Good Morning,

First of all, I wish to stay on this subject ONLY! If you wish to complain about some of us providers, please start your own post.
I don't want to get off the subject of this one.  For all of you
men that treat us ladies with respect and courtesy, I sincerely thank you. Perhaps you could teach the hobbyists that fall short in that area. I can tell you, as a provider, we do come down on a provider that behaves badly! Right gals!  I have never asked for a deposit for a date. Seems I will have to from now on when it comes to INCALL.  With about a 50% cancellation and the majority of those won't even call, text nor email! That is just plain rude and wrong, wrong, wrong!  I know many of you feel our appts.are not important and no big deal. Hey, most places charge a fee if you cancel less than 24hrs ahead of time and for sure, if you
stand them up! Then the man that acts in such a manner, gets upset because he is blacklisted. Sorry guys, we don't just blacklist dangerous men, but also time-wasters. Especially when they wish to stop by before work and you wake up extra early to shower and dress up for the date. Guys, I am asking for your help work with us, not against us. Don't you think you would see better discounts if we did not have to deal with this issue, that
doesn't even need to be an issue. How would you feel if I stood you up, after you dished out $100 for a room, and without a simple phone call, text message or email? How would you feel if you called me and I hung up on you? How would you feel if you
emailed and text messaged me and I ignored you? Gentlemen, I have been asked time and time again to have INCALL, this is the very reason I don't have it more often nor the reason, I haven't set
up a regular INCALL location. What is the point?  Ladies, I really think you should let the guys know how much this does happen. I know I'm not the only one, I read the Ladies Board. We need to work together and weed out the "rotten apples" on
both sides of the fence.

Thanks for listening gentlemen and ladies.

-- Modified on 12/31/2008 7:56:18 AM

Unfortunately, this has become an epidemic.   I guess some guys just don't comprehend the time, effort and expense the ladies put into each appointment.  To simply NCNS is inexcusable.

Most men (myself included when I hobbied) do not want to send deposits for numerous reasons. Perhaps a hybrid policy of asking for a deposit until the hobbyist reaches a certain level of credibility (board presence, reviews, references, etc) would be in order.

Sorry this had to happen to you.  I think us guys would all be surprised at how common this really is.  Your only vehicle is to pass the word amongst the ladies.

I know how frustrated you must feel. I have heard similar responses by the ladies, in the past. It is plain rude and disrespectful!

I have been very fortunate and haven't had to endure NCNS and rarely a last minute cancellation. After I screen a gentleman, I'm very clear to them that NCNS and last minute cancellations, unless an absolute emergency, will not tolerated and if this should occur...a future appointment IS NOT in the cards period!

I have a permanent incall location, therefore I'm not wasting time/money with securing a hotel. However, my incall location is appx 30 minutes from my home. Before ever leaving my home, I call the gentleman to confirm our appointment. If I get voicemail, I leave a message requesting them to call and confirm our appointment. I will not leave my home until the gentleman has made contact with me. I would suggest you take the same position, prior to securing an hotel. Never get a room until you have had contact with the gentleman just before your scheduled time. If you take this route, the only time you've wasted is getting ready....no actual monies out of your pocket.

On another note, the road does run both ways. Gentlemen are continuously complaining about NCNS providers, which I find to be utterly disappointing as well. The only avenue the gents have to share these experiences, is on the boards and through backchanneling. As providers, we need to utilize the provider board and blacklist these 'bad apples'.

The bottomline is really simple: Be courteous and respectful of others and their time. Unfortunately, many of the ones that are prone to NCNS or last minute cancellations...doesn't even read or participate on these boards. So, although it's important to share this information...I do feel that we're preaching to the choir here.

I have had to cancel before at the last minute, but offered to pay for the time anyway.  She only asked for the lodging expense, which I gladly paid.  From my conversations with her, I do not think many guys offer to pay, which is extremely disrespectful.

So sorry you have had such bad luck with some of your potential clients, Jina.  That is not something you, or any provider, should have to put up with, just ain't right.  We all know you ladies got to great lengths to prepare for our visits and for a guy to just not show up with no notice is inexcusable in my book.

I, as a hobbyist, have never done that, NCNS, to a lady and never will either.  OTOH, I have not had a lady do that to me either.

