OK, I want to post this anonymously both for myself and the provider, so here goes…
I have a couple ATFs and have enjoyed my time thoroughly with them all, especially the one beautiful lady I have a question about.  I have seen this goddess several times and every time, my experience is through the roof.  For a while, her schedule was so full, that I would set a date with her weeks in advance.  But after a while, when my schedule was open, hers was not.  I would call, email and occasionally text, but would get no response from her.  I even contacted her from my office, and when she picked up, she apologized for not getting back to me, but that she was constantly on the go with everything and clients.  I understand that, because her reviews are stellar and I can see where she is in high, high demand.  
What I can’t understand is why no return calls or even emails.  She always complimented me on our visits and how wonderful a time she had and couldn’t wait to see me again.  I know that some say these things because it’s part of their “customer service”, but she seemed very genuine.  If she is no longer interested in me because I usually go for the 1hour visit and most of her clients spend multiple hours with her, or it’s something else, I wish she would just come right out and let me know that we need to move on and it was nice knowing you.  
I wouldn’t think that she would be so cold as to just ignore me, but you just can’t tell.  The only thing I would expect is a little common courtesy.  If it’s just not going to work out any longer, just tell me, I’m a big boy.  I have given her great reviews and would never think of doing her wrong. (hence the anonymity in this post).  

Any advice from the guys?  Ladies, is it a common practice to just ignore a guy when you no longer have interest in him?  Please give me your thoughts!
Thanks!

since this isn't the Erotic Highway board...

"I have seen this goddess several times and every time, my experience is through the roof."
Yours is. For her, even though she may not find you repugnant, it...is...a...JOB.

"What I can’t understand is why no return calls or even emails."
It's because the hook has been set, she knows you are going to be there no matter how she treats you, and all she really has to do is apoligize and make it seem sincere. You know...acting. Much like acting like having sex with you is the highlight of her week. Like you are "special" and "not like everyone else".

"She always complimented me on our visits and how wonderful a time she had and couldn’t wait to see me again."
And you expected her to say what? Your visits suck and she is happy that she can get through them? Really. Saying those things is part of, c'mon guess, her JOB.

"I know that some say these things because it’s part of their “customer service”, but she seemed very genuine."
They all say it...and they all seem genuine. It's their JOB.

"If she is no longer interested in me because I usually go for the 1hour visit and most of her clients spend multiple hours with her, or it’s something else, I wish she would just come right out and let me know that we need to move on and it was nice knowing you."
You aren't dating. It's pay for play and you are guaranteed money. If a gal told every client they weren't genuinely thrilled with the truth, how often do you think they would work. You know...at their JOB.

"I wouldn’t think that she would be so cold as to just ignore me, but you just can’t tell."
Yes you can. Think with the big head and it will sink in.

"The only thing I would expect is a little common courtesy.  If it’s just not going to work out any longer, just tell me, I’m a big boy."
What's not working out for her? She gets to persue her JOB and take all other clients, and you will still be there after a simple "I'm sorry I didn't get back to you". It's not about common courtesy. It's business...and it's working out for her just fine.

Seeing someone more than once is perfectly fine. Many of us do it. But, just as in the civvie world, after a while it gets comfortable and no one has to work as hard if you will. The fire that was there the first time or two is not quite there. See them even more often and it will even get routine.
One thing that many ladies like about this JOB is the lack of drama. They don't like it, don't need it, and won't put up with it. They get to see men who are at their best for an hour or two. (most anyway)
Once you start with the mealy mouthed nonsense of 'why didn't you call back' or 'don't you want to see me' or anything else like that...they lose even the slightest bit of interest they may have had.

It's all about the envelope.
They need what's in it to pay bills, and we give what's in it for a fantasy, and good sex.

Don't believe it? Try taking the envelope away.

Just see other people. There's no need for an "ATF" or even more comical, several "ATFs".
Just bang and boogie on. They can do it...you should to.

