This board used to be able how to actually enjoy seeing K-girls and get the most of of the time.  

 
Sure, at times we talked about some of the girls that should be avoided, and even which were the better or worse agencies, but mostly everyone focused on enjoying life. I think that served everyone pretty well and made this board enjoyable to participate on.

 
In the interest of getting back to a better place, lets perhaps review old approaches to getting the best out of a session with one of the women we get to see. Given that in many cases language is not a strong link so communications can be a bit more limited getting the best from a session may require some efforts that would not be needed if everyone was using their native language (or at least everyone was fluent in the language used). I want to note at the start, this is really more important for those looking for good "chemistry", for a GFE type session, getting the illusion of both intimacy and passion and a sense of "connecting" (And yes, nearly ALWAYS it is an act -- at least for the start).  

 
I would lump the scenarios into two buckets: first one of two times and then the multiple repeats. I think the two setting will generally require some different approaches but also expect that some actions/strategies/behaviors will add value in both settings.

 
For me the start is to put the girl at ease so she can relax and have some level of comfort that I am not going to be some ass that thinks she is just my sex toy to use as I want. I also find that demonstrating that I actually have some interest in them as a person is a good start. In part, that is one of the reasons I keep trying to learn more Korean phrases and words. That then forms a good basis for building a level of trust for the session and helps let the girl perform her best because that little voice in the back of her mind that will keep warning here of what *could* happen quiets down. Of course that also leads to actually building a "professional" trust than will only enable the girl to truly show off her skills.

 
I think it is a simple fact that until the girl has a certain level of comfort with you getting them off script is generally a failure and results in a very poor session. While following the script is find for newbies once you've been through it a few times they fact a different person is performing becomes increasingly less satisfying for me. But being able to judge just how soon and how far off script one can go does require paying attention to the person or getting to know them at some level.

 
What do other's do?

-- Modified on 10/13/2020 7:26:49 PM

I totally agree with you Jensen.

 

 
My monger Mentor shared with me that the most important thing to him was having the RA comfortable with him.  Why I asked?  So he could take her off script.

 

 

I start out my routine by arriving on time and in flow.  I greet the RA with an enthusiastic anyonghaseo!   Then I'll see if I get a kiss or just a hug at the door.  On to the bedroom and I'll do my formalities which includes me introducing my true self to her, bowing respectfully and handing her the appropriate donation amount.

 

 
If it's our first time together, I'll go ahead and suggest shower together and see if there's soapy shower fun.  I'll also ask for seconds at that time too.

 

YMMV

I've found comfort zone varies greatly. For some girls it can take an entire session to get on the same page. Maybe even two sessions.  

 
Most mongers aren't patient though and they likely won't repeat what is perceived as a mediocre session in hopes of bettering on a repeat.  

Myself as someone who could recognize good service even if chemistry is off, I've found that repeats are usually better chemistry-wise around 60% of the time. About 35% of the time they are the same and 5% they are worse (as the late Dennis Green would say, they were who we thought they were).  

 
There are few things I've found that tend to break the ice and put the girl in comfort zone:

 
Let her take the lead and when you want to deviate slightly, do it in free-flowing manner. Slight variations and gradual change works best.  

 
Jokes. Smiling in general,light simple jokes are extremely good. I've had shitty sessions enhanced by jokes and humor. You break tension. This is my go-tos. Goofy humor is very very strong.  

 
Show that you are harmless.  I won't lie, I love a good pounding. The last thing I'd want is to hurt a girl in any way shape or form. LISTEN to her cues. Don't overwhelm her. Again goofy humor helps. Go with what she allows. Don't go zero to jackhammer even if she does that.  

 
The Korean words - I barely know more than like 15. 15 word means a ton of silly permutations you can make that make little sense and are goofy but funny,especially in certain timing instances.  

 
Honestly, if I were to pick one thing it would be humor. It really shines in any interaction with any human being,and it does work here especially.

That learning some words and phrases in Korean helps but I know there are those on this board that actually disagree with that sentiment. They think it may actually make her attitude worsen, although I've yet to encounter that.

I know some girls dislike when you speak Korean to them, real Korean... ie if you are native or fluent speaker. I've heard it multiple times about Helen from AA/Sophie from SAG. She'd snap and tell those guys to not speak Korean to her because she didn't leave her country for that.  

