felt like invading her privacy. She might have loose lips but I shouldn't gossip like that. No need to know her name anyway. It would just cause jealousy. She may get more businesses from curious mongers but that could be annoying to be asked about her private life. Other mongers may stop seeing her because they don't feel special anymore
.
Her visa expired and 36363jensen said her green card will take a long time so he thought I got the wrong Kgirl. I still think I am right unless the OP said otherwise. I got a PM from someone but I can't read it.
.
The right thing to do is to retire her. If I like someone enough and can retire her, I wouldn't let her go through a fraud green card marriage. Retire her immediately and plan the future together. Understand all the risks and work it out. Only the OP knows how far he would go for her. She needs someone to take care of her. If the OP is not willing to do that then there is nothing to discuss, is there?
.
Anything short of retiring her is just a fling. No need to overthink in that case.

The guys I know who have married Kgirls and are willing to support them get absolute loyalty.  Kgirls who used to sell sex know a good situation when they see it, and MOST are too smart to fuck it up by playing around on the prince charming they managed to nab.  

by reading your post
im sorry to say
you're gone and lost!
good luck!

Financial stability is paramount on most women's minds when it comes to choosing a man, whether they are Kgirls or civvie women.  There have been many articles about young women in their 20's going for guys who are 45-50. Financial stability is just one of the reasons.  Life experience is another.  Older guys know how to plan the perfect date, arrange a romantic vacation, and spend time with JUST the girl, and not in a group.  Group dates or activities get you relegated to the "friend zone." and once you are there, it's hard to get out.  Older Kgirls, 35-45 will troll for guys over 60 that are already retired and have enough resources that they can take care of them permanently, providing these men are physically fit, in good health, and love to travel.  In return, the guy gets loyalty and is often spoiled by the girl.  However, an older guy is not always a good fit for a 20-something Kgirl.  I have found that cultural differences brought on by the age difference is the biggest deal killer for me when it comes to Kgirls under 30.  

Sex Education Professor ...

there is a tipping point where the age difference is just too great, and you really have nothing to talk about except money and sex and it's more like a trophy-wife/arm-candy situation.  It gets boring very quickly and you realize this is not the way you want to spend your life going forward.  I have had good success in real life relationships with Kgirls who were no more than 15-20 years younger than me.  Beyond that, it's a waste of time and it not going to last.  

Ahhh...That thorny issue.

All girls (civilian or working K-girls) are looking for financial stability and that very True sir! Guys over 48 are target for marriage to some of the K-girls who are in their 35+ years of age. I had two asking me point blank to "Take Them Home".

Yes! Trophy-Wife/Arm-Candy situation analogy can be used but it is hard to describe them as a Trophy-Wife when they have been fucked by 5,000+ guys: There is nothing trophy about that  if you ask me.

We're probably less judgmental, than the non-hobbyist.  But I agree that the illusion of passion that we expect will quickly fade into a cold reality.  Also, I think they are retiring in their late 40's, not 30's, just because they can work.

I don't judge them for what they do! Would I have married one? Probably not and that is not because of what they do but because how they act when you get to know them. I have taken six out and almost all of them are very hot tempered and sensitive to their past.  

just wondering if they broke up yet?

Yes I totally agree with you. There some chumps that book them all day thinking that they can get them. Turns out they actually have a real bf in secret. If they aren’t putting you in the Facebook/ social media to show their friends, then are not the bf just another customer spending too much .

wondering if we are all invited to the wedding?

So far so good as we are 3 plus months into the relationship.  We are planning on moving in together in a few months and see where things go from there.  No fit of jealous rage as of yet.

woohoooo!!!! godspeed brother, you are living the dream of a lot of dirty old johns. seriously, I hope it works out.

"dirty old johns", but rather clean-but-very-horny old johns. From what Kgirls have told me for years, older customers rarely pass on the shower, unlike younger guys.  Just sayin'.    Lol

Why in gods name would someone pass on the shower? It totally sets the tone of session. Insanity.

for years that there is no better ice breaker.  The yutes don't get it.  It takes five minutes.  With age comes wisdom.  

The shower is just another part of the session to have some great wet 'n' soapy foreplay!
Both the welcome and farewell shower!

Speak for yourself dude.  I think it's kind of silly to be "dating" a provider.  It's even worse if it's one-sided monogamy which it often is the case.  She's going out there getting slammed by me and 7 other guys from 10am - 10pm but then the boyfriend isn't allowed to talk to other women because it's "just business."  If it's a situation where you're paying for dinner in lieu of paying the rate and that's the "relationship" then so be it.  But it's usually not the case.  The times it has come up in conversation it's almost always the "boyfriend" needs to behave and act like a real boyfriend but she can go do whatever she wants as long as she's getting paid cash for doing it.  That's ridiculous.  Pretty soon it's not just cash, but it's trips or shopping sprees too.  So it'll be time off but some client bought tickets to Europe and so she's gone with him for a week getting nailed while this guy sits at home watching TV and scrolling his phone for text updates.  And that's "just business" also.

You sound bitter. Did something happen that you want to share? Talking about it definitely helps!

I agree that the one-sided monogamy is often a condition for the Kgirl.  However, I moved away from that after the first couple of Kgirlfriends.  Since then, I have told them I want a level playing field, so we reach an agreement that if she's going to continue to work, then I should be able to remain a "customer," without jealousy or repercussions.  Therefore, transactional sex for both of us is okay.  As long as she is getting paid, and as long as I'm paying the other ladies I see, we both agree in the beginning that it's not cheating.  With this approach, I get a much longer run dating a Kgirl than I did with my first couple of Kgirlfriends when I went along with the one-sided monogamy.  

Bitter because I don't date providers?  Ok...

Yeah transactional things are fine with me, like I said above where if instead of paying a rate I'm picking up a check, then whatever.  But I don't consider that a relationship like OP is mentioning.  And I think for a lot of these co-habitating relationships, it's more like instead of paying for sessions, old dude is paying the full $4,500 a month rent plus shopping plus a vehicle every single month while she pads her savings account.  In fact it almost has to be that way because if she's paying any expense he's involved in, he's no longer a customer, he's a pimp.  Which is a felony in California under the Pimping and Pandering laws.