A couple hours (+/-) and you'll be clicking wine glasses. Preparation time! Shower w/soap, lather up and don't forget the fine details. (Rimming is exceptional- Ass not clean, no tongue action) Shave and trim. Make sure that your genital hair is, at a minimum, trimmed tight. While you're trimming, go ahead and fetch the clippers. Trim both your fingernails and toenails. Long nails can hurt womans genitals and untended toenails can ruin her stockings.
Note: Five o'clock shadow is similar to carpet burn.

Immediately prior to tryst, brush, floss and gargle. Minty Fresh!

By now, you've communicated again and you're both excited. You know where you're going, elevator location and room number. Knock knock. Big moment. It's great to begin foreplay at the door. Prior to groping and playing tonsil tag, go ahead and take care of the "business" end and turn off all cell phones. Once that's out of the way, there should be no further obstacles or hindrances.

Pillow talk, great times! Let's remember to be mindful of the questions we ask. I can guarantee there's not one lady reading this, that hasn't experienced the following:
1. What is your real name?
2. How many clients do you see in a day?
3. Do you have a boyfriend/husband?

Bonus- Talk about other ladies, sometimes revealing their true identity and gossiping. WTF? *School children*

These 3 'very' personal questions are just the beginning of what could be a very uncomfortable situation. Ladies- I'm fairly certain the Gentlemen would rather not discuss certain things, as well. Gentlemen, voice your "Peeves Please."

Time flies! You’re a gentleman, so be mindful of her time. Gentlemen that doesn’t value a woman’s time, is disrespectful. Period. If you wish to take a shower, prior to departing, take that into consideration and wrap it up accordingly.

Ladies, this is a business, treat it as one. Your boss, nor your mother, would tolerate your lack of responsibility, untimeliness and drama. Pitiful

Be punctual. Do not be late, leave with ample time for error. If you find that you are running late, contact them immediately. Don’t wait until the start time has passed! The clock has already been running against you.(guys) If your date is scheduled from 8-10pm, it’s 8-10pm. End of story, unless she has graciously agreed to accommodate. She is NOT obligated!

Ladies- If you’re late, you are obligated to stay the entire time. If you have a 2 hr date, you are to stay a minimum of 120 minutes. Personally, if I’m late, which is rare, I totally make it up to them....plus.

I feel like I might be missing a couple of crucial points. Would you mind taking up the slack for me, please?

Paris Bouvier

Disclaimer: Any spelling mistakes in this article are all entirly my fault.
Any grammer errors spotted in this article were put there because I could.



-- Modified on 1/20/2013 6:47:41 PM