 

Some of these girls come from tough backgrounds and want to forget about their past.

soon as the girl knows you speak korean they drop the BS acting nonsense.   none of the baby act cute innocent garbage... we just talk normal and if the girls is hot just go straight to banging like normal couple.  

its amazing the difference in service and attitude the girl will have when they are comfortable with the communication.  so instead of "oh baby..honey" in shitty fake english...you get them screaming "oppa!!!!!" "jagi ah!!!" when your banging them in doggie in turbo speed!

started using my looks and charm to my advantage. i think 90% of the ladies i've seen have mentioned "handsome" or "cute" since i have a boyish face for my age. i work in tech, but not as a socially awkward engineer lol. i consciously avoid pse providers.

i always treat the ladies i see as a friend with benefits type of deal, or a boyfriend experience. i take the session slow and intimate, and it got me access to some stuff off the menu that they're comfortable with, but just not with anyone. off hour visits with a couple girls asking if i have time to see them (should i become an RA? lol), picnics or pre-covid lunches ("we look good together"), experimental sex. i know some of the clients are less than desirable (i think that's the nature of the industry), so when they tell me they're comfortable around me, it means a lot.

i still let the stigma of this hobby bother me at times, but i've made some good friends and memories during my relatively short time here

Sorry for the question, but you say you avoid pse providers, but you have many pse providers in your reviews? Or did I misunderstand something?

 
Also, do you speak Korean or at least Mandarin? I'd imagine it's pretty tough trying to be in  pseudo relationship with girls who can't speak a lick of English.

After a number of girls admonished me that they would rather me help them speak English like an adult rather than listen to me speak Korean like a toddler, I got the message and stopped trying to speak Korean.  

 
On the other hand, I had a girl that knew I had dated many Kgirls on the outside ask me why I had so many Korean girlfriends and never learned to speak Korean.  I told her that my position is, if we are living in Korea, I will learn Korean, but if we are living in  America, they will learn English.  Its hard to argue with that.  As an aside, MANY of the girls that speak the best English were helped along in that regard by having an American boyfriend on the outside (that includes Korean-American boyfriends if the Korean boyfriends insist on English or take the lazy way out and talk in Korean). Only speaking English at the incall with customers is a slower path to fluency because the topics are necessarily limited in scope by the time span and the reason the men are there.

Well, someone has to be the toddler, it's either you speaking Korean, or her speaking English.

 
Personally I never subscribed to the idea that you need to speak the language of country you're in. Because English isn't even the original language of this place. I say speak whatever you're comfortable speaking. If a girl is more comfortable speaking Korean, I will use translator apps. All languages are beautiful to me and none are superior to others.  

 

It's fascinating to see kgirls picking up English tho. Some are slow learners, some are quick learners because they listen and like talking.

Korean is a much more complex language than it seems on the surface.  

 
For example, if I recall correctly, there are about 5 different ways to say “because”. And you have to choose the right one depending on the situation and, mostly, who you are talking to.  

 
If you are speaking Korean and don’t make the right word and form choices, it is far too easy to insult the person you are talking to. So, it’s not just that beginners are talking like a toddler. It is quite possible, even quite likely in my experience, that you are insulting the Korean(s) you are talking to if you don’t know what you are doing.  

 
Keeping that in mind helps put it in perspective when you find that Koreans would rather just speak English with you.

Pretty much any language is more complex than English. Mandarin imo is more complex than Korean, and I think there are even more opportunities to fuck up there, due to it being tonal language. However, most people understand that when a westerner speaks half-baked Mandarin they are going to mess up.

 

Personally I've met both girls who preferred to speak their own language, be it Korean, Mandarin or whatever else, and girls who preferred English. To me, it's strictly girl-to-girl basis. Each one is different. I don't think there's a particular rule that would fit and work with all girls equally.  

 

Just my two cents.

provides a crutch while they are still learning to speak English fluently, because many of the commercial establishments are Korean-staffed and so they don't have to speak English at all.  The girls we get in SoCal, are way past toddler-speak when it comes to English.  Its been very rare that past 4-5 years to have girls work here that don't speak English relatively fluently compared to 10 years ago.  

