Hi, Folks,
Have been in the hobby for 15 years and see 3 girls primarily 1 for 12 years, 1 for 7 and
1 for 5- They have been wonderful -recently I came into some extra bucks and thought I
would see someone new- wrote 6 girls and they all demanded a 'security deposit' I think this is a
crock and will not prepay....this never used to happen-I feel this is demeaning and insulting and paints
every hobbyist as untrustworthy and a potential scammer-If we contact a girl, it is because we find you attractive and want to see you-I repeat, I will never pay a security deposit-Backpage says don't pay anything in advance and I firmly agree with that-ps I still have some extra coin and if you are in Tampa and provide greek and/or cim and are rated 9 or up in appearance and performance, please contact me -Thanks for letting me vent 8-)
Backpage 2nd trial 6/20/23
Are we talking about 2 backpage dot com? I was scrolling on it but all the ads look fake.
Either stick with who you are familiar with or find someone that doesn't require deposits. It's becoming the new norm. Nobody enjoys timewasters and this tends to deter that bad behavior.
Good luck
xxx
Elle Vegas The Sexy Swinger
Wasting time swings both ways. I incur about a 30% cancellation rate with providers. I've had them cancel less that an hour before the appointment sticking me with hotel bill, champagne, flowers, etc. I think the risk of cancellation is the cost of doing business. I don't like deposits. I have paid them. But if I can find a comparable lady that does not require a deposit, I'll go with her. I have never cancelled on a lady.
We need more like you who don’t cancel ❤️🤭
I paid the deposit once years ago and they took the money and ran. Providers can chose whatever policy they want and if they are still getting the clientele, good for them. I skip those that do and don’t worry about it.
Still fairly new to this but so far I have not had any troubles with deposits. Maybe my luck will run out or maybe my intuition is pretty solid. If a provider is well know with good social media presence and email communication then I tend to not have any problems with a deposit. But maybe that would change if something bad ever happens.
🧨
Im with you-maybe times have changed but the possibility of ripoff is huge
I won't see anyone requiring a deposit
It's the bad apples ( hobbyists ) who have ruined it for everyone in the bunch hence I can understand ladies requiring deposits. Not a fan of it myself but with well known and well documented ladies I never had a concern or issue.
You say that…but that’s exactly the kind of lady I had issue with. The way I see it. IE after getting ripped of is this…bad apples on hobbyist side caused it…now bad apples on providers side evens it out. End of the day, they are providing the services, we’re the paying customers. They can either adjust or they can lose out on the business if all/most hobbyist agree to just stop catering to the deposits altogether.
I have never been requested to pay a deposit, even from ladies who state in their ads or on their websites that they require deposits. If the day ever comes when I get a request, then I will politely decline. I don't have any discreet way to pay a deposit and have no interest on taking chances when my SO is the one who takes care of our household books. I get why the ladies want them, but I also get why, in a business that is sketchy at least often as not, gents would be hesitant.
You can send Amazon or E gift cards directly to an email. So it would look like an Amazon purchase.
You can purchase a visa gift card with cash at the grocery store and provide a copy of the numbers on it.
Lots of options to keep things on the DL from the SO it’s not rocket science. Where there is a Will there is a way.
Xxx
Elle Vegas The Sexy Swinger
You are correct. However, there have been times I’ve offered to send a deposit by either Amazon card or prepaid gift card / debit card and the lady refused. When they insist on using one of those apps or wishtender, I apologize for taking their time and move along. I’m not sending a deposit through an app, and I don’t even have an SO.
learned the hard way----gave in on deposits sent 2 and was ripped off both times
won't ever do it again-it's obvious there are many ladies who are reputable-It's also obvious
there are many who aren't-but I've sent my last deposit-
It certainly is not uncommon for a provider to post pictures of someone other than herself or post pics that are 15 years old - and say that they do that for "security reasons". So you arrive or she does and you are visually disappointed. You think she is going to offer to return the deposit? I think not. If you misrepresent your self and secure a deposit in advance, it increases the odds of you being accepted anyway. Ladies, do your research on the gentleman that asks for your company - deposits are a poor way to assure your acceptance. I simply wont do it regardless of their reviews.
I’ve required a deposit to book, since 2009.
QueebBia
You are an exception. If for some reason you requested a deposit - you would be the first that I would joyfully agree to send you one. You are an exception because you are excceptional. To get an opportunity to see you in it self, fully warrants your request. So I stand corrected -
I understand both sides of the discussion. While I am not one who supports deposits as I have been burned on a few occasions and vowed never again to move forward with a provider requiring them. I would rather provide a tip afterwards than a deposit upfront.
