I’ve done a bunch of soul searching lately as this milestone has been approaching. Generally speaking the hobby is exactly what I needed. I needed more sex. I really needed a blow job. These needs were not being met at home as my wife developed some health issues back in 2002. Her illness, the daily medications, and the depression that followed, has limited our sex life to special occasions. The desire to see an escort had been brewing for 6 years. I first stumbled upon TER while I was in Vegas on business back in 2005. Even though I knew it was the answer to my problems, it still took me 6 years to convince myself that it was okay.
Thanks to all of the guidance and help I received on these boards, I have had a very successful year. All of the well reviewed ladies I’ve met have been true professionals and I’ve enjoyed many hours of sexy and discreet playtime. I experienced my first of several doubles, and participated in a larger group party. Like everything in life, I have had a few bumps here and there. I’ve made a few mistakes along the way, but I’m learning a lot about myself. I feel like I’m going thru a mid-life crisis. I’ve spent the past 10 years consumed with work and making sure my wife and kids were happy. I’m just now coming to grips with how I feel about my situation at home. After several long discussions at home, it doesn’t appear that my sex life is going to get any better. Since I’m not willing to go w/o it, seeing providers is the best option for me. Btw, my wife suggested a sex doll! That pretty much sealed the deal for me. So, I approach year 2 with a little less guilt and a little more understanding of how I tick.
Anybody else go thru some ups and downs during their first year of hobbying or providing? Does it get easier? Do things become clearer or just get more confusing during the following years? Oh, and keeping this "Florida" related, I feel very fortunate to be here in Florida where there are so many great girls.

Edited to add EOM.

-- Modified on 2/27/2012 12:45:45 PM

I found that as I gained experience in the hobby that with every new encounter, the bar kept being raised. Each time I thought I had found the ultimate experience, it was bested and I wondered somehow if I was ruined or jaded by what was happening to me.  Because of my hobby life, I easily approached and dated girls I never could have gotten before, even though I am far from a good looking man.  But in both the hobby and civie worlds, I found myself chasing the holy grail of encounters and was often left disappointed when I fell short of that Utopia (which we all know, doesn't really exist).  In short, hobbying and dating became mundane. I took a break from both.

It wasn't until I learned to savor each lady based on the package of her individual talents, looks and personality that I came to find great pleasure in each encounter. Many of my recent encounters have set new personal highs in performance and pleasure. My first foray back after my hiatus was with a mature provider and was off the charts (yes you, Allie). I was shaking like a leaf before hand, but left totally satisfied and on cloud nine.  My most recent encounter will be talked about for the ages.

I know this doesn't address your post, but they are my musings about the first-8th years of hobbying.  

All so true ! My start was when my second wife died in a private plane crash 7 years ago !
O so tentive at first and bolder and bolder as time healed the wounds

Yes I am still timid but enjoy TER and and a few other local sites and have meet several ladies  on these sites!
At my age a civilian lady will not meet my needs ! So here I am and well be !

Thank you to the ladies I am honored to call friends !

I know several guys in your position regarding sex at home, and their desires.  Being single, I did not have that problem, but not being a real forward guy when it comes to picking up ladies, my sex life wasn't very good either.  The ones I would have a hard-on for would probably not give me the time of day, much less go out on a date, and/of fuck n suck my brains out.  So I just looked and dreamed, until I took the first plunge into the hobby.  Needless to say, I have not looked back, and have no regrets.

I have learned a lot in the 8 years I have been a member of this board and in the 6 years since my first hobby encounter.  Fortunately, I have had few bumps in my hobby road, mainly I think because I have been diligent in my research before approaching someone for a date.  For the most part, the ladies I have spent time with have been wonderful.  Even the few that weren't wonderful were pretty good experiences.  They were all learning experiences......

As a moderator, and now, host, I am trying to help those starting out to have great times.  Hope I am succeeding in some way.  I, like you, feel very fortunate to be in Florida where we have a wonderful supply of terrific providers.  Thanks girls.

Swim

recognized the value that providers bring to the table.

I too thank the many wonderful ladies who have helped brighten my life.

Play on.

I have a similar story for my own hobby experiences and quite honestly have found safety and happiness in the Hobby for over 20 years now.  

With that in mind and the thought process you have used I believe you to will be reflecting back one day as I do today.

I have meet may wonderful friends in the hobby world and quite honestly ones I share my daily life experiences with.  In other words TRUE friends who are for lack of a better definition a support group not only for me but we are there for each other.

These friendships may have begun as a monetary transaction and that part is what keeps us from crossing a line for the hobby experience that we all need, but the friendships are no longer dependent on the cash transactions.  They have become true friendships with kindness and caring.

Bigpart52

I hear you and can relate, it took me almost 15 years to start my new hobby.

Jarhead

I started the hobby in 2004 after dealing with many of the same issues that you are dealing with. I experienced some incredible feelings during the 2 year period I played. I retired in late 2005 so I could focus on marriage and her health problems. Unfortunately, her mental issues got worse and new problems arose and I found myself fighting for my own sanity.

Now divorced and VERY TIRED of the dating world (does every woman have to get married TODAY!) I find myself tiptoeing back into the hobby. I love women, I love dating, I love sex, but I don't like the endless calls the following days after wanting to know everything that is going on in my life. Not because I don't care, but because I'm not ready to be back in that relationship. I am healing and the hobby hopefully will allow me to meet the primal needs once again while I try to balance everything else going on around me.

I had some really cool friendships during my earlier playing days, I actually enjoyed the phone calls from some when we weren't "visiting".  Friends with somewhat expensive benefits  These friends appreciated my intellect and I provided them a safe environment to grow. They in turn offered up very personal sessions that made me feel intimately like a man...   how can you go wrong? Right?? A non intimate marriage is painful!!!!! Sex is not intimacy.... it is part of, but not all!

Anyway, I hope that your hobbying stays healthy and safe. It can be a real benefit if used properly... all the best on your family and life...