Personally I am not a fan of using contact pages as it may not be clear as to what is being done with the personal data that is being submitted. It could be that it is unloaded to a database for storage, who and how many eyes may see it (ex agencies), etc etc. In the majority of cases I am sure the info is not stored or used in an erroneous way, but it only takes one time to be wrong Just look at some of the agencies who have been busted and had stored client info.
Since this is a hobby, for the most part, of anonymity I personally feel more comfortable either calling or emailing to at least get a dialogue started and to set things up. This is not to say that info submitted via email or phone cant be stored, but it does make me feel a bit more comfortable.
Why do people just send an email asking for a date instead of using girls' contact page?
Most of the time, your emails go straight to my junk email so I don't see them. This is because you haven't filled out my contact page at least once. I feel bad because this is lost time for both of us. Or you may feel like I have ignored your "date" request.
We all know that previous "dates" do not have the same issues.
I realize that men are visual individuals, and many women are too. However, do people seriously just ignore what we've stated on our websites, ads, and other boards?
What would help you fellas that are not new to the hobby understand our websites?
Ladies, what do you do when you are faced with similar situations?
Bottom line: Read each Ladies individual website for everything she needs to feel safe and you will have a great experience.
Personally I am not a fan of using contact pages as it may not be clear as to what is being done with the personal data that is being submitted. It could be that it is unloaded to a database for storage, who and how many eyes may see it (ex agencies), etc etc. In the majority of cases I am sure the info is not stored or used in an erroneous way, but it only takes one time to be wrong Just look at some of the agencies who have been busted and had stored client info.
Since this is a hobby, for the most part, of anonymity I personally feel more comfortable either calling or emailing to at least get a dialogue started and to set things up. This is not to say that info submitted via email or phone cant be stored, but it does make me feel a bit more comfortable.
I personally never use a contact page , especially one that requires true names and contact info, it not a question of not trusting someone but I have no idea what will happen to that information, intentionally or not, I am not prepared to take that risk. So personally I rely on references and stay with independents exclusively. The sisterhood of indies work together and I am happy to act as a reference for them if they need it..
PERSONAL INFO ISJUST THAT >>>PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL AND THAT IS HOW IT SHOULD REMAIN
Generally with indie ladies, the contact page on a site just sends us an email. The only reason I use it is so I have the information I need upfront instead of having to ask. I can't read my pm yet, so the contact form is a necessity.
and I will happily provide any information that a lady requests, but I WILL NOT fill out a form. I have no idea where that information goes, and before I started refusing to fill out the forms, there were still times where I never heard back from the lady. Where is my information?
This and the fact that they are extremely impersonal are my reasons. I'm not buying insurance, or applying for a loan, I'm lookin' to get laid. If filling out a form is the only way to see a particular lady, then I guess I'll just have to see a different lady.
Forms are NOT the way to go. If a lady has specific info that she is requesting, within reason, simply state it with an email address to send it to.
I will copy and paste info from a ladies contact page, and through PM's, review contact info, etc, I will simply send it to her contact info.
The only type of form I have used is simply the "request a date" link on P411, other then that, if a form is the only way to see a lady, I will simply pass.
Now on a different note, a ladies safety is PARAMOUNT to me, and more to her, and I will provide adequate information to ensure her safety (I think I have the references) But my personal information is equally important to me. Lucky for the experienced hobbiest we are rather easily screened as we know what info to provide up front.
Sorry Jade, but no forms is going to be the normal reply from most hobbiests.
If a guy doesn't want to use the website screening form, which is understandable, he should be willing to provide same info in an email. As has been said, lots of guys don't like to use the contact page on a website, and I understand their trepidation.
Can't tell you how many girls have told me that they get emails from guys just asking for a date, with no info for them to screen with. Come on guys, the girls have to be safe.....
just knowing someone has taken the time to view my website and might want to meet me always gets me excited. I know that the form on my website is sitting there for anyone who wants to use it but I also give the option to communicate with me via e-mail. I want to be comfortable myself so how could I expect a gentleman to not want the same.
