OK fellow Florida naughty people, it takes  A LOT to really get under my skin but I am totally perplexed over this situation I ran into a few weeks ago. Actually in three years of providing I have never had anything annoy me as much as this so please be GENTLE with your answers/suggestions.

I am very upfront about having an assistant-it is on my website-my auto responder on my emails state it, etc. I prefer her to handle everything from answering PMs about screening, doing ads, to actually screening-setting up the appointments... I want to just be the girlfriend/Mistress fun part not deal with the business part of my dates.

My assistant had screened a client out for a private meeting and the night before asked if we could have lunch instead during the two hours he had already left a deposit for. OK, I met him-had an awesome lunch filled with nonstop conversation. He asked to extend the date and take me shopping-PAID me for my time to go shopping & was beyond generous at the mall. We went back to the restaurant bar and we discussed strip clubs-OFF we went-again paying me more for my time although I did not even want anymore money but he INSISTED our time together always be handled as business-ALWAYS. Before we left, he asked for another date-we picked it-all set. Flirted via email over the weekend-all was awesome-so I thought!!!!!!

Because HE said to make sure its always handled as business, I asked my assistant to take care of making clear what his options were regarding time/gift etc. He emailed back that he needed to cancel because he was not ready for the financial responsibility.

??????????????????????????????????

In no way shape or form do I believe that is the truth, nor do I believe we did not click on an unbelievable level.

I would never email him to ask why-although I would love an honest answer but I have accepted I will not get one.

During dinner with a fellow provider recently, I brought this up to get her feedback. Her thoughts were he did not want to be handled by my assistant. I had not thought about that and maybe its true but why even say a reason to cancel. "I need to cancel" is really all she needs to know-who cares what the reason is.

In the last couple of days, I have had a few other guys I have seen contact me for a quote on a gift and I have sent them to my assistant. I just do not want to be involved in anything to do with the business angle. Would you prefer to deal with an assistant regarding the business part of a date so that your dealings with the provider are just about sexy fun, or do you find it too cold?

If a client says I want 2 hours same type of session-I would book it directly-no problem but its the money part of the conversation I just hate. NOTHING says GFE like BTW that will be XXX-lol. Your thoughts on why a guy would cancel and how to ask somebody to handle discussing donations with my assistant without sounding like I'm not interested in the date?

GENTLE!!!!!

than ask for assistants

Brenda - without dragging it out, you said that you both had "clicked". He very likely believed  that you would then be in direct contact with him. He doesn't know what your thoughts are regarding the business end of things are and he probably felt like he spent a lot of time and money on you to then be relegated back to the masses. This would appear to be a simple misunderstanding that you could clear up with one email - if you're willing to handle the business end with him personally.

It's .02 cents, what can it hurt?

JC

Honestly-I have thought about it many times.
I just feel it is inappropriate to contact him after he was so clear on it being business.
Unfortunate he does not read the boards-per our conversation at lunch, or I'd hope for feedback from him via this channel in a non-confrontational way.
Although in my heart, I do not believe money is any issue for him, my assistant said maybe that was his fantasy-to just be a total prince for a day and thats it.
I would not want him to feel obligated to discuss anything with me.
I am always the one to know this is a business and the guys do not want any headaches so to think I would be the source if I brought anything up-I just would rather not be the reason anybody is uncomfortable even for a moment.
I guess I'm just wondering going forward how to handle something like this in the future-there probably is no right or wrong way.
I guess I just had such a great time-to be cut off like that is just not something I have ever experienced.
PS-just received an email asking if I was looking forward to going shopping again and if that was why I was mad-(This was from a regular-trying to make me feel better saying we could go shopping)
NO-our next planned date was actually to go out on a jet ski at my house & have lunch-definitely not another crazy expensive date!
AND to make matters worse, I just remembered, I have an outfit he bought for himself to wear in my closet-tags on and all-now what do I do with that?? (yes I was told to keep it at my place on purpose)
Now I am more confused because why would a guy waste money if he had no intentions of seeing me again-silly boy...
UGHHHHHH!!!!!
xxo

Not to be rude or rub salt in....now you know how a fair number of clients feel in many cases. Sorry you don't feel you can contact him, you really should if it bothers you that much and he'd likely tell you the truth - and the truth shall set you free.

JC

I never mind dealing with assistants. Yours is one of the two best I've come across. There's more to it than that.

Actually I said to my assistant in the days after he cancelled on me-that this has made me understand some of my clients better.
I believe I have always been sensitive to others feelings-even if I felt they were misguided.
Nobody wants to feel disregarded-even in play for pay situations.
xooxox

There's three types of scenarios in this thing of ours.
1. Agency. You know up front you are dealing with a third party and make arrangements like any other business deal. Facts, appointed dates, simple.
2. Pure Indies. You know you are dealing directly with the person you have seen / will see. You know your messages are going directly to them and the responses are coming directly from them.
3. (and the WORST one) Bookers. You're dealing with a person who does this for a paid living and tries to blur the lines...if they feel like it on that particular day. Your messages don't go to the person you were intimate with....they go to some booker who deals with many of these every single day. Your responses come from that very same, overworked, booker who's only motivation is to get you to book again.

