I've received an alarming number of PM's lately from guys that are getting blocked, which is Kgirl-speak for blacklisting, so I thought it might be helpful to review the behaviors that can get someone blocked. This list is compiled from many hours discussing this topic with Kgirls and bookers who have come to trust me with inside info on the business. I have ranked them from most to least egregious (in the view of the Kgirls/bookers), although individual girls may have the order in which they take offense a little differently than the averages presented here.
1. Physically abusive. This is the number one reason girls ask a booker to block a guy they don't want to see again. An example is a particularly brutal face-fuck where you are holding the girls head and forcing the girl to DT you and gag. While many girls will not object at the time, they will simply wait until you leave and then BL you with the booker. Another example is a girl last year that was wearing a metal bracelet and a guy squeezed her wrists so hard he caused the metal to cut the skin and drew blood. She had to cancel the rest of her appointments for the day, so both she and the booker lost money not to mention the pain she went through. 2. Pressing for off-menu services. There are a some girls that will BL you at the mere suggestion that you don't want to use a condom. They assume you are not safe and already infected with something if you're willing to go bare with someone you just met. Other girls are YMMV, which prompts some guys to ask. If that's your thing, ask once, and if the girl says no, don't bring it up to her again, ever. If you become a regular, and she changes her mind, she will let you know. Asking every time you see her gets old and gives her a bad attitude. Rather than deal with the negative feelings from guys that keep pressuring her, its easier just to block them. Many guys that can't seem to take no for an answer have been blocked by multiple girls. These first two are within the sole discretion of the individual girl. Many guys learn from their mistakes and clean up their act, but many bookers have a guideline that if more than one girl complains about one of these two behaviors, then the guy is BL'd from the entire lineup of girls with that booker. Jerky guys who won't be respectful and won't take no for an answer that got on the Megan-Queen joint BL know what I'm talking about. The booker simply stops responding. Some bookers will BL you from their whole agency merely on the report of ONE girl that said you asked. 3. Chronic Overtime. How often we read in reviews about how the girl was so into the reviewer she went ten minutes overtime. I just got a PM this morning from a close hobby friend that was BL'd by a girl he had seen more than ten times who had finally had enough of him running overtime. The girls don't get much of a break between customers and when you linger after your hour is up just because she's not literally pushing you out the door, you have cost her the short break she was looking forward to after your session. Anger over missing her cigarette is still going to have her thinking about you three or four hours later, but not in a good way. 4. Stiffs and shorts. Sometimes these are accidents. You miscount the money or you leave the envelope in the car and don't realize it until you are standing at the door. I have forgotten the envelope twice. Each time, I texted the booker and told her I was returning to my care because I forgot the envelope. The ten minutes I wasted was on me, but nothing else bad happened. Some guys use 20's for the donation and miscount. When seeing a new girl for the first time, I INSIST she check the envelope at the beginning of the session and I ask her if we are good. A miscount is less likely to cause a problem with a regular than with a new girl that doesn't know you. You can make it up next time with a regular. If you are chronic in forgetting or miscounting with multiple girls, you can expect either a girl or agency-wide block. 5. Chronic tardiness. Shit happens. Traffic is bad in cities like LA, so EVERYBODY, including me, is occasionally late. Your time starts at the time you booked, not the time you get there. Guys that come ten minutes late and expect to stay over and get their full hour can expect that sooner or later, the girl will tire of not getting a break after seeing you and tell the booker to block you. You'd be surprised how resentful the girls are over guys that run overtime. They don't want to be rude, so they won't call you out on it, but will simply refuse to see you in the future. Bookers are powerless to override the girl's decision on a individual customer block. This is a behavior that is personal between you and the girl. Its OUR responsibility to be out on time, not the girl's. 6. Excessive cancellations. If you have a high cancellation rate, you can expect to get blocked. Most often, these are married guys who think they will be free for an afternoon, book a session, and then find out their wife's plans have changed and they're not going to be able to get away. If it happens a little bit, the bookers will start out by just allowing same-day bookings only, no pre-booking, but if you are cancelling a lot, either a girl or the booker can BL you. Last minute openings due to cancellation often go unfilled, so both the girl and the booker lose money when you don't keep your appointment. If its a legit emergency, and out