I just had an appointment today to spend a couple hours with a provider and after spending all the time showering, shaving, double brushing my teeth, and driving the 40 minutes there she gives me final directions, she opens the door and just says she's going to "pass".
I had just shaved and brushed my teeth, so I'm sure it wasn't a hygiene thing. I was wearing slacks and a button up shirt (top button unbuttoned and no tie) so it's not like I looked homeless.
I suppose it could have been because I'm 26 and now that I think of it I didn't specifically mention it to her, but even her web site says she just cares about level of maturity more than age.
It's just such a blow to the ego.
What a cold-hearted witch. Just can't understand some members of the human race. IM me with her name.
DANG guy...while everyone participating in this certainly has a right to take a pass, it would seem that at least some explanation from the lady would have been in order.
No doubt about it, that's cold...
Yea, she told me she was going to pass and I figured I had two choices. Get out of there and not cause a scene or ask her why and push the issue. I figured I couldn't trust her answer anyway and if I came off as too aggressive then it would've made the situation a million times worse since you never know if they have some kind of security next door just waiting for shouting.
....she give you any explaination? Email or call her about it. She shouldn't have wasted your time that way. If you get no response, I would post her name, she can then reply if she wishes.
In the future, since you are younger than most hobbyist, always let the providers know you are 26, some really don't want to see guys under 40....THERE is a Reason. As you have more reviews & ladies references, it will not be a problem, but save YOUR time, & tell them your age in the future.
my .02.....
Perfect gentleman in every way and fun to be with. Next time please use me as a reference. I will check to see if I gave you a white list.
Kisses Haley
She obviously was not happy and had she gone ahead and gone through with the date, you can bet that you'd have gotten her D-Game and gone home disappointed.
A wise hobbiest once said, "If a date starts out on the wrong foot, it probably won't be able to be salvaged...."
She wasted your time-I'd just chalk it up to a 'bad apple' and move on-there are so many wonderful ladies here on TER that would NEVER do such a thing-You did nothing wrong-Her bad-Have a nice week and keep on hobbying. Later, 1rob
Are you sure she wasn't here a little early for the Fetish Con, and she thought maybe she was supposed to degrade and humiliate you?
Just kidding, sorry about your experience. It shouldn't happen....ever.
I always brace myself that the door might get slammed in my face when she sees me. Not the Elephant Man, but not Brad Pitt either.
Let's get it out. Your post was fine. Others have a right to know and she has a right to rebut. We can keep it civil and all learn from it.
When I met you recently, you were beyond a true gentleman. You did everything right and I white listed you.
I am really sorry this happened to you and it should not have happened.
Sadly you didn't use me as a reference or she never followed through for me to know who this person is, but you did not deserve that at all.
Guess I need to get over your way real soon and I will gladly take what she missed out on..
Keep your chin up,
Makenzie
Never happened to me, but I hold my breath each time I meet someone new, praying that she won't run away screaming. But just move on to the next
lady and don't give that one a second thought.
Sorry this happen to you. You seem like a nice guy. Regardless if she didn't care for your age or looks she shouldn't have acted in this manner. There are so many unique and special women that you can chose from and you picked her specially. Her loss!!!
I think that she ought to have at least offered a reason. Maybe she freaked and thought you were LE.
It couldn't hurt to contact her and ask why. But I do agree that you are probably better off not seeing her. Sounds like it was HER loss.
Just my 2 cents.
Thanks for the responses everyone.
I've sent her an email asking if she could give me any explanation. I figure I'll wait a day to see if she responds and post her name.
alone would be enough to tick me off
I mention an age minimum on my site. Unfortunately, that's the only indicator concerning maturity that is mentioned. Most of the time, it works fairly well. He did not mention his age on the phone however. I do not have website screening like some, which would have precluded the appointment.
He arrived at the designated corner near my incall. We spoke and I gave him the same directions I have given for a year and a half. There were problems with him following the directions, which to his credit, has happened before but not quite like this.
When he arrived at my door, my gut told me not to take the call. My intuition was based not mainly on his age which was not even close to 35, nor on the problems arriving at my location but on his body movements. My perception was this could possibly be a situation that was a threat to my safety. I'd rather not risk that again.
After meeting him at the door, I don't think I could have provided him the same level of service others have experienced even if the session turned out well. I am not a robot and I enjoy what I do and would like to keep it that way. I apologize to those that disagreed with my choice but I stand by it.
Cheka, your website FAQ says:
"Do you have a minimum age requirement?
I prefer gentlemen be at least 35 but if you have reached a desirable level of maturity I will reconsider."