I have a couple regulars I see too and even they have heard of the scams of other providers. They also would vouch for me and provide references if I ever needed them....in fact, they have set up a couple appointments for me - with no deposit, despite it being required on the lady's website.
That being said, if you have an issue with a lady requiring deposits - then go somewhere else. It's that simple! I've been scammed and ghosted too (without a deposit). Interestingly, a provider who consistently comments on boards here in Florida and all over the U.S. constantly states she requires deposits because of cancelations, but she ghosted me on a couple occasions several years ago......so I just went to someone else.
Totally get where the OP is coming from but for a lot of new girls deposits are the only way they can survive. When you're first starting out you don't always have a hosting space and so you have to get hotels. Some us have a war chest but for those that don't literally 3 clients no showing you can leave you homeless. Just some perspective. Personally I don't see why these girls even run off with the money; it's incredibly short sighted. Not only are you losing the bigger amount that you COULD have made had you just seen the guy, but you're also going to run out of people to scam eventually. So many better ways to commit robbery smh.
One of the ladies that I have enjoyed most, and have been seeing for several years, required a deposit in the beginning. She was both well established and reviewed. Had I not sent a deposit and set up that date, I would have missed out on a lot of fun times. Of course once she knew me she no longer required a deposit. I do understand both sides of the issue but I can't help thinking of what I would have missed out on....and would still be missing out on when she returns to my area.
I only require deposits in certain circumstances. If someone is booking 3+ hours or a "fly me to you" I require a minimal deposit to set that much time aside. Also if I need to book a hotel for the gentleman (to keep his expenditure private) I request a deposit prior to reserving the room. I have been burned on a couple of occasions... I reserve a room and the gentleman is a no-show. Also if someone has booked and cancelled several times, I require a deposit to book any future times.
Generally, I have found that most gentlemen who pass my screening are reliable, and no deposit is necessary.
Lately, hobbyists have been scheduling appointments during the most demand hours of 11 am to 4 pm. Canceling or ghosting can be frustrating for providers, as it disrupts their plans to find someone to replace cancelation in the same day . Hobbyists have been frequently canceling at the last minute. Most of them comes from 411 with no respect in canceling 72 hours . Eventually, every provider will begin requiring a security deposit.
Paid deposit to a woman a few weeks back. I’d read many of her reviews and researched the reviewers . Sent her Venmo deposit and she gave me an address. On drive over asked me to pick up some things for her. Got to address and wrote her. She then asked for more money to Venmo. When I asked her to come outside so I knew it was her inside she demanded the money. I accepted the $100 loss and drove away. PS-Found her on Tryst
In my own experience I have not accepted deposits unless they have a track record of NCNSs and cancelling last minute. I get things happen and if I have something come up, I don't want to have to refund a deposit. Too much work. Plus it's hard enough to get some to verify. If a well known provider that has plenty of reviews and a good reputation, ok then. But in reality, I wouldn't do a deposit. So many things can go wrong there.
You must be a sweetheart...
But to comment on topic, the new norm is that the mandatory deposits are also non-refundable. I'm also seeing that the deposits have increased from $100ish to now 30%.
I am just sharing. I copied & pasted for your reading pleasure.
Deposits, Duh!
Yes, requiring clients to make deposits benefits everyone and we’re very happy we implemented a system that requires clients to checkout out with a deposit. We definitely believe it keeps 99.9% of the crazy nut jobs and creepy people away from the very start. If a client ever states they don’t want to make a deposit, that is a huge red flag and they should be avoided at all costs or better yet reported to us. They’ll more than likely be banned quickly anyways since they have no business being here. Once you screen your clients to a point you’re comfortable meeting them, ask them to proceed with checking out the services they’re interested in and guide them through the process if it’s their first time on the platform. The best clients understand why deposits are needed and will always be happy to pay them.
You are free to conduct your business any way you see fit-However, having been scammed twice, I'll never pay another one. Sure there are time wasters out there, and also provider scammers. If I see a provider demands a deposit, I move on and I don't think I'm alone. By demanding a deposit, you will eliminate no shows and people who waste your time---you will also reduce your profit margin-Your call and have a good weekend.
Always feel like it’s strange when men ask other men or discuss deposits with other men, those other men aren’t the ones providing the service. So I’m not sure why their opinions matter? Unless you just wanna be reassured and don’t really care what the providers think?
Most of the time all men have to do a show up. They don’t have to get ready they don’t have to get an incall they do not have to drive to an outcall.
More often than not, unless you’re dealing with really low class women, we want the money that’s what we do this for… so why would we not show up?
I think when men deal with providers that may be living in their incall, then there’s a greater risk of them scamming because they’ve got 10 other men lined up, their room is already paid for they don’t have to go get it, or worry about taking that income out of their pocket.
