Posted By: Paris-Bouvier
I was cruising through another forum board and I discovered this post from 2 1/2 years ago. I couldn't stop laughing when I read it!
Enjoy!
Paris Bouvier
Here are a few things that I have learned from this and other boards about Backpages and such ads.
Ages:
18 – 23 in ad = 35 – 40 in real life
24 – 30 in ad = 40 – 45 in real life
30 – 35 in ad = 45 – 60 in real life
35+ in ad = they celebrated when prohibition was over turned
Appearance:
Hot = you need 4 beers
Cute = you need 6-8 beers
Attractive = you need a 12 pack
Girl next door = you need a bottle of Jack
Spinner = 150lbs
Thin = 175lbs
Curvy = 200lbs
Small BBW = 250lbs
BBW = MAKE SURE YOUR ON TOP
Pictures:
If blurry = she’s an “attractive” girl advertising as a “hot girl” (see above)
New photos = taken 3-4 years ago
Recent photos = taken in the 90’s
Photos untouched = wow photoshop is hard to learn
Victoria Secret / Porn Star / Playboy model = A Victoria Secret / Porn Star / Playboy model (because they all advertise on Backpages for 100 an hour)
Service:
Best you ever had = you will be disappointed
Anything you want = nothing you want
Good conversationalist = will do nothing but talk for the hour
All inclusive = that's extra
Misc:
Pictures 100% accurate or session free = pictures are accurate of someone who she has not met
100% Independent = has a “manager”
No driver = driver
100% Independent and No Driver = you pay the “manager”/driver
“I just need to run out to pay the cab” / “I forgot my purse in the car” = she ain’t coming back and neither is your money
Drug free = has her dealer as #1 on speed dial
Read my great reviews = I hope you don’t belong to what ever site I listed
Non Rushed = hurry up
What I have learned reading reviews
Average penis size = 10”
Average male stamina = 55 minutes
Average orgasms for a female in an hour = 6 (10 with DATY)
All girls love greek
All girls beg the men to stay for an extra 2 to 3 hours longer (OTC)
Every girl falls in love with every guy because they are so charming and sweet
No girl has ever faked an orgasm.
Every guy is the best she’s ever had (she said so)
All girls love greek (with how many times it's repeated in reviews it needs repeated twice here)
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