of character with your past behavior, most bookers/girls will let it slide. Its when its chronic that they start thinking they really don't need your kind of business clogging up their schedule and then not showing up. 7. Time-wasters. This one applies more to the bookers than it does to the girls, but will apply to the girl if you are one of the love-sick puppies that has to text a girl every day that you are only seeing a couple times a month. E-maintaining you becomes a diminishing return on her time, and she will reach a point where having your business is not worth dealing with the constant texting from you. With bookers, they want efficient appointment requests. I have posted before the proper format for getting a response AND an appointment from a booker. They don't like chit chat, nor do they have time for 20 questions. If you start out a text with "What can you tell me about Sally", you likely won't get a response. If you're not requesting an appointment, DON'T initiate contact with a booker until you're ready to do so. AND please, don't ask a booker if a girl's pussy is tight. If the booker is a woman, she won't know. If its a man, even if he knows, he will say he doesn't know, so don't waste their time with questions about the girl's physicality. In the interest of full disclosure, all of this info comes from talking to girls and bookers that trust me, not from ME getting blocked or BL'd, because it hasn't happened to me. However, there may be some here that have been blocked for other reasons, so please feel free to share your experiences and add to the list.Only 5 and 6 happened to me. But I came in late and still got out on time. I don't stay over like Cheapstake.
Shit happened, but not often.
And I have a clean record.
Thanks CDL. This guide will help most of the newbies
-- Modified on 7/17/2017 10:48:36 PM
And I'm relieved to see that there's nothing here that I've been inadvertently doing; so far, at least, common sense and courtesy have kept me OK as far as I know.
they are the fools that tried to force bb, rip hat off during in/out, and or came to session drunk!
I come to session drunk sometimes. That would just make them laughing at me. Not sure if I was the joke or the alcohol.
I think I am a giddy drunk. One time, at the beginning of the session, a girl saw my grinning face, tried to smell my breath and accused me of being drunk and that she does not like a drunk. I laughed and kept denying but finally had to ask how she knew? She said I looked different than before. I knew I felt much happier than usual so my face must have given it away.
At the end of the session, she told me if I want to drink, bring it and we drink together. So I think being drunk is OK as long as we still treat them right. Or maybe I just wasn't drunk enough to be called drunk LOL.
when we're off the clock. Its one thing for a customer to have a few drinks to settle his nerves before a session, but its another matter to get a girl drinking at work, which could potentially ruin some sessions for other guys that are scheduled after yours. Many guys, especially Newbies, will have one or two drinks before a session because they are nervous, but that's not the same as coming in drunk and making an ass out of yourself of making the girls job harder.
I drank lightly (six pack of beer) the night before and saw a provider next evening. Found out later that she was from North and in LA for short while afterwards. But from the beginning of the session, she wasn't into kissing at all like most of the K-girls. Towards the end of the session, she asked me if I had any drinks before coming to see her. I politely told her no (truth) and her response was I had an alcohol breath with bit of discomfort attitude. On the way out I texed her booker to avoid the misunderstanding saying I drank night before but definitely not before seeing her. Since then, I drink very little before seeing any provider but no drinks on the same day. I know alcohol breath annoys girls.
On a similar note, girls have told me they dislike and avoid kissing when guys breath smell like cigarettes or some weird foods, e.g. garlic. Luckily I'm not a smoker but I do love food with garlic so need to be careful of diet on day of visit.
As for the alcohol, there may be two other reasons they dislike the smell of it on your breath from the get go. And neither has to do with kissing.
One, the guy probably has clouded judgement for the appointment and has potential to become hyper aggressive and / or argumentative. Sorry about last night, it was the alcohol. If you're a guy and a drinker, 99.9% chance that line will sound familiar.
Two, alcohol may increase the libido but often prolongs time to achieve orgasm. Despite what you may read in the TER reviews, most girls don't want you to bang away at them for the entire hour even if you are the greatest lover of all time. They would be happier professionally speaking if you were a two minute lover and dozed off immediately afterwards. If you ever heard the comment, "too strong", from a kgirl then you know what I'm talking about. Lol.
that eat a lot of garlic, sometimes even for breakfast. They love it, so I'm surprised they didn't want to suck on your tongue if you just ate garlic. Have experienced the garlic breath much more than smoker's breach with Kgirls, but both are a turnoff for me. I will let it pass one time, but if its habitual, I will stop seeing her for that reason alone.
