Had sti scare, got tested and only positive for oral herpes. This community seems to be pretty dismissive of that but it's permanent I guess? Do I need any treatment? Also I have to be more careful about sharing utensils and such going forward I guess?

Since you are asking that suggests you're not really in a good position to assess what advice you might get here is good or bad. Just go to an actual medical source for you information.

eating off someone else's plate or using their fork, but DFK with a Kgirl is Okay?  I would think the FIRST thing that comes to mind is avoiding any mouth to mouth or mouth to genital contact with a Kgirl, not sharing a fork or a spoon.  That knocks DFK and DATY off the menu for you.  Will you be informing the Kgirls you see that these two activities are not allowed as soon as you arrive?  Other mongers who have it may be "dismissive", but most Kgirls won't be.  If you're having an outbreak, most dentists will not see you, even though they will wear a mask and gloves.  THAT'S how contagious it is.  

Where are you located?  General mongering grounds?  

According to John’s Hopkins, 90% of people have it by age 50. Not a barn burner....

Pretty sure JH said by age 50 90% of people have been exposed not caught. Small difference but worth getting the numbers correct.

I'm sure you've heard of oral herpes referred to more commonly as "cold sores" and I'm sure you've known at least one other person that has had cold sores at some point in their life