I can't imagine being a submissive myself. It's just against my nature, BUT, I sure don't mind serving my lover, looking after her needs first, urging her to have her fun whether she is on top or not. If she wants to "play" and be dominant...fine. maybe even fun? My bedroom at home is all pink and lace. When I tell my friends that, male or female, they are amazed. But the lady of the house feels more feminine because of it, and I feel like I am sleeping on her panties! I need no extras to feel like a man. All of what you asked about sounds very hot to me, but most of the time, I want a soft feminine lady, that I can treat very gently, like a flower, slowly find my way to the nectar, and pollinate at the very end after she is flowing.

I have no desire to be totally dominated but I do enjoy a lady who is not afraid to take charge and initiate happenings during the session.  I like our time together to be mutually pleasurable.  If she wants to do something, that's fine, but if I want to do something, that should be fine with her too.  I do not want either of us to be totally submissive to the other.  Just let things happen, to me it really doesn't matter who initiates what.  And no, I do not want her to be on her knees immediately.

I do think she should concentrate on pleasuring me, after all, I am paying for her time.  But, on the other hand, I, like many other guys, enjoy giving her pleasure as well.  Where I climax doesn't matter, but I always enjoy it in the party hat, but sometimes, it just ain't gonna happen.  I never know going into a date whether I will do that or have to get it some other way.

I just want both of us to enjoy the time we have together.

Swim

I love dominant women but not the kind who are mean and degrading. I do respond quite naturally to an attractive woman with a superior attitude who expects to be pleased. But she doesn't have to be mean about it because I consider it a privilege to do whatever she wants, and the nastier the better.

Nothing in the world comes close to playing the dom role to me. I have spent countless sessions with girls who claim to be submissives but all it amounted to was a little rough repositioning and some moderate spanking. It has been a waste of money and time because I don't even get good practice for when I want to try something in my personal life. With my Civie slaves, I have had more success but it has come over time, trial and error. I usually find out her pain threshold and humiliation limits are and over time I push her limits every time just a little bit more. There is no way for a hobbyist playing the Dom to fully enjoy the role if he does not know what limits to push and has to get all his jollies within an hour. Lets take spanking for example, are you willing to let a dom who does not know your limits spank you hard to the point when the skin on your butt starts to welt and bead up? Then spit on your butt and spank your wet, red, sore butt some more? Or he is choking you with both hands while you are in the subdued in mish position and there is no way that you can verbally communicate the safe word? If you do I would hope that if he does it would be on his 5th or 6th visit where he has a general idea of what your limits are and both of you are comfortable with each other.

I say don't go there with new clients but with clients that you know and have a trust with some good may come of it.


I have

and as each individual is different, from your perspective IMHO there is no one cookie cutter approach. Personally, I like to think of myself as an Alpha Male and while I have no problem with a lady going sub on me, the thought of being dominated is repugnant to my nature. Again, what floats some boats doesn't float others and I believe you'll have to figure each hobbyist out on a case by case basis  I do think that almost all men love being taken care of and catered to and you can't go wrong with that approach    have a great weekend  1rob....out.

As a dominant man...

As a dominant man, I sometimes have trouble finding the right provider to enjoy.  Its hard when seeing someone for the first or second time and for only an hour or two.  I would expect that a woman needs a certain level of trust or familiarity with her partner to let herself be truly submissive.  As one of my main reasons to hobby is the variety, many repeat encounters with the same provider is unlikely.  I enjoy spanking, greek, and being deep-throated.  Nothing abusive or crazy, but all of these activities make me feel very dominant and powerful.  Sure, they can cause some discomfort to the woman involved, but they can also be arousing to her at the same time.  So how do I find such providers?  How do I let a provider know that when she hangs her head over the edge of the bed to be throat fucked that I won't strangle her?  How does she know that when I tell her I'm going to spank her for few minutes with my leather belt that I'm not going to leave real welts that hurt or show after our session is over?  I know these are legit concerns for the ladies, but yet I am a dom and this is sometimes what I am after when I hire a provider.  Just my two cents.  And by the way, I don't always feel this way.  Sometimes I just want to lay back and let a provider give me a nice BBJ and let me relax.