Here's a huge shock for some women....but some of us guys like the fantasy. We know the deal, we know what it is, but don't mistake that we don't know what it is.
With that said....we don't need it thrown in our faces.
We're the ones who 'provide' the funds for nice cars, apartments, vacations, etc.

There used to be appreciation for this, and indies running their businesses like a true business....marketing included.
Now we have women who can't be bothered for their multiple 100s per hour, to actually take part in that time. Just slough it off to an assistant and show up with the golden pussy at the appointed time....do their thing, coldly, and boogie on.

In short....the guy boogied off because he thought he made a connection (which he paid for) and you couldn't blow him off fast enough to pass him off to your assistant.

Just sayin'
DD

OUCH_DD!!!!
Now although I know I put it out there so I can expect any type of feedback-from nasty to sympathetic but maybe you missed the part that he reminded me it was business.
That I was trying to respect his wishes?????
I was about as cold to this guy as I was to you...
meaning not at ALL-unless I missed something??????
And you know VERY well SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many "indies" have assistants that handle everything and the poor guy THINKS he is dealing with the girl-meanwhile its an assistant just trying to get the guy to book again.
Maybe silly me, for being upfront and being truthful that its not me handling the business part of it and being honest about why.
How many email exchanges have you and I had????
There is NO way I believe you would feel like I was only trying to pump out that next visit with you????
ANYWAY-I will take your response as to suggest I should have quoted him directly????
xooxoooxooxox

Thank you-Beth is a total gem!!
I hope since you obviously have already dealt with her-we will eventually meet!!!
Maybe PM me if we already have something scheduled so I know who you are!!
xoxooxo

I recently had a very unpleasant experience with an assistant who said I was good to go for a session and then returned to castigate me for not following instructions and filling out the proper forms. I told her to cancel the session and promised not to bother her again. Never did get a chance to converse with the provider herself who I really wanted to see as I thought we would "click" quite nicely. Oh well. Life and other things are a bitch.

If I invested that kind of money I suppose I'd expect to be given the green-light to bypass the assistant after that.  It would've turned me off too.  Completely.  Especially if that "click" was there as you said it was.

I've yet to have to go through an assistant but it wouldn't bother me too.  I have been approved by one for an agency but haven't booked a date yet.  It was easy to deal with her but once I inquired about an early morning date and she responded that I was making an "unreasonable request" (I asked for 7:30 am).  A little abrassive I thought.

Did I miss something or was there never any playtime on that date?  He did all that and no playtime?  Now that's messed up!!!

I think you should contact him.  If it were me and you took the time to get back to me to try and work it out, I'd appreciate that.

... the guys who want to know why provider X did this or that.

ASK HIM.

Nobody here can give you any insight, just a bunch of wild guesses and asinine assumptions. That includes you and your assistant.

As for the use of an assistant, no big deal to me, but it will be to the guys who want to believe this is more than a business transaction. No right or wrong, just like with about all these questions of this nature.

are afraid to deal with assistants. You know the type, they use alias names.

-- Modified on 8/27/2012 11:06:01 AM

I appreciate it is a difficult choice for you guys to pick one lady from the dozens of choices you have daily, send your info-wait for the response-wait for the date-hope big Bertha does not open the door instead of petite Peggy, or that the real Petite Peggy actually opens the door but she is a bitch-just lays there-tries to rush you out-answers her phone, does not offer what you reasonably expected-all that is a lot of time, energy, and money to be put out on something you just wanted to enjoy.

I guess because I came into this business as a "want" rather than a need, I have always been very selective about who I will see. I do not care how much money a guy has, if I do not think it will be pleasant for me I will just stay home.

I have a regular business that is how I make my living-NOT this business so loosing a client here and there who I would not have truly had fun with is not something I worry about-again because my bills are NOT paid via this choice of a career. My assistant allows me to be safer than I could possibly ever be by myself but also over the last couple of years THANKFULLY my other business has become beyond busy. I absolutely could NOT do this job without her. I try and keep things in perspective-yes I make much more money being a provider but this is short term and my other business I can continue to grow and pass to my children. Maybe if I had started this at 20 I could be retired by now but that is not the case-and my other business is my passion and would probably still do it even if I won lotto.

I'm sorry for anybody who cannot understand why in my business I MUST use an assistant but all of us must run our businesses in the way that works for us first.
I would not be able to see anybody if it was not for my assistant-I just do not have the time or privacy to screen new lovers and again I just feel safer with her and do not want to know about the boring stuff.

There are plenty of ladies who have assistants that pretend to be them, if that is good for them-that is their business to do so, but because I refuse to start a date on a deceitful note-should NOT mean I am not the FULL FANTASY girl once that door opens and our date begins.

I appreciate and respect men too much to not be on the level right from the beginning with them. Maybe TMI-but in my case I'd rather loose an appointment than get one on false pretenses...

