First I want to say I advertise on BP so this isn't a stab at all the ads. I understand you guys have a lot to filter through to find the gems.  Girls you should look at your ads and use this guideline ... Mine was pretty funny.  
 
I found this somewhere else and thought some of you might enjoy the comedy in it.  
 
petite - short (not thin however - some of these providers go over 200 lbs but consider themselves petite if they are under 5' 4")  
skilled - it means they will try anything and everything to avoid actual intercourse  
fetish-friendly - same as skilled  
theraputic massage - same as skilled  
new in town - just passing through (meaning... not caring about their reputation in this town)  
caramel - black  
redbone - black  
mocha - black  
chocolate - black  
ebony - black  
mixed - black  
biracial - black  
age 18 - likely a cop posting  
age 19 - an underage provider  
age 20-23 - means age 24-26  
age 26-29 - means age 32-35  
age 32-36 - means 38-42  
age 36+ - means 45-55  
BBW - fat  
thick - fat  
well-rounded - fat  
curves - fat  
nice smile/pretty face - fat  
include pictures of their feet - fat  
38DDD - fat  
hispanic - mexican  
latina - mexican  
redhead, blonde, etc. = this week's color  
the best - one of thousands  
special - we are in a bad economy, bad even for providers  
friday special - her usual price (on Thursday... it is the Thursday special)  
barbie - fake boobs  
I'm back - I hope you've forgotten by now all the rotten things I did when last time  
experienced - older by 5 years than listed age  
snowbunny - had to leave a northern town  
college coed - age 26-29 (these girls will never darken a college classroom door)  
country - ugly  
green eyes - ugly  
girl next door - ugly  
natural - don't bathe as often as they should  
friendly/down to earth - will chat you up a bit before asking for money  
best kept secret/our secret - something you will be ashamed to even remember later  
no African american men - I don't want any customer expected to use up his entire allotment of time  
princess - knows she is asking for more money than she is worth  
upscale - over-priced  
2 girls for the price of one - they are going to rob you  
I like white guys - they have money and don't take so long  
pics are real - the pictures are real... just not pics of this provider  
educated - a complete liar  
I guarantee you will come back - because I have your wallet
discreet - I don't want to get arrested again  
unrushed - I will delay, delay, delay until you are out of time  
discreet, safe location - my pimp is patrolling the area  
available late nights and early mornings - I will wake up for money  
long legs - they reach all the way to the ground  
420 friendly - she will be stoned when you get there  
I love my job - I like having food to eat  
reviewed - add 5 years to listed age  
roses - money (you show up with 150 roses and they will laugh heartily while throwing you out)