hello:

i am new to the scene and was looking for a sincere, MILF type in the new york area.
ideally someone who would be patient and understanding with a nervous novice and appreciative of gentle role-play and vintage lingerie. safety, cleanliness, discretion and respect are of paramount importance.

any advice would be appreciated
thank you

Your perfect choice is Heather.  She is fabulous, beautiful, sexy discrete and more.  Everything you are looking for.  Here is her TER link.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/show.asp?id=62250