Hello all, I need some advice from fellow hobbyists and providers.
I was coming in Orlando for business yesterday and made arrangements with a provider for a four hour date. She had me verified and everything was confirmed.
My flight was supposed to land at 5:15pm and I didn't have on check in luggage so I arranged for a 7-11 pm date with the provider. She knew that I was flying in and said she had reserved a hotel about 20 minutes from airport.
However, there was bad weather in route and in Orlando and we ended up landing at 6:35, as soon as we were told to switch our phones I texted the provider that the flight had been late by hour and 20 minutes and that I had just landed and will be late. We had to wait in taxi for another 20 minutes and I had not heard back from her so I sent her another message at 6:50 updating her. Finally got out and got the rental car and was about to leave at 7:20 when I still hadn't heard from her so I called her but she didn't pick up, left a message that I was leaving the airport and I need the exact address for my gps. Texted her the same message again and finally got a text from her at 7:35 in which she sent the address of the hotel and no other messages. Once I left the airport the 20 minute drive turned into a more than 50 minute (not sure if it was the because of the weather, the rush hour or the fact that the hotel was near the Disney resort). I never text and drive so once I realized how bad the traffic was around 7:50 pm, I called her, again she didn't pick up so I left a message about being stuck in traffic. I finally made it to the hotel at 8:30 and called her, again rang for few bells then went to voice mail. Left a message, waited for then 30 minutes outside, texted and called a few more times and then left the hotel parking lot (didn't want to look suspicious) and drove around till 9:30  waiting for her to call or text. Checked my email but no message from her, so I sent her a email asking what happened ( I explained that  I realized I was late, but I did keep her updated before the scheduled appointment time and in between).
Checked my email later and then around  10:30pm, got a two liner email that I was late and she expected a refund. I emailed her back telling her all that I had kept her updated before the appointment started and then at frequent intervals, also told her that the bad weather causing the delayed flight was not my fault and she was the one who picked the hotel in a very congested area. I specifically asked her why she hadn't responded to my text and calls. Got another brief email saying "bottom line is you were late and I expect the hotel refund which is 134".
Now I am all about this being a hobby for me and buisness for the provider and I would consider a refund. But I am convinced that this is not entirely my fault, I guess I should have thought of flight delays, but I have done this before in other cities and one hour and 30 minutes is usually more than enough in usual circumstances.
So what do you all think? Should I give her some kind of refund? The reason why I am reluctant is that I think I kept her posted and she was the one who wasn't replying. On my specific asking, she still didn't tell me why she didn't call or text me. I am actually wondering if she also got caught up somewhere and didn't make it to the hotel and is now covering up. I have emailed her again, saying I will give her a refund if she gives me a proper explanation that why she wasn't calling me back and the recipt (with her name blurred) from the hotel so that I know for sure that she was there.

You did everything that you could possible do to keep her informed.  From what you wrote it seems like she was the one who was not communicating so let her eat the cost of the room.  She seems to have a bit of an attitude too.

Perhaps next time she will be more responsive to a client's communications.

Both of you have issue with the arrangement.  You for scheduling so closely to the arrival and her for picking a hotel that was evidently subject to traffic issues a good distance from the airport.  You could have picked a hotel closer to the airport if you had done the requisite research.  You pay the lady for the room for theses reasons:
1. It is not that much money.
2. If she should get in a snit over the amount, she can cause you a lot more trouble than you can cause her.
3. Most providers require non-refundable money up front for extended appointments, you could have easily been out more.
4. Her communication should have been better, but see #'s 1&2.
5. Even though this was a business arrangement, the gentleman always pays.

As for requiring a receipt...

Really?

This is not a business expense report and if you are that concerned you can verify the amount via the hotel.  You of course have no way of knowing if she actually checked in or not.  But you really want to get into a pissing match over $134?  

Take the write off of the $134, scratch her off your list and move on...

When a lady is LUCKY enough to have a prebooked Apt
with a gentleman for 4 hours,
she should have IMO her ENTIRE EVENING...
set aside for that encounter ONLY.  
As you kept updating her,
she should have (again IMO)... been thankful,
for the considerate updates & practiced her patience for...
"good things come to those who wait".



-- Modified on 6/25/2011 10:09:23 AM

Providers & Hobbyists would understand that Shit Happens.

I know this is a ca$h business, sometimes shady but it would be nice to be treated with respect and honesty.

Far too often do we read stories about this from the providers & hobbyists and its understood that both parties have a life and other things to attend to before and after but why can't we be honest with each other?

This is a perfect example where the Provider should have been upfront. If she was angry/upset which I can imagine, she should have stated so. If she was not on time herself then she should have said so. If she lost interest after all the hassling she should have been honest.  

IMO, it shows a bit of immaturity and when I read stories like this I don't understand why Providers & Hobbyist have to play games. Just be Honest.  

