LOL, Here's another.....

One morning a young beautiful woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!".

So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?".

The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.",

goblins replies "OK, you've got it.".

Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes."

"OK, you've got that too."

"My last wish is a million dollars!" she says.

The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?"

"I'm 27", she replies

"Fuck me", says the wee man, "27 and you still believe in goblins!!!"

OK, a little long but here goes...

An Irishman is playing golf and hits a wicked slice; he gets over to the woods on the right and finds a Leprechaun unconscious with a big knot on his head.  The golfer is stunned and rushes forward to give the little guy CPR and eventually he comes awake; the golfer tells him how sorry he is, but the Leprechaun says nonsense, you saved me life.  So I will grant you three wishes.  Well the golfer feels so bad about causing the injury in the first palce, he tells him No I can't accept these gifts, it was all my fault, and he goes back to his game.  The Leprechaun says to himself, I'll give him 3 wishes anyway; I'll improve his golf game dramatically, I'll make sure he's financially well off, & I'll give him a 1000% percent improvement in his love life.
A year later, this same golfer is playing the same cousre, and once again slices the ball on the same hole, goes over to recover the ball, and discovers the same Leprechaun.  So the Leprechaun, curious how the whole thing worked out, asks him how he's been over the last year.  The golfer says he's playing by far the best golf of his life and has reduced his handicap by 17 strokes, and every time he needs money it's just there in his pocket.  So the Leprechaun asks him about his love life and the golfer says it's also greatly improved, in the last year he's had sex 6 times with 4 different women.  The Leprechaun is a bit dismayed, and says That's all?  The golfer says Well, for a parish priest in a small Irish town, I don't think that's so bad!