Does the garlic breath turn into something else? Curious as I usually try to hit the fruit hard prior to a meeting
All the toothbrushing, mints, mouthwash etc aren't going to get rid of Kim Chi breath. lol
The only thing that gets rid of the smell of Kim Chi or raw garlic is time. It takes a full day for it to cycle out of your (or her) system and just like smoking there is no truly effective way of masking the smell.
Rule number one when going out for Korean food with someone you hope to be kissing later. Make sure whatever you eat, she eats too and vice versa. As long as you both have the same "stink breath" you won't ever notice it, but if only one of you puts the raw garlic on your Kalbi or eats the Kim Chi, the other is NOT going to enjoy the kissing. lol
All the toothbrushing, mints, mouthwash etc and they can still smell it on me. Please don't tell me the only way is time. I can't follow rule number one either or CDL will blame me for getting her drunk during a session if she actually drinks.
I don't mind alcohol breath or smoker's breath. I don't think I mind Kim Chi either if I know she just ate some, but morning breath or some other unpleasant smell will destroy me. I just have not the pleasure of smelling Kim Chi or garlic yet.
Raw garlic is the worst. It's nothing like the rather sweet (by comparison) smell you get from Italian or other cooked garlic smells. You can actually smell it from half ways across the room. If you think morning breath is bad, you "aint seen nothin yet" lol
As for alcohol breath, some K-girls are extremely sensitive to the smell/taste of alcohol and I don't know of anything but time that will get rid of the smell enough to escape their notice. Sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, how do you think a drunk like me must feel. lol
Maybe I'm lucky that I've tasted uncomfortable breath few times from k-girls while dfk'ing with them. But I did taste strong cigarette breath a couple of times. Taste itself was way too strong and I thought they put an astray with burning cigarets inside my mouth. LOL
I always text the booker if I'm going to be late. My only complaint is sometimes they run over, and I'm waiting, and my session starts 10-15 minutes late, and then I'm rushed out. Doesn't seem fair if I'm not the guilty party. But I can live with it. All the rest of your deadly sins are right on. Been at this a long time, and most of the girls are comfortable enough with me they tell me about the attitudes and behavior of some customers, and it really pisses me off. Just paying doesn't give you the right to abuse or basically try to rape them bareback. Ruins it for everybody. Thanks CDL...
Being on time and having the girl run late, and then she gets back on her schedule at your expense is rude. I will seldom repeat with girls that do this. Regulars seldom do this, but if they do, its time to find a new regular. There's more girls in LA than any of us have time to see anyway, so finding replacements is never an issue for most of us. Respect for time should be mutual, and if not, she's not my kind of girl. Excellent point. If I ever write "Kgirl sins AGAINST customers", that will be one of them.
there is discussion of Sexy Erica (who previously worked in LA under another nom du sexe) booting two a-holes out in the middle of appointments for attempting to force BBFS.
Too bad there is no way to effectively ban them on a permanent basis.
BD
-- Modified on 7/19/2017 11:12:58 AM
I feel bad for her. I remember her telling me that she hated doing this but I guess when your making 30K+ a month cant do anything else that brings in that same level of income.
Her ex booker retired and she may be with another booker since while back, she tells booker to bl whoever tried and forced bb. I feel sorry for her also.
And yet she is one of the girls who has the reputation of offering it.
Offered it to SOMEBODY, but the difference between it being offered and being forced is as wide as the Grand Canyon. I know you would agree with that.
I admit I am sometimes guilty of being late. It seems that their schedules and my work schedule seems to be about 15 min off so I'm usually rushing to get there on time, usually I do, sometimes I'm maybe 5-7 min late. But, I always keep the booker informed, and usually warn them when I book that if traffic is bad there is a good chance that I'll be a little late. I also always assure them that I will not run past my scheduled time so it's never been a issue. Now it may not always be communicated down the line because sometimes I'll arrive and get the "why you late?" question. I just apologize and let her know that I won't put her behind schedule (even though they never seem to do that when it's reversed). Heck, no loss for them, they still get the same for less time spent. LOL, they should thank me for being late! hahaha!!!