This does not state that you have an age requirement, but the OP should have read that section of your site and pointed his age out to you during the screening process.
While I understand and agree that you must do what you feel is safe for you, I think if you had taken the time to screen him properly, you would have had no problems. He has reviews and references. You have to understand that we guys take a chunk out of our days as well to prepare for and make these appointments.
SFG
as mentioned in another post, him leaving marks in the gravel was not "a desirable level of maturity" by any means and such information could probably not been gathered from screening.
Also regardless of screening, I highly doubt that could have predicted his erratic, jumpy behavior when he arrived. Past proper screening did not preclude a previous appointment with a TER member that turned violent.
I too took a chuck out of my day that day for that appointment as well as prepared my location and myself and also turned down another appointment for it.
First, I'd like to apologize for any marks left in your gravel. I didn't hit the gas or brakes while pulling up or leaving but due to the nature or gravel I can't say for certain that you couldn't tell a far had been there. It's definitely not the situation that comes to mind where I was doing hard and fast turns in your driveway.
The directions you gave me weren't a simple turn this way on a numbered street. And when I went to leave that intersection I was facing the wrong way and got caught at the light. The street names aren't easy to remember and I wanted to confirm while on the phone with you. Especially since I can't remember the three street names you gave me, which way the road veered and all those other details about which of the two or three doors. You have to understand us guys have some anxiety tight before a meeting along with trying to drive and remember directions.
The age thing I should have mentioned earlier and ill male sure not to make the mistake again.
The part about my body movements just blows me away. I believe every one of ladies has the right to cancel an appointment if you don't feel safe. But from the time you opened the door to when it was shut was pike 15 seconds and the whole conversation was, "hey" with a smile.
We can both agree that the appointment wouldn't have been enjoyable for either of us, but I'm sure you can imagine how frustrating it is to spend time getting ready and traveling just to turn right back around for no reason.
In a year in half no one else has done what you did to the gravel. I watched you drive away and wasn't happy with you gunning it when you reached the street either considering all involved in this hobby should be discreet. Both lacked respect, discretion and maturity.
I do understand potential anxiety on both ends in this business but what I saw and sensed from you at my door were outside of the usual and made the hairs on my arms stand up.
I'm sure you can understand how frustrating it is for a provider who states publicly no one under the age of 35 unless a desirable level of maturity has been reached to have someone way younger than that show up at her door with no previous mention of his age. There's a reason that was stated and your behavior is exactly that reason.
This is a business for us ladies with many of us depending on this income to pay our bills. We do not want to waste time-our own or others especially when we could be making money. That time is not our free time-we're on the clock.
Anyone in their right mind isn't going to let someone in the door that she thinks could be a danger. It's disappointing that you still think what happened was for "no reason" especially after hearing my side.
So now I not only made marks all over your gravel, but I was also speeding out of your neighborhood?
I meant "no reason" because that's all that you'd give me. You showed no signs of being sorry of canceling our appointment and wouldn't give an answer when I emailed.
I can't speak for everyone but I don't think they disagree with your decision, just how you communicated it. Someone sent me a pm and made a good point, if the roles were reversed everyone would say the lady is entitled to a cancelation fee. Obviously the dynamic is a little different but I think most guys would be happy enough with an, "I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable." Or "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were so young".
I don't know that you sped out of my neighborhood. What I do know is that you gunned it when you put it in drive once you were on the street, as I stated.
You claimed in one of your posts that you had 2 choices, one being NOT to cause a scene and you gave everyone the impression that you didn't. In another post after I called you out on the gravel, you apologized for that. So which is it?
In your 9:44am quote you stated there was "no reason" for me turning you away even though several points were already made which btw, why do any points have to be made? Hobbyists have been known to decline a date upon arrival. What's the difference? Let alone the safety factor.
Also, I can provide the email exchange between me and him that will disprove his statement that I wouldn't give him an answer when he emailed let alone the fact he already admitted in this thread I did so.
Every single person I've talked to that's been aware of the facts has agreed with my decision.
Her reply was simply, "You worried me."
I'm not sure if that means she thought I was LEO or that she was physically intimidated (which would surprise me, I'm 6'4" but just shy of 190lbs).
The lady's name was Cheka for those who are interested.
the marks you made in the gravel by the driveway when you left (apparently very angrily) were not cool.
You are not the first I've 'passed' on. The last gentleman who looked about your age-early 20's, also had the same problems following my directions. I've also passed on a few gentlemen after reading their reviews-not just the given numbers in comparison to the numbers other reviewers give but specific comments and even word choice.
It looks like she did you a favor
and ladies have the right to cancel anybody they don't feel comforable with for any reason