Just wanted to give an update to my previous post. So far no good. (Background- Divorced, Bi-curious girlfriend, both newbies)

I started out thinking I could just make contact, give my info, be verified and go. Not as easy as I thought. First provider was highly rated and reviewed. Despite that no pics. Asked to meet in public first since I wanted to see and also thought it would be nice to know someone first. Requested this with compensation. I know this is a business and time is money. Politely declined.

I have been given "permission" to see a provider with the stipulation that it is limited to BBBJTC, which is not available in my relationship. Thinking that I should establish a relationship first, contacted second provider that appears to excel in this area via text and email. Two days later received text asking if I was still interested. Replied that I was unavailable that day and would call on Monday. Called Monday and left message. Have never heard back.

Contacted third provider that is part of P411. Gave provider all of my information and told them I had made application to P411. P411 was not processing applications last week so I have not heard from them yet. However, provider texted two days later with a decline.

I am really confused by all of this. I am only contacting well reviewed providers and I really do appreciate the caution. I do not know if it is because I am self employed or that I am requesting something unique. I provide all home and work addresses and phone numbers, cell phone and website. As far as I can tell no one has called to verify but everything is also public record.

A couple of TER members have contacted me with advice and suggestions (thanks again) but I am just going to leave everything alone until P411 gets me verified. One suggestion was that I establish a relationship with a provider first before introducing my girlfriend. I can see the reasoning but I would rather spend the money on the three of us meeting in public and sharing a drink or dinner. I know that it could go either way but the cost to benefit makes me think it is worth it. I say this only because of all the reviews I have read that talked about the good/fun/easy conversations they have had. I am by no means looking to make a friend. I just think the experience(s) would be so much better with someone you knew. I compare it too a provider or client you have met a few times. Not friends but not strangers.

Providers, I can see what I am asking could be too intrusive or awkward. While I am waiting to be verified I look forward to comments or suggestions.