Come on, everyone in hobbyland, make one of your new year's resolutions to not NCNS anyone, so that we can all enjoy our fun.

Swim

I hear you, and I agree with the ladies comments.
From the hobbyist side, this does happen on occassion to us as well. That also is absolutely unacceptable. I had it happen with a reputable provider in my area and a member of TER. Never got a call, nothing, after I had made all the arrangements, date, time, etc. to get together.

Ultimately, this issue goes way beyond this hobby.
It happens, it seems, everywhere in everyday life.
In business, etc etc. Its a problem, scenario that continues and is getting out of hand.... Society, in general, is lacking in the respect, manners, common courtesies, etc etc..........

..it's like that. The hobby is viewed by many as just a superficial fantasy relationship with an anonymous woman, so what's the diff if they decide not to show up? Of course it's not right, but I don't think deposits or black-lists will solve a problem that is this embedded in the male psyche. You are to be used and then discarded, so is it any wonder that they don't really care?

I know that's a really dark assessment, but some guys are just that way. Unfortunately, they don't read these posts, either.

I think the 50% deposit should take care of things...Go for it.

I am very happy with the posts that I have been

reading. I am not looking to argue with anyone,

times are rough for all of us. Let us begin the

New Year with improvements in the area's that are

in need. I do look out for the hobbyists and will

give a "head's up" if a lady is not playing nice,

however, I will also give recommendations to the

ladies that have proven themselves.  Just a note,

if for any reason I must break a date. I will

notify the hobbyists, explain why and offer to

send another provider that I have already set up.

The provider agrees to honor the same donation as

mine. That way the hobbyists still has a choice,

he can either turn down the offer of another gal,

or accept it. Now, of course, it's a little bit

disappointing, but at least their trip is not a

total loss and they still have an option of Adult

good times! By the way, my back-up is Lauren, and

I think she is a great choice!

Kisses,

Jina

Your frustration is well articulated and apparently well deserved.
What is unfortunate (IMO) is that, at the end of the day, no one really cares about anyone else other than themselves. This is my opinion of society in general, and it manifests itself even more strongly in the hobby world.
While I know it is no consolation, I would really have to agree with swimtrekr and wilco69. It is VERY much indeed a two way street...and the people in the hobby "are to be used and discarded". Both sides of the fence.

While I do not know you...may or may not ever meet you...I offer my sincere condolences for what you are going through right now. Hopefully it will change and improve.

There are very few people who truly deserve to be treated badly and without respect....yet it seems to happen to all of us.
Such is the world we live in.

I wish you a happy new year...and better days ahead.

I do know how you feel. I can't tell you how many ladies have cancelled as I'm on the road to their incall. Or, they don't answer the second call of the two-step process. Moreover, for us older gents who use performance enhancing drugs, those are hard to get and are expensive so they are wasted. Doubly frustrating.

One would think a provider who has no-shows wouldn't do it to a hobbyist. I know I don't do it to a lady.

I sincerely hope your post has an effect on both sides.

BTW, a deposit is a real turn off. I wouldn't go that route if I were you.

"Be courteous and respectful of others and their time."  Yes, it goes both ways--hobbyists should respect and value providers and ladies should treat hobbyists as valued clients.

For ladies using hotels as incall locations, if you select a hotel with a 6 pm cancelation policy rather than a hotel with an earlier cancelation time or even 24 or 48 hours ahead, you are less likely to be out the cost of the room, especially if you are getting the room to see a particular guy and not for multi-dates.  If the date is for 5 pm and the guy hasn't called to say he is on his way by 4 or 4:30, don't go to the hotel, simply call and cancel  the room.  If the guy calls later--oh well, he misses out or you have him get the room.

As far as black listing NS, I agree, you ladies should do that PERIOD.  Your time is valuable!  Some guys do not realize that providers have a life "outside the hobby".

Let's all start off 2009 with a positive attitude towards each other.

Hi, Jina,
Sorry you had the problem-The hobby and life shoud be about respect and respecting one another-If some one NSNC's you, they are showing you huge disrespect and aren't worth your time -just move away from them and get the word out so they don't shaft others in the future-My advice-and I'm an 'old fart'-smile-is only deal with those who respect you and remove those who don't from your life-Life is certainly too short to deal with assholes-Happy New Year! 1rob...OUT