 
A testament to this fluency is the number of the girls that are moving their residences to places like OC, SD, and the Marina del Rey area.  Former LA legend Megan moved her residence to Playa Vista and then onto Marina del Rey where she still lives in retirement.  Popular veterans Shana and Caramel both moved from Ktown to OC a couple of years ago.  There are many more examples of girls who have moved from Ktown to other parts of the SoCal where English fluency is a must.  

 
I must correct your misconception about the original language of "this place", assuming you're talking about the USA.  The official language has been English since the formation of this country and has been the only official language ever since.  I would think a smart guy like you would know that.

You missed the point entirely.

 
I did say Korean was complex. But my point, that I made quite clearly, I’m sure, is that because of the complexities specific to Korean, it is far too easy to unintentionally insult someone when you are talking to them even though the strict definitions of the words you may be using are correct. You might end up choosing words that mean you think they are older or of lower status or whatever. Of course, this is just one of the possible reasons your favorite kgirl might prefer you speak English with her.

 
But I’m not the person to explain the intricacies of the Korean language as it relates to class and culture. Even if I was, this is the wrong place to do it.

Yes, I admit that even usually call an older kgirl who speaks decent English "LA-style".

It's been a bit different here in Nor Cal, especially with newer girls.  

 

As far as original language and this place, I meant America as a place. USA is relatively young country where English was spoken as a result of colonism. A smart guy like you would probably know that there were people speaking different languages before

And by the way, English is not denoted anywhere as an official language. This was precisely because even during the formation of USA, there were multiple languages spoken by the colonist settlers,and people thought it anti-democratic to designate an official language.

documents are in English.  Any documents used in proceedings in US courts of law must be translated into English if the originals are in another language.  That seems kind of "official" to me whether or not anyone has "declared" English to be the official language.  If you can't use other languages in a court proceeding without it being translated into English, doesn't that make English the "official" language of the US Judiciary?  

 
If you're referring to "pre-republic" languages, yes, the French colony was the Louisiana Territory.  French has not been used there in government administration since France sold the territory to the US.  And of course, California and Texas were originally part of Mexico.  But both States use English to administer government.  If you're referring to trial societies there were many aboriginal peoples throughout North America.  Are you suggesting that if a Kgirl moved to Flagstaff, she should learn to speak Navajo, because that was the language used there for hundreds of years in ancient times?  If this is your argument, then you must also believe that those living in Rome, Italy should be speaking Latin rather than Italian.  

I'm not suggesting anything, I simply said I don't subscribe to the notion that anyone HAS to speak the language of the place, entity or country they're in, especially if it's not the original language of the place.

 
It's just my opinion and I don't hold it as an absolute truth. I think people should speak what they feel comfortable speaking,provided their job or position in society doesn't demand it.  
You don't have to agree with it.

 
As far as your other statement I merely stated that USA does not have an official language or languages in place. Canada, for example, does.

Rocket is correct on that point. The USA does not have any official language -- in fact if you go to most government agencies in areas where large populations of immigrants exist you will find signs, documents and staff able to speak in multiple languages.

 
That is one of the unique things about the USA.

-- Modified on 10/26/2020 12:24:20 PM

I find it's the ones who are all business who don't appreciate the effort.  

 
I wouldn't worry about "accidentally" saying something offensive, any K-Girl who has been around long enough to speak English has been around long enough to know that American guys attempting to speak a few words of Korean have no idea if they got a pronunciation wrong that changed the meaning of a work to something offensive. Korean is hardly the only language where the way you pronounce a word can completely change it's meaning, Chinese is very much the same in this regard.

I disagree with those who think English is a necessity. I have dated many women, both hookers and civvies who barely spoke any English at all both in this country and abroad.  It's a proven fact that 93% of communication is "non verbal" and there are a LOT of ways to communicate without sharing a common language. I have had German, Latina, Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese girl friends over the years who barely spoke any English at all. I still remember waking up with this German girl many years ago after a VERY drunk evening who didn't speak a single word of English, and at the time I probably spoke ten words in German, but according to everyone at the bar the night before we were talking up a storm while we were drunk. lol