Another terrific post as always from the gent with the most well thought out and articulated advice in this forum. Majority of these tips apply not only to this hobby but to life in general. In a civvie relationship, #1 and 2, depending on severity of offense could actually land someone in a cage where they can then enjoy plenty of complimentary brutal face fucking and bbfs raping to their heart's delight.
After reading this latest CDL post, I can't help but wonder what might a CDL post look like for The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Hobbyists. He has already shared much in this forum but some of the lessons I've learned from this Jedi Master might prove invaluable compiled into one post. The best one he has shared with me may never have even been posted. My personal favorite...a smart way to hobby is to routinely see a new girl vs. just sticking with a favorite. Helps keep things in perspective and prevents attachment to an ATF. Many of us do this any way since variety is the spice of life. However It is easy to fall into this trap, and I have once or twice, because sometimes it's easier said than done.
Compliments to CDL for sharing his insights!
but yeah, I will concede it was a "pretty good" post. lol
Actually at the risk of further swelling his already swollen head (the BIG head, not the other one.) it was one of the best posts of it's kind. Most of these kind of posts get a bit preachy and almost all of them will have one glaring error that almost undoes all the good the rest of the post accomplishes, but I don't see anything to argue with in his post, and everyone knows how much I like to argue. lol
Good job fucker.
I pay attention to your anecdotal musings about the hobby and know that you have experienced pretty much the same things I have with regards to Kgirls, so I was confident this post would get your okay. Sorry to deprive you of an argument, but there is always tomorrow. Lol
What is BSU? Google says most popular use of this acronym is boring status update which I highly doubt is wahat you are referencing. Just curious. Thx.
Because of some professional connections, "BSU" to me means either Boise State or Ball State University.
As you can imagine, that's not the meaning on this board. I think it's either "Best Suck-Up" or "Biggest Suck-Up."
-- Modified on 7/20/2017 11:13:19 AM
Too much of a gentleman to say that about another poster. I could be wrong. In fact, I'm probably wrong. Actually, never mind.
but yes BSU in TER land means Biggest Suck Up. The competition runs concurrently with the SPOTY's and is usually quite hotly contested. lol
but that reminds me of another question: what is this SPOTY of which you speak? My comprehension of TER acronyms is, I fear, a bit spotty, or spoty.
SPOTY=Stupidest Poster Of The Year.
Easily the most hotly contested award on all of TER.
are something we can usually agree on. lol
You are correct to call me a fucking fucker. Its what I am and what I do, mostly with hot young Asian girls.
Of the sins, the only one with which I (very) occcasionally have a problem is #6, although it's almost always because of work as opposed to the old ball and chain.
My window of opportunity is afternoon drive time so I always try to schedule early in the day. Sometimes I have an unexpected meeting pop up at a very inopportune time. I've never given a booker less than a couple hours notice, so its never been a problem.
The only really short notice cancellation was due to a manscaping accident when getting ready. The booker was very understanding due to safety concerns.
BD
I haven't been to particular building in little over a year, being little tired at night and parked on wrong street once. Got to the right building 30 min late. Booker was pissed and ended up cancelling the appointment. I almost got bl'ed for that. I texed the booker explaining and apologizing next day and booker understood. I dealt with the booker for number of times before and I was lucky to be off the BL.
I stayed little over late few times with few providers. We just happened to keep chatting after the session. Booker called the provider asking if she(they) were O.K. after 60 min. She told booker that I was cool and just chatted.
1. Calls out a girl by her work name in a public setting then trying to holler at her.
2. Sneak in a hidden camera/recorder and film the deeds, later on distributing and blackmailing with said footage.
3. Buying cheap ass knock offs as gifts and pretend they are luxury goods
4. Masturbating in front of popular kgirl hideouts
5. Following the girl's car after day's work
6. Doxx people's default gps and trying to figure out where the girl lives
7. You treat me just like another customer
Fuckbois got short attention span, can't concentrate on a wall of text that's grammar correct yo
This seems pretty dark and serious. My own observation is that many, but not all, millennials have been so dependent on their devices while growing up that they haven't developed any social skills when actually in the presence of a beautiful woman. Consequently, many don't have a choice but to pay for sex because they don't know how to get a civvie girl into their bed. The art of seduction seems to be disappearing with my generation. The problem is compounded when they start to think of the provider as their real-life girlfriend when SHE only wants them as a customer. I can see why this "cause", which I have seen, would lead to the "effects" you describe in your list.