Common practice? I wouldn't say that it's common practice. However, it does happen. Without knowing all of the circumstances, it's difficult to speculate why she's ignoring you.

I have been known to place gentlemen in 'time-out', for various reasons. However, the largest reason is for overstepping the boundaries of provider/hobbyist. I hate to say this, but when you start expecting time 'off the clock' and the envelope disappears....so does she!  

Again, I have no idea the circumstances of your relationship...so, I'm not insinuating that this scenario fits into your situation.

Best wishes,
Paris



-- Modified on 8/14/2009 9:36:52 PM

Ouch. The new Love God.

Move on immediately.  There are just too many other fish.   If a lady doesn’t get back to you, it’s her problem and her loss and not yours.  There are just too many other choices out there to be this concerned about a lady who obviously doesn’t appreciate your business.  Move on asap.  My 2 cent.

....she might be your ATF, but I doubt you're her's. Accept the way things are or move on down the erotic highway. Better ATF's await.

I would only add that perhaps she felt you are too "needy" or "clingy" and you have made her uncomfortable.  It sounded to me that she is purposely attempting to reestablish the distance she feels is needed.

I also think that when you begin to see other ladies, you will be able to better understand how to keep the relationship comfortable for both parties involved.

I myself get carried away with a 'regular' and have to constantly remind myself of the realities of this hobby.

No matter how good it seems, if she is really interested in YOU - you will know it. For me, I have seen 2 ladies OFF the clock - that told me it was real for them... and then, the more real it gets and you start experiencing each other outside that fantasy hour or two... it fades really fast.

All of MongrMan's advice is right on - and when I find myself getting too attached to one lady; I suggest a few things and when there is no bite... I may still her, but much less often and I'm seeing others.

So, enjoy the fantasy... and remember, that's all it is.

Just remind yourself of No.1. There has to be a cazillion great providers out there you can call on to satisfy your needs.

If it's free you must be dreaming!

You have gotten yoruself in too deep here for your own good.  Obviously the provider senses your possessive or needy involvement here and has decided that it is beyond her comfort zone.

So do yourself a a BIG favor here, erase this gal from yoour memory bank and go see a dozen others.  Find someone new to replace her, but in a more healthy manner.

Dr. Phil, (aka varoom)

That she feels that she's got you hooked deep enough to "risk" losing you as a Reg with her lack of Customer Service. It's up to you as far as how much you are willing to put up with in order to see her......

Personally, when I get to the point where I'm about to "beg" a lady to accept my business (and that can come in many forms!), I shop elsewhere.....

I think alot of us would like to know the real you just so we could give you your "props"! All I will add to this, in my own "eloquent" way is....."Yeah, just what he said!"  LOL!
Great Post!

...the thread, I was thinking, o shit, here he goes again! LOL. I agree w/MongrMan...Just bang and boogie on, WTF, don't even think about it!



-- Modified on 8/15/2009 9:28:13 AM

To tell the truth, yes it hurst (as I said, I've been there) but she is doing you a 'favor' - believe me, never forget it is a BIZ!  Yes, one can grow attached to another, but keep it at arms length and you will be better off.

I do have a few providers that are also 'friends' but we both have agreed to transation the relationship to that (friends) - no biz transactions - sometimes to just works out that way so you have to decide if that is what you really want or not.

It is like everything else in life - you need to pick an choose your relationships.

Hope this helps . .

Cause you can't post twice in the same thread with two names....LOL.  
(that's why the 'angry' face...no other reason)

And yes...FWIW....I learned the hard way too.....

Just sayin'

DD

a lady doesn't return e-mails or phone calls after a reasonable time, then move on.  Plenty of other ladies who will appreciate you and your ca$h.  Remember, you are paying for the lady's time.

There is this one provider I met that periodically talks of us being together exclusive relationship in a year. I feel like I am living the movie by Madonna titled Body of Evidence. My little head tells me it is not real, and pull the envelopes and we are done, but my big head is falling in love.