we've all read reviews wherein the gent has judged a lady to be "having an off day"...perhaps she's distracted, a bit mechanical and not really "into it", or maybe just a li'l rushed.
we've also read non-reviews wherein a gent grumbles about a lady canceling on him...perhaps with a lame excuse, perhaps not, and maybe even at the eleventh hour.
neither is a good situation, obviously! i'd like a little feedback on which the guys feel is worse: a lady canceling a pre-booked date when the day has arrived, or the lady showing up at less than 100 percent? me personally, although i hate to cancel, i will opt to call off the date and disappoint in the short term, rather than go through with it in a less than stellar fashion...i feel the latter creates a more lasting disappointment in terms of bad memories and a lighter wallet.
Honesty is the best policy and it is so hard to get! I try to be honest to a fault in my reviews, and what I portray myself to be. I don't hide behind fake names or id's, don't send a picture that isn't really me or current, and don't try to act like a pornstar. I have as much to lose as any other gent, but maintain a self pride that will not allow me to be a coward! That being said......there should be an honest excuse, and not an obvious lame one. Or an honest effort to explain that you will try, but aren't feeling up to par, and allow the gent to decide. If you have a repeat relationship with the gent, it won't hurt AT ALL! It should strengthen the relationship. I have experienced all the emotional swings of my ATF, and I like them all! I see her as a delicate woman who SHOULD have good and bad days, and have no problem wishing her to recover with a gentle kiss goodbye. I don't even have a problem paying the light bill during bad times, although I have never been asked, but sometimes insist. I'm not trying to brag ...just hope it helps.
A ladies reputation has a lot to do with it. I have had ladies cancel and some we just mutually agreed to cancel after discussing and knowing she would not be at her best. It happens sometimes. However, a lady known for not keeping appointments is marked off the favs and into the do not see list.
Being an older gent I do think a lot of young ladies when first starting do not know how to be on their game with an older guys in the beginning. Both parties life experiences are diverse and some know how to have sex, but not necessarily how to sensually encompass the encounter.
The cancelation, however please don't wait to the last minute. Some gents have to go through a bit of trouble to shut down a reason for being gone for the day! I have had cancellations after being on the road for 2 hours. Maybe we have already taken the little blue pill, that is a real pain!!! I would much rather have pleasant call with enough warning, and reschedule date with I really want to make it up to you "baby".
IF you have made a commitment & the time arrives to fulfill it... compartmentalize, "suck it up" & do your job. It's not called work for nothing.
Not feeling like it is not an acceptable excuse to cancel at the last moment.
Just my 2 cents.
Edited... I looked again & notice it's a question for the gentlemen. Sorry if my reply is unwelcome. It's still the way I see it.
I remember just a little over 6 weeks after my dad died... I had to work because... I had my 1st call since he was gone prebooked for when I THOUGHT I would be "up to it". I went through with it... he never knew I was in tears 10 minutes before he walked in.
I felt better that I did the call for every reason.
a great experience with someone I had not seen before who cancelled on me previously-2 cancellations in a row will put that person on the 'do not ever call' list-Again, sometimes things come up...like the monthlies, sickness in the family, etc-and I have no problem with that-especially when the cancellation explains the problem and asks if you'd like to reschedule. A cancellation with no explanation is IMHO bad manners and disrespectful-We guys want to see you at your best and if you are indeed not feeling well, then I personally would like you to put our meeting off until some future date-good subject, J
For many of us hobbyists this is the highlite of our week. Just as for the provider who has to put great effort into preparing herself as well as spending on overhead costs like advertising, hotel, condums, transportation, etc we as hobbyists go through the same hassles. Taking time off work which costs money right off the bat, creating an alibi to avoid getting caught by the wife or SO, finding parking, paying hundreds of dollars per hour. For many of us this is the only good sex, affection and warmth we may feel for weeks so if the girl is not performing up to expectations then I certainly am not returning. This is what we pay you for. To make us feel good. I will admit that I had great times with a particular girl. You could say she was my ATF. After dozens of appointments, overnights, dinner dates she started to slip up. The first time I chalked it up to her having a bad day. The last time I saw her, she was cold, distant kind of rushed me out the door, claiming that she had a bad back and ran out of painkillers. I found another and never looked back.
So to answer your question. Cancel on us, tell us that you simply dont feel good. We will understand and go to Plan B. There is nothing worse worse than getting rushed out the door after a bad experience and wasting $$$-$$$$$$ in the process, where you had such high expectations. Well, maybe Death, getting audited, your team losing the superbowl, STDs, highschool aged daughter getting pregnant by same aged crystalmeth addict, food poisoning, you get the picture.
If she's not up to it and we end up having a below average session, more than likely that'll be the last. But if she re-schedules when she's raring to go, more than likely there'll be a repeat. It would actually pay off on the re-scheduled visit I think. Then I'd know she's really ready and possibly even give a little extra to make up for the previous cancellation.
Hell who doesn't call in sick to work once in awhile, both when you really are sick and when you just don't feel like putting up with the bs that day? I call sick days "sick and tired" days.
if your not all there you be the judge. I would be able to enjoy a 70% day if you warned me up front and even out the money part. If you just do not want to have a visit then cancel. If it is a monthly thing give the client the choice, if it does not bother you. But the worst thing is to wait till the last minute to cancel or let them show up and it is obvious that your not in the mood.
When I've ladies cancel, if they offer to rebook soon afterward, I'm more likely than not cool with it, especially if we've met previously. Not so for a first meeting.
As for ladies being off, both times that happened where it was egregious, the lady communicated the next day to apologize, and offered to make things right that evening. She fulfilled that, and...all's well that ends well.
............ i'd like a little feedback on which the guys feel is worse: a lady canceling a pre-booked date when the day has arrived, or the lady showing up at less than 100 percent? ........
I agree with some who replied they'd rather go on with it since schedules, alibis, time off, travel expense, blue pill, etc. may have already taken place. With that said, communication would go a long way. I've only cancelled once due to an illness (flu) but I wasn't about to pass that on to someone just to get my rocks off. I let her know the day prior and all was well.
At least I'd like the option of either going at it with someone whether 100% or not, excluding illness of course. If it's just the "bad hair day" that we all get from time to time or just simply not in the mood, that's really not good business as one could suck it up for the appointment and go back to where you were mentally afterward. No one is 100% all the time but if we've already made all the necessary arrangements I'd have the common courtesy of fullfilling my committment.
Communication is the key and as much time in advance is best for all concerned.
have the lady cancel than go through with the date if she is not 100% mentally or physically. I have had ladies cancel because they were ill or had a family emergency.
The one that didn't cancel had a bad cold and sure enough--less than a week later, I had a bad cold.
Excellent question! Given the situation you describe I would prefer you be honest if you are not up to the level that you desire. Therefore I would accept and honor a cancellation. In a situation like this one I would appreciate it if you might suggest an alternative and perhaps pave the way given that this is a last minute cancelation.
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