But for real true providers, which most of you should be able to differentiate. The deposit should be necessary. And yes, you can skip over those types of women, but when you do don’t complain about the service that you get or the quality of the woman. But a woman that doesn’t respect her time and effort enough to ask for a deposit or require a deposit, surely doesn’t care about/respect your time. And won’t respect the amount of time that you paid for.
Yes, and the men are the ones paying. THAT is why they don't have the set up, prep and all that. You're the provider. Are we supposed to come prepare the room for you? Sorry that part was just silly. Imagine hearing "all you customers have to do is show up and place your. We have to find a piece of property, build a restaurant, pay the taxes, purchase equipment and furniture, hire the staff and etc..." See what I mean? The customer isn't the one providing the service or goods. You are. Customers regularly ask each other about places they are gonna spend money. Why should this business be any different? It's called reviews and word of mouth. Why wouldn't they ask each other what they think or how the session went? Or...did she scam you after getting the deposit? Why wouldn't they ask each other that? We're paying and we want to make sure it is legit. That is why.
I agree if a girl is reputable they will likely not be a problem for scamming the deposit and I would pay it with those types of girls. I have made the point on other sites that it is the lower end girls who are the scammers for the most part. Save up more money and see the higher end girls. If I don't like the girl or I have doubts I just do not see them. I try to never negotiate rates either. Your rates are your rates.
However, I have had plenty of amazing experiences in 30 some years doing this with zero deposit in any of them. ZERO. The idea that a deposit = better service? Sorry, no. Not in my experience. I am sure many would agree.
But like I said, like, I already have a girl I really wanna see who does deposits. She has a social media presence and lots of reviews saying the deposit is fine she is not a scam. So I will pay it without hesitation.
Because. If a man goes to see someone low value……. And ignored all the signs. Then he comes here and complains about deposits, it’s gonna make men not wanna leave them at alll. When he just didn’t do his due diligence. But also I didn’t say anything about coming to prepare the room smart a**. All I asked was for consideration but your mind skipped right over and didn’t understand that part, so maybe that’s not your strong suit 
I didn’t say it equaled BETTER SERVICE. You took apart what I said and made it what you wanted to hear so you could have a response. I said higher class women require them. And those higher class women usually are better with idk. Not scamming. Your whole second paragraph agrees with that point so that third one is moot.
“Always feel like it’s strange when men ask other men or discuss deposits with other men, those other men aren’t the ones providing the service. So I’m not sure why their opinions matter?”
LoL okay. So, when you’re looking for a place to get dinner do you read the restaurant owner’s own opinion of their business or do you look for the opinions of customers? What if you need a mechanic you can trust to work on your car? Do you take the shop’s word for it or would you rather hear from other people who’ve used their services? This is silly.
I guess this is a question of policy, not necessarily service quality, so let’s use your logic and go with whatever the providers say. I prefer to listen to the providers who respect and appreciate their clients. Not all, but a lot of them say they don’t do deposits because they know lots of clients have been scammed and they don’t want to put them in that position. They screen clients so they feel comfortable and invest some trust. Flaky clients absolutely do exist and I know I’ll never truly understand how frustrating that is for you, though I do have a good idea. That’s what screening and blacklists are for. I see good, lovely women with more class than you’ll ever be able to comprehend say they don’t do deposits and never will quite often, in ads and here on TER. Some of them are even in this thread.
“Most of the time all men have to do a show up. They don’t have to get ready they don’t have to get an incall they do not have to drive to an outcall.” (sic)
If the client neither has to get a place to host nor drive somewhere, then where is the appointment happening?? LoL!! I only do incall except in the rare case I’m traveling. Guess what? I have to DRIVE myself to the incall. There have been a few times I drove an hour or so across town in afternoon traffic and got ghosted. It sucks. (One of the ladies was rushed to surgery for appendicitis so she gets a pass)
No wonder it seems like you don’t much like your job, if you think men don’t spend any time getting ready; if that’s the caliber of clients you’re attracting. I spend about an hour and a half before each appointment making sure ALL my grooming and hygiene is absolutely on point. Have YOU ever tried to shave a ballsack with just two hands? It’s not fun.
When we the clients get NCNSd, it’s frustrating and a huge waste of our time, especially with an incall. Now, you have the added whammy of having lost money if a client NCNS. That is a VERY VERY legitimate gripe. I empathize with providers when that happens, especially when it happens to the good ones I know personally. I know it happens and I hate that for you. I just ask you to stop pretending your clients aren’t expending time and energy on a session that may or may not fall apart. They’re trusting YOU and taking risks to meet you. Everyone is taking risk here, of wasted time & effort, arrest, etc. You come off as ambivalent, if not disrespectful, towards your clients and their experience.
