I understand that. Most people do. But Some will make the call anyway to see if you really do ask for verifacation as not all that say so do so. Just as you are concerned for your safety some will not be comfortable giving out personal info that leads to work or home. Just as I move on to the next so should you without loosing a minutes sleep. Your rules are your rules no need to explain with any other reason than that.
Lately I have had many inquiries from people with no references, I do not mind work verifying for a new friend.
But a few have out right refused to even give a real name let alone give me any kind of verification info. I have to explain this is how all of us stay safe. I put so much out there about myself through my website, blog and news letters besides having reviews and testimonials, that it seems really shady for someone to be so secretive about introducing themselves.
If you are that scared about me having your name do not contact me.
I understand discretion,I expect it the same as you.
Verification = safety Donation=consent.
When I 1st started this hobby I was so scared of giving info. It took me 2 months before I had the guts to set a date.
I read the newbie Board from start to finish.
I think some don't take the same time and effort. If I were you send them to the newbie Board to get an Education.
Then they will come back once they understand.
Glass is half full type?
I'm not sure it's confusion as much as rudeness and a sense of entitlement.
While there is always going to be a certain percentage of newbies...there's also a certain percentage of guys who believe they are in charge, have the money, and make the rules. I'm not sure of the reason, but it seems the climate has changed from a few years ago. The degree of disrespect and misogyny seems to have risen drastically within the last two years. Maybe it's the economy that makes discretionary funds seem like they have more value....or the number of ladies who didn't plan for hard times and are making 'decisions from empty pockets' (lowering their standards because they simply need the money).
Whatever the cause....you're doing the right thing, and good for you for sticking to your guns so to speak.
Of course money is important....but safety is, and always will be, absolutely paramount. Both parties need to remember that no matter how many times they have done 'this'...it's still illegal...and the world is full of crazies. It's up to each person to determine their comfort zone for meeting someone new. If it clicks...great. If not...no harm, no foul, just move on and choose someone new or go after the next new inquiry.
While it must be frustrating to deal with some of these people....again, you're doing the right thing and your post might help someone else going through the same situation to remain strong to their standards.
Just sayin'
DD
I can definitely agree that some dudes seem to have a sense of entitlement.
On another side, there's always those girls out there that don't screen. Ya know, the fly-by-night, $75/h backpage types. If a guy has seen some of these girls and thinks its the norm to just send one quick email or phone request with no info to get a date, it makes it that much harder for the rest of us legitimate girls to convince them that our screening process is a real thing that happens if they want to get with us.
Some people just do not understand that screening is just as much for their safety as it is yours, Talia. Don't compromise your standards for uncooperative assholes. Let them go elsewhere. If you can't verify them, you don't need to see them, simple as that.
Do what you feel comfortable with and no less.
Swim
-- Modified on 1/6/2013 10:35:15 PM
Just in the past few days I have gotten emails and calls from gents who are in town visiting or live in this area and expect a same day appt. Worse is the lack of information I have gotten. Needless to say none of them passed my screening!!
While I have explained to them that a same day appt. is almost impossible, worse is the lack of information I receive. I don't understand either how when you explain to the person that "everything" I ask for is on my contact page, yet I get bare minimum information. Just yesterday I had a guy contact me like 10 times and after the 1st email (which was graphic), I explained to him that I could not help him due to the graphic nature of his form/emails as well as lack of information. I didn't want to be rude to the guy so it was like twice that I explained what I need and finally I cannot help him. This man was begging and pleading with me to see him.
Things are and have been definitely changing and I don't think for the better. Like DD said these guys think they are entitled to see us even if they don't provide certain information. Yes it is a ladies choice as to what they accept, but I don't sway from my standards. Being around for 5 yrs. now, I have changed some of my practices...but not for awhile now and thankfully, it has kept me safe!!
What really frightens me is just how many well known, highly reviewed ladies do not take screening seriously. I hear way too much about the practices of these ladies. So, how am I to trust that reference?
I am very careful and I don't care who doesn't like it. This has kept me safe and if a gent refuses then it's ok for them to go elsewhere because ultimately in the end...I keep me safe and no one else!!
Keep doing what you are doing Talia..I would trust a reference from you in a heartbeat and thank you for the post..
rudeness back at them. I know that is not your style, nor the style of the majority of quality providers, but sometimes you might have to return in kind to what they sent you if the can't take a nice hint.... It sucks, but I think it's probably true.
Swim
I responded to him and explained due to him being graphic I could not see him. I feel 2 emails explaining his graphic nature was enough on my part. If he doesn't get the hint I can't help that. It is just not in my nature to be mean or a smart ass. However, I was also dealing with my mother being with me as she fell in PA and needed to recuperate some with me. Even under that pressure I will not be rude..
Swim
I have to screen as my career could be seriously jeopardized if my hobby ever became public. There are so many ways to screen discreetly and carefully. There is just no reason to discount the power of ISP's, the internet and cell numbers along with screening sites and reliable references. I am very forthcoming with a gent who send me references that are just not up to my standards and if they get angry with my refusal to see them - I let them know that there are many choices but I will not be one of them. Not to be crass but I rather take care of my orgasmic addiction myself than to put myself in harms way~
Happy New Year!
Saty safe!
just to meet a guy who is acting like an a-hole. If a guy is not smart enough to read your website, understand your screening requirements, etc., let him move on.
Stay safe!
I understand that. Most people do. But Some will make the call anyway to see if you really do ask for verifacation as not all that say so do so. Just as you are concerned for your safety some will not be comfortable giving out personal info that leads to work or home. Just as I move on to the next so should you without loosing a minutes sleep. Your rules are your rules no need to explain with any other reason than that.
All kidding aside, but stick to your standards Talia......Safety is first and foremost in this hobby/business, and dont compromise it for anyone....
Stay safe!!!
Cheers