BTW-I was sooooooo mad last night that I did contact the gentleman who this all started over as well as another man that was the reason I let this effect me so much, one all is better and understood-and the other yes was offended dealing with my assistant.

I can't win!!!!
BUT at least now I feel 10000000% percent better!!!!
xooxoxooxoxxo

As in independent provider for over ten years, I have always enjoyed the interaction with my clients as well as the security knowing with whom I will be meeting.  Managing my own schedule is also a bonus. I knew many ladies with assistants. I knew why they did - most for verifying/screening and others for lack of time due to jobs or family responsibility.

Recently, in an effort to broaden my services and not tour as frequently, I have been working as a personal assistant to a few select ladies. They are brand new to the industry. I provide them with personal assistance from everything regarding scheduling, verifying, travel, personal makeovers, photos, etc. It is exciting for me and them as we venture new areas.

I know that gentlemen prefer interaction with the actual girl they will meet. I respect that. I do my best to talk to the gentlemen, communicate with the gentlemen, and give them the personal attention they deserve. If they want to speak to the lady herself, I will arrange that!

Regarding fees, etc....well, if a lady entrusts her assistant to handle that aspect of the encounter, than you should respect her decision. Whether it is right or wrong, or you feel comfortable or not, it is what it is.... Personally, I discuss that on behalf of the ladies I screen for but they ALWAYS are informed of the conversations and it is their decision. This of course, takes into consideration that you are not negotiating. If the rates are listed or discussed beforehand, then this should not be an issue.

Hope this helps.
Sexy Toni

-- Modified on 8/27/2012 12:01:55 PM

I would rather spend my time and money with a lady that appreciates on a gut level what a hobbyist wants and needs, AND personally invests in making me happy partially because maybe she HAS to to make it financially, and partially because she enjoys making me smile. Few women in this area are as "blessed" with a golden pussy, maybe there are more but I am just a middle class working guy that won't pay $$$$$ just to fuck a women with an attitude!
I personally have dealt with assistants, but they were so sexy and sweet on the phone I would usually end up asking if THEY were available. I really don't see a need to be nasty, I don't know brenda nor have I tried to contact her, she's a little too rich for my blood.

... sensuality64 before. Did the other kids give you hell growing up or is that possibly an alias too?

I have a theory but it wasn't clear from your anecdote about the first date as to whether any intimate fun had been included. You mention lunch, shopping, strip club, but was there any bedroom fun as would be expected?

Regardless, I have a feeling that somewhere in the intermediary handling, he might have felt that he was starting over, considering how you wanted things spelled out quite succinctly about time and cost and your assistant may have said something like "brenda wanted to be sure you were aware......" which he might take as a message that something wasn't right about the first date.  By taking you shopping on a first date, its quite clear to me that he was looking for more of a sugar baby relationship, not a pay-by-the-hour escort because going that far with an escort on a first date is pretty unusual I would think.    He obviously had no problem paying you as you went, but was perhaps put off by the overly business oriented manner after having a great time in a more spontaneous manner.  It wasn't about being pressured financially because he could obviously afford it.  It was about ruining the illusion of being your boyfriend.  I had a sugar baby type relationship once and although her motivation was clearly about the financial assistance, there was never any thing remotely business oriented about it.  I think you may have misread some of his signals.  Regardless, it may have been a good thing he did not follow through as his expectations may have been outside of your boundaries anyway.  

Or maybe it was either your or your assistant's interpretation that he really wanted your No Clock Date and was put off by the fact that you actually DIDN'T appreciate his spontaneous manner such that the message was interpreted as HEY DICKHEAD! This is the way it fucking works if you want to do that again!
http://mistressbrendaboobies.com/Mistress/basic-bio/newhungry-horny-shooting-stripper-fun/

-- Modified on 8/27/2012 9:34:40 AM

lady for the first date, I will deal with her assistant.

For any future dates, if the lady will not deal with me directly, then there will not be another date.

Several bad experiences with assistants. (1) assistant gave me the wrong room number. Talk about awkward calling her back. (2) assistant changed hotels twice while I was enroute to the provider's incall location.

Not my choice!

Weather I deal with an assistant for the business side of the hobby or not.  So if the provider has an assistant I will deal with the assistant as she wishes.  I have changed my mind about seeing a provider due to an assistant's rudeness on the phone.

It's pertinent. I want sensuality from my contacts here and born in 64. Ill tell you my real name if you give me some pussy though brave one.

-- Modified on 8/28/2012 6:52:21 AM

The reply was about people who contact a provider and are afraid to give HER their name and try to use an alias. READ THE POST. But since you mention it, you saw yourself in what I wrote. What does that say about you? Like I said, offer me some pussy, you get my real name, and I'll bet you have one too but not really one I'll want.

-- Modified on 8/28/2012 1:35:34 PM

I'd offer you my "pussy", but I dont advertise on BP, do 30 min quickies, or charge less than $200 like the winners you obviously prefer. I'm way out of your league, old timer.