There was a recent internet article (which I don't have a link to, sorry), that said many 20-something millennial women are dating men twice their age because the guys their own age don't make enough money and don't know how to treat them as the princesses they were raised to be. Guys twice their age give them everything they want in order to be with a hot young girl. I know that sounds funny, but that's what it said. For the record, the Kgirls I date on the outside are 35-45. You know, the ones who's ads say 26. Lol.
There is that and tinder type of things as well. Our brains and hormones are wired one way, but the interactions extend across a much wider range socially, socioeconomically, distance, etc. at the same time as creating shortcuts that never existed before in human history.
Time and time again I hear about some younger guy usually in tech who thinks because he paid $ to sleep with one of these women that the door to romantic possiblities has been flung wide open. The stories I hear are often hilarious to me, though not so much to the parties involved.
No, she does not want to return to India with you when your H1B expires to be your wife just because you made 10 visits. You know they say there are really only 50 sitcom plots that are recycled over, this one would be in the top 3 in the K-girl world.
Very good read... I can't remember a better post in a long time. And yes, I have no problem of being a BSU. I say what I mean and if a poster still has my respect then I will not keep silent with my praises.
I am guilty of being tardy sometimes but I still want to finish on time or even earlier. Some of these girls actually have no break time so I want to give them some free time back.
Reading this list makes me glad I still have some common sense. I have a better time with my current and following visits when I treat the girls well and they appreciate it. I put myself in their shoes to be considerate.
-- Modified on 7/23/2017 11:44:28 AM
The kind words, but unfortunately SPOTY does not stand for "superb post of the year." LMAO
So while it's not a bad listing I have to think it's largely unhelpful except to perhaps some of the stupid young kid that might be gaining a touch of wisdom about life and are starting to listen to others.
For those that run afoul these sins I just don't see how listing them out is going to change their behavior - those guys are just assholes and probably in a position to pay up for some booker or pimp that doesn't care about the girl at all as long as they are making their money.
it's really pretty simply in this world. Treat others like people and with respect, courtesy and kindness just as should be done in any other social interaction.
A veteran like yourself probably knows all of this, but I posted this because I'm getting a lot of PM's lately from newer guys that start out with, "Help, I've been blacklisted (or blocked) and I don't know why because the booker won't respond." After asking them some questions it usually becomes clear that they committed one or more of these "sins" which they didn't realize at the time was the issue it turned out to be.
You should be a little more tolerant of the fact that there are many guys here just starting out that don't know what you know about Kgirls. When I started out the only "help" available were guys pimping certain girls that had an agenda that was most often at odds with my own, so to the the extent that it's not too much of a time-suck, I try to help out as many new guys as possible. It seemed more efficient to post these for everyone rather than continue to respond to the same PM topics over and over. I apologize your wasting your time with the long read, but it wasn't intended for veterans like you. I think most of the vets here figured it out in their own.
Don't get me wrong, like I said it's a good list. What I'd wonder about is just how many of those needy newbies will actually listen. Some sure, and I'll still say they are learning not about the hobby but about all social relations. Many will just remain the self centers asses that will keep trying the same shit under a different name or in a different location.
Or maybe it's just that I'm that surprised that so many young men have not social skills so they need to PM you for insights. Maybe it's an LA thing or a selection bias in this world. I'll stay with, unless they are something like under 18 and never had a job or anything, they really should already know this.
Most of my PM's are from new guys trying to get it right, but many just don't know when they aren't, so they just need to be pointed in the right direction. I rarely hear from the asses, but when I do, I always remember to remind they are asses, and tell them why. Lol
Sadly, but I agree with you, many millennials that grew up on their electronic devices don't always know how to behave when in the presence of a beautiful woman. Some are trying to fill in that gap in their education, and others prefer to remain clueless. This latter group are the assholes. The former group are mostly nice young men just trying to learn the industry.
Recent reasons to blacklist told to me by women I see regularly, maybe you can think of an overarching rule. Disrespect?