 
Now I will concede not speaking the same language makes telephone conversations VERY difficult. lol I was dating a chica from Colombia a few years back, she spoke pidgen English and I spoke just a bit of "Spanglish" at the time. We were able to carry on limited conversations in person, but when I tried calling her on the phone I realized not just how bad her English was, but how bad my Spanish was as well. lol Since then my Spanish has improved to the point where I often do just what the K-Girls do, I pretend NOT to understand stuff that I actually understand completely just because sometimes I am not in the mood for "girl talk" lol

I often marvel about how well my communication in English is going with Kgirls UNTIL the first time we try a phone call.  I think the communication is easier when you can lip-read in person.  Its easier to see what words they are trying to say through the thick accents. The masks are causing me the same kind of problem at the nail salon where I get my manicures.  In the past, I could understand all of the Viet ladies by lip-reading to a certain extent.  I knew what they were trying to say, but with the masks, its ten times harder to figure out what they're saying.  

 
I will agree that not much English is needed to get through a P4P session.  Non-verbal works most of the time, but the social aspect and chemistry do require some verbal communication.  Her smiling and  batting her false eyelashes only goes so far with me.  Lol

I got your point, I think you didn't quite get mine.

 
It's extremely easy to insult someone in Mandarin (and Cantonese too, it's even more complex)  because same words mean different things depending on tone.

So it's much easier to insult someone than you can ever in Korean. I think many Chinese kinda expect westerners fucking up. Not sure about Koreans. I do understand that context matters a lot in Korean.  

But you won't literally ask for cunt (bi^1) instead of a pen (bi^2)

Or the very common example used with beginners, the word ma.

I have had a LOT of GF's from a dozen or so different countries (some where they were the "foreigner, others in their native countries)  who barely spoke English and a handful who spoke no English at all and I was able to make it work WITHOUT the lure of payment.

 
Maybe it's because I grew up as pretty much the only non Chinese speaking person in my extended family. For a guy who admittedly likes to talk a lot, I have learned how to communicate without a shared common language. I guess it's a skill that not everyone possesses, but I find it second nature. Not to mention it's a LOT easier in the age of Google Translate. lol Virtually all the relationships I was talking about were well before the benefit of translator apps, actually many of them were before cellphones at all. lol

So I guess I agree with you, or more accurately "you agree with me" lol

 
As I said in my earlier post, even when you fuck up when trying to speak Korean, (or Chinese, Spanish or even Klingon) with a K-Girl she is going to know you are just doing your best to at least "attempt" to find common ground and it's a rare K-Girl that will take you literally when you fuck up the language, instead of getting mad at you, she'll most likely just giggle at your fuck up.

You still missed my point. But you got closer this time.

 
I wasn’t saying that it was easier in Korean than any other language. Though your humble brag about Mandarin was at least well written and to the point. That was nice to see.

 
I was simply giving one of the reasons that a kgirl might be more comfortable speaking English with you than Korean. Simple. No underlying message. Just very clear and to the point.  

 
Having had more than a few Korean speaking coworkers and friends over the years, along with a good number of kgirls all tell me the same thing about how it can be irritating to hear what they would normally consider an insult from someone trying to speak Korean. It’s not that they actually take offense. But they do get annoyed. Koreans do not tend to be the most patient people in the world. Though they are very good at being polite. So they tend to politely switch the conversation to English with English speaking coworkers and clients.  

 
Again, I’m not disagreeing with some of the explanations and comments. I am simply expanding and providing more info.  

 
However, if you want to disagree again, please feel free. But it helps if you actually restate what you are disagreeing with correctly.  Something you’ve had a demonstrably difficult time with when responding to my comments and those of more than a few others on here. Honestly, I think the only truly on topic responses we’ve all seen you write are those to Twoon. But maybe I’ve missed a few.

I... wasn't really disagreeing with you. Merely saying that interacting with Chinese women and trying to speaking their language, there's even more opportunity to fuck up,and from my experience with Chinese people, be it dating or being friends with someone whose native tongue is Mandarin or Cantonese, they are pretty understanding of fuck upd and quite patient.

 

I can't really speak for Korean girls,but my only point of any disagreement was I don't think complexity of language has much to do with it.... You did provide interesting insight, so I was just contrasting other cultures to Korean culture.

 

I will say tho, several kgirls seem very happy to teach me Korean and hear me speak it during a session. Then, again, they are doing it for money and I don't know what they really think.