In Search Of
Mitchell Brothers Theater on O'Farrell. They have all kinds of crazy sex shows, plus your usual strip club lap dances, and the private cabana rooms are a MUST.
My hubby just got back from doing business in San Francisco, and was lucky enough to get two nights in at Mitchell Brothers. Apparently, the club is quite open-minded as well, and I can't wait to go with him next time. 
That's a bummer, man. Definitely good advice on making sure all is understood before paying. If it helps any, my husband said that he was completely forthcoming about his expectations -- ie no code words or beating around the bush (no pun intended). The girls were very open to that kind of talk, and everyone got what they wanted. Perhaps he was lucky?
Now, about those asian places? Do tell! He's in SF pretty often.