Most first e-mail introductions hold little info as they want to ensure that there is a real person on the other end. Sometimes I wonder if i'm not getting as cold as that damn impersonal form since from time to time I think " oh god couldn't you at least give me a date or where you found me " I miss many dates due to e-mail but I understand not wanting to give to much to a perfect stranger. I wouldn't fill out most of the forms I have seen including mine.
I will start with form, but if no response or system doesn't give a verification of receipt of form, I will f/u with e-mail. I'd say 50% of forms haven't worked. I don't take it as someone not wanting to see me. Also, email provides a for much more information about myself to give a lady more comfort about myself, references, etc. Yes there are guys who don't read everything - probably a lot.
For all the hobbyists, this question was just for my own personal self to learn how most people feel about using a girls' contact page. I respect everyone's opinion and will change a few things around in the future.
My own thoughts since I've heard from so many of you, AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I will look through my spam folder and respond accordingly. I just didn't want anyone to feel as if I wasn't taking the time to go through each individual email. 99% of everyone's issues in life are people problems.
I do ask that everyone read my website for my "dating" times and please send me the same information on my contact page. I do require two provider references or work references. Yes, there are a few girls who do not require this, however I do. There's nothing like getting an email like this: Are you available today, signed Tom? Or can I see you at 1pm? signed Doug..... Do you see how frustrating this is? This causes either one for us as girls to ignore the email totally or have to respond back with I need this or that.
FYI to all hobbyists, anyone can save your information, either email/cell/forms, no matter how you send it to them. It's up to the girl to delete the information as I do because most of you who have seen me know I don't keep that information because I will ask for your cell again because nothing is saved.
I personally designed my own website so everything is in my control. Most people who have websites designed are in control of their own information just an FYI.
I would say 90% of independent girls have control over what they have paid for as far as their website. I cannot speak for agencies.
Thanks Ladies for your response too. I too enjoy "dating" new people. That's why I wanted to see the response from everyone. Thank you too!
I too am very hesitant when I look at those "forms". Some ask for very detailed info, many are fairly generic. I have done a few over the years and I have found that after I have spent my time to fill them out, that many times they go ignored! That leaves me scratching my head.......
I much prefer PMs via TER to get things going and/or just using email.
Jade, with regards to your spam folder, if you allow contacts via email in the future, perhaps you could ask that guys to put an easily recognized thing in the subject line. That would make it easy for you to see in with the real spams. Something like "Mermaids Are Hott" or some such! ;-}
I would choose that method over any other at this time. It makes it easier to see what steps you have already taken and find someone who already knows you in most cases.
concise with his response. Haley, among other wonderful ladies I have seen, offers the best of both worlds--gents choice (a) form (b) e-mail with the necessary information included.
I too am very considerate of the lady's need for safety. Guys, if you don't want to give the lady the information she needs for her own peace of mind, then move on.
Jade, I understand the frustration as well when some guy just says "Are you available this afternoon?" Your web site in crystal clear stating evenings only.
Jade personally I would never ever fill out your contact page request (or any other ladies page that asks for the same type of information).
When I see other options avilable to make contact, I always pick that route or create one myself.
Examples: PM through the TER system, pick up the phone or send an email
if that doesn't work and my references etc aren't enough I move on
To answer your other question:
Why don't guys follow the directions on ladies site's? In my experience it's because so few ladies enforce them themselves.
Please don't take my feedback as me getting down on you...I'm not! Every lady has the Right to do whatever it is they need to do to feel safe. If this is what makes you feel safe and you stick to your guns, Good for You!
And seeing that someone has reviewed, been whitelisted by a few ladies I know very well, is extremely helpful.
I've have seen gentleman with just PMs without any other information from this site because of who they have seen. I'd rather have a quality gentleman than quantity. I just feel I need input to help me in being a better communicator with all in the future.
and I certainly agree seeing a new person is different from seeing a reviewed hobbyiest LOL
Maybe you could add something like:
If you are a TER Member with more than 3 reviews and one white letter Please PM me on TER or email me your info (of course you will have to make sure they really are who they are)
TER White List and P411 - if that's not enough then forget it. I have used that combo here in Dallas and haven't failed to get an 'OK for date' within 24 hours, usually within the hour - and that's with 20 - 25 ladies... it's the only way in my book.
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Just look at some of the agencies who have been busted and had stored client info.