Anything that makes them unhappy when they see "it's him again" at the door. Guys who last too long. Entire hour spent each time trying to get him to pop, expecting her to try relentlessly. Some simply are too gross. Left a skidmark last time you sat down to take off your socks? One gentleman showed up with an open wound on his belly with a ratty dressing on it. She actually tried to go through with it but ended up handing his money back. Guys who incessantly think that paying for sex means romance is possible and won't take a hint. When she says, "Next time" it means never. Be glad she didn't tell you what she really thinks. 블랙 걸다
Hygiene in general. Refuse to shower, refuse to include shower time in the shower. Facial or other hair causing burning or irritation, guys who insist on DATY with stubble and she asks you to stop but you insist. 블랙 걸다
Hurting her feelings. Many already struggle with the fact that they sell their bodies. Telling her she is a low class person inferior to you, and has no right to refuse your request for anal, for example. The "black" can be more about her being upset about the being told she is inferior than about the request for anal. They view men who pay for it no better than the person who is selling it. 블랙 걸다
There was the man showing off his luxury sports car key talking about his money and great life including car, and how she will never enjoy such a luxurious life, but is one of his luxuries. Good move there. 블랙 걸다
Being caught going through her drawers in the bathroom, and giving the reason "I was checking to see if you are taking antibiotics for infection" is not a good move. 블랙 걸다
There's more but just off the top of my head from recent encounters.
Be safe, be well, be cool.
they seem kind of random to me. I doubt that many of these are that "common." However, I agree that there are girls who would block a guy for some of these, especially the hygiene-related issues. There are germaphobe providers that require every customer to take a shower at the incall, even if you just had one ten minutes ago in the apartment next door. I can fully appreciate that if a guy refused a girl like this, it would be his last visit with her. Although, I must admit, the skidmark example made me crack up. Never heard it before, so that's why I think many of these are rare and/or isolated examples. Still, a good list IMO. Thanks for adding you thoughts.
I'm always sorry to hear that there are guys talking "down" to the girls for being providers. I have heard this one as well, but the girls I've talk to say it is mostly Korean guys that treat them shabbily. Its like, "What's a nice Korean girl like you doing in a place like this?" Makes the girls depressed. That's why many don't like working in Mid-Wilshire near Ktown. If they go elsewhere, the percentage of judgmental Korean customers is much less.
Your post made me think for those who may not familiar and are reading this forum, it might be helpful to discuss this concept in Korea of 'kibun' 기분 , If they say their kibun is bad, then they don't simply mean 'I feel bad' or 'my feelings have been hurt.' It is not just the feeling, but the concept of honor, face, respect, harmony. No real word for it in English, though I think most cultures would understand it once explained.
For example doing business, I might meet several times with potential partners over there to generate 'good kibun' before we actually talk business and do a deal. There is a lot of socialization, showing of mutual respect, relative status, through conversation, sharing meals, gifts, accepting an invite to join them at a baseball game, and the like. You have to create 'kibun' then make it grow and better, then they will do business with you.
If a provider told me she is 'kibun' is bad because a client complained she isn't attractive as her pictures and shouldn't be charging so much, it's a lot more than "my feelings were hurt." Similar to the 'why are you doing this work'?
https://www.pri.org/stories/2015-06-17/orange-new-black-said-we-did-story-korean-word-kibun-so-now-we-have
http://www.korea4expats.com/article-nunchi-kibun-values-norms-korea.html
A lot of Westerners or non-Koreans for example do not 'nunchi' as the girls say but they expect them to be ignorant of the concept or insensitive to it. The Korean clients, the interaction is worse as they know the man is not ignorant of these concepts, if he makes her kibun bad, it's essentially deliberate as opposed to ignorant (he spoke in order to make kibun bad). Some of the women I know view this as essentially a business transaction and do not see why they need to have their kibun injured.
Recategorizing the offenses, I had thought of the following hierarchy, most of the sins will go across categories in ascending order of difficulty to forgive or make restitution, the agencies may view them in the opposite order.
1) Offenses that are related to the 'business.' Short changing, complaining about not being given more time, service
2) Offenses against the corporeal - violence or injury to the body
3) Offenses against the intangible - kibun, spirit, and the like
This is not limit to kgirls.
Any decent provider, Asian, Agency, Independent, White, Brown, AA or even green would feel same and do same.
Nasty.
Christine