In this particular situation, I believe the hobbyist was honest but sadly not treated with respect. I believe, It was not the hobbyists fault and it sounds like he did everything to keep the lady up to date.
The only thing I disagree with is the texting instead of calling. I would just call but whatever I know people love to text nowadays.

Anyway, if you do compensate her for the room, you are being generous and in turn she should (or at least try) reschedule for another day/time. That would be the right thing to do (on her part). IMHO

This is what I guess one would call an unfortunate series of events...

Definitely, if you were in as much contact trying to text and call you as you did with no response, then yes, it is strange and nerve-wrecking that she was not responding back to you, and then not even at the hotel when you showed.  I do think, had she gotten the room and was there, and also gave you the address knowing you would be on your way, that she would have at the very minimum met with you at the location.  

Personally, I would have appreciated that you let me know right away of the delays and what was going on, I would have replied to your texts and taken your calls, as well as understanding that things happen...ot out of being grateful that you even booked an appointment with me as a responder suggested, but out of courtesy and good business.  

Not to say you are not being truthful, but like they say ...there are three sides to every story...he says, she says and the truth.  

About the hotel fee...she could have stayed and you could have continued with your date together.  She chose not to do that, cancelled the date without telling you and absconded.  If you can say with certainty that you did everything to the best of your ability to contact her, keep her informed and did show up to the hotel, I would say no, there is no reason to pay her for the hotel room.

If you do decide to pay her the fee, then asking her for a receipt is absolutely not the way to go.  Whether its to clear her from having any reason to contact you, or if its in your mind that its just the right thing to do,  that is something you should do of your choosing.

... and a respectful gentleman should be in contact with his date early in the day of the appointment, especially if he is traveling from a distant location with a means of travel that is not under his control. I know any professional person would expect the same of his/her clients. We are all in a biz of some type and time is money.

You prearranged for a 4 hour date from 7pm-11pm and she should've been available all the way up until 11pm and anytime from 7pm.  If she was adult enough to understand you were flying in from somewhere else she would've realized that there are flight delays.

Ok, now on to the good stuff... did you happen to fly into South Florida by any chance because I would love to MILFERIZE you...

You had her scheduled from 7-11, she claims she had a room booked, but when you called at 8:30 she didn't respond.  She should have not had anything else booked at that time, so what is her excuse for not responding?

Thank you all for your input. Wanted to update you all, after posting on ter, I emailed her again telling her that till she specifically told me why she never responded back to me, I will not pay her a refund. Then she finally emailed me back saying that
1) she was tired and was sleeping in the room. (no explanation why she just texted me the address at 7:30 and then didn't respond at all to other texts and calls).
2) still insisted that since I was late it was not her fault, she said the weather was not that bad (I guess people in Orlanda can verify that yesterday was bad weather)
3) I should have known that it takes a long time to get around in that area (two days before the date, I had specifically emailed her that the location should be closer to the airport since I will that she meets me close by and that is when she said on email that this place was 20 minutes away).
Honestly, I was getting tired by all of this emailing, but I still send her another one clarifying 2 and 3. To which she responded that she was sorry she slept, we were both at fault and that if we meet again she will make it up to me with a discount.

To clarify a few other things that other posters have commented on. The reason why I asked for the recipt was that i wanted some sort of a proof that she was there in the hotel. I am still not convinced that she was there, i find it hard to believe the excuse that she was sleeping and that is why she didn't respond to my calls and texts. How did she just wake up enough to send a one time text. She was either caught up somewhere else or maybe she was truly to tired that she slept through the night with the phone out of her reach. Its not that much about the amount of money. What really had me upset was the fact that initially she blamed me for being a no show and asked a refund without giving any explanation or reasoning that why she never was responding.

Thank you all for your input.

...she fell asleep?

Im sorry, but that is both unprofessional and disrespectful.  Especially to place the blame all on you.

Saying she was in the room sleeping, and obvious she woke up long enough to text you the address of the hotel, Sleeping Beauty should have been there to at least meet with you when you arrived.  

If she actually was sleeping in the hotel, upon waking, be relieved to have not missed the date as between the flight/weather/distance to the hotel you were not there yet anyway...and she would have been able to be up and about to continue the date once you did get there...the time for your date should have been completely blocked off her schedule anyway.

I do not blame you for being dubious about her having gotten the room in the first place.

This is definitely a rocky start.  Up to you to take her on her offer reschedule and discount your date.  You may end up meeting and have an amazing date that more than makes up for this. I hope that is the case if you do, because it would royally suck to go through something like this yet again.

Thanks Nicole, I am actually in Orlando only for3 days, headed back tomorrow and while she offered to reschedule, she never mentioned another date and time.
On a side note, have a date tonigt and super excited about it. Wish me luck y'all.