None of that matters half as much as the rest of your post, which is what I really take exception to. Why are you throwing shade at other providers who don’t run their business the way you do? I find it humorous that you mention “low class women” because the disrespect and contempt you are showing for other providers is as low class as it gets. I have been fortunate to meet a lot of awesome, caring, classy women in this arena. Some wanted deposits, others did not. One thing all the great ones have in common is they SUPPORT ALL the other SWs. They don’t throw shade at them like you. They want the other women to be safe and successful.
I have NEVER tried and will NEVER try to talk a provider into or out of any of her policies, deposit or otherwise. I don’t try to change their minds about that stuff, ever. I have paid deposits several times. I’ve paid the entire fee ahead of time. For me it all depends on the situation and the lady. If you want deposits, fine. It’s your business. I think I understand the reasons you want them.
I do object to you saying that providers who DON’T require a deposit are “low class”, or are not “real true providers” or that they “don’t respect their (own) time and effort”. That’s pure garbage and makes you look petty and uninformed. Many high quality providers do not require a deposit.
Your comments about providers who live in their incall only shows how little you know about this industry. You don’t have a static incall. Fine. That’s your decision. What’s the point of talking crap about providers who do? Women who live at their incall are very concerned with discretion and are typically low volume. House, apartment, or extended stay suite; they all have neighbors. They don’t need a parade of clients all day long. They definitely aren’t going to pull NCNSs where they live and risk an idiot client raising a ruckus outside the door attracting attention.
You’re on here trying to convince the newbies that contacting non-deposit providers is a big gamble and that said providers are somehow inferior to those who want a deposit. Save that junk for twitter, everyone here knows better.
There is no one right or wrong answer to the deposit dilemma. Deposit or no deposit; there are good, bad, and ugly providers in BOTH camps.
I recently arranged a session with a provided posting on Slixa in Kissimmee , Fl. Stupid me fell for the scam. She insisted on Venmo or Apple Pay. We settled on Visa debit for $300.
She lead we along to an apt. Complex and had spent the debit cards and was nowhere to be found.
My first scam. Thinking about it afterwards made me realize how well thought out it was.
I’m staying in Tampa for a bit and I was able to connect with one provider. One.
The rest of the ads all ask for you to text them but they never return the texts. It’s barely worth trying.
I recently moved here from CO and have had te re-establish myself. I have seen 4 companions. 2 required deposits. Since they are based locally and very well reviewed I paid the deposits. All worked well. I would not pay a deposit to a visiting companion or one who does not have a well-established track record. It's the way of the hobby world. Adapt and thrive, find companions who dont want a deposit or stick with previously seen companions. Complaining about deposits won't cause a single companion to change her policy.
For me, I’ve got a hard, no deposit policy, but it’s not really due to not being willing to make a deposit, it’s because everybody wants you to Venmo or cash app, or PayPal them, and I’m simply not ever going to send a provider my personal contact information which is functionally what app payments do. That’s why I use P411. Interestingly, whenever it’s come up, I have offered to meet the girl the day before at her convenience and give her a cash deposit. No one has ever taken me up on it. Several have dropped the deposit requirement when I offered, though.
I agree. No deposit, hard stop! Recently had a bunch of free time so I contacted several providers to meet over the course of 10 days, 2-4 hr dates, some with dinner, one to a music venue. I have extensive history and "oks" and never canceled a date in my life, ever...but I have been canceled on last minute and a bunch of other nonsense...it goes with the territory.
Of those I contacted, about 30% were no response, another 35% were deposit in advance and removed from the list. Of the balance we either had a date or they were busy. For those I met we had a good time and mutual oks were given, one lady I saw 3 times! Two "deposit required" ladies then days later contacted me saying they would meet without a deposit. I declined one because I already had plans but went with the other which was a mistake (should of had a 4th date with previously mentioned) It was not a good time, pictures about 10 years old, low end downright scary hotel, 1 hour late and felt like an assembly line at more than premium rates....all with stellar reviews here. In the future, deposit required means walk, block and remove from the list never to be considered again.
There are many fish in the sea and I choose to swim with those swimming in the same direction. I don't pay deposits anywhere, why should I pay them to meet someone I don't even know?
The cost of rent was much lower for providers in the past. Rent is less than $1200 per month. Now, with Covid behind us, the rent has increased to $2200. When a hobbyist makes an appointment and then cancels at the last minute or doesn't show up, it can be quite frustrating. It causes pain for a provider. I believe a $50 deposit to secure a spot is fair.
To often even when a hobbyist in TER or 411 they take advantage with no show. That’s 80 percent of the guys now. While 20 percent actually shows up .