Gentleman and Ladies,

As most of us know that Ter messenger is a really cool tool for us to get to know a potential provider/client.  Well last night I received a message from a gentleman who I have spoken with on only a couple of occasions and very brief conversations at that.  What came out of this message was a little disturbing and wanted to share with you what not to do..

He began by complimenting me, which was very sweet. However, soon I knew where the conversation was going when I got “know what I'd love to do with you ?”.  My reply was as such “humm pls dont be graphic, explain it how I can interpret it”.  He proceeded to compliment me and state that “it’s something I think you are built for”. Again, I asked “I am sure you can explain it without being graphic”. He seemed dumbfounded and asked me “you don’t like graphic”.  Well let’s see why do most providers NOT like graphics in emails or messenger.  I thought it was self-explanatory, but I guess not.  Then he boldly told me how another provider likes it graphic.  I clearly stated “well hon I am not xxx… I don’t mind teasers, etc but I hold myself to a high class and also it’s to protect myself, etc.”.  I thought things would get better with in the talk so I was trying to be polite, boy was I wrong.  Next response was “I thought I gave you a  general idea........guess you don't like my game........want me to tell  you ?...don't want to get too graphic for you”. Again I stated “sorry to have a guessing thing here but I just don’t like details of graphic nature especially since I haven’t met you yet.”  Well now here we get worse.  Not only did he ask what I was wearing but then proceeded to tell me graphically what he wanted to do to me.. I told him AGAIN he was way too graphic for me and then had the nerve to tell me he can’t wait to see the other provider again.  Plus he stated he has many reviews, etc.

Here is my opinion and advise:
Men:
     We do not like graphic details of any nature.  I would have expected someone who has many reviews to understand the nature and reasoning of this.  I have not screened you nor visited with you and I CLEARLY have no clue who you are.  It doesn’t matter to me who you saw before and WHAT another provider does.  Do NOT compare me to her. That is unfair and very rude.  Also, don’t tell me you want to visit with another provider no matter what.  Do you not realize that when we are talking to you or visiting with you, it is ALL about YOU…. Jeez, can you not make it about us as well and have the same respect.

Ladies who do do this..be wise as you are really screwing things up for us ladies that our time and safety is of the utmost.  If you want to do it, that is your choice. However, be aware it can have consequences for those of us that don't..

Most importantly,  I do not just give out my time for free. Why is it that this is expected of us? On top of that, if you really want some material to have your jollies with, please don’t bother me.  

Lastly, I am honored to say this man does NOT live in Florida.  Sorry for the rant, but this has not been addressed and I feel it is very important. Please everyone, feel free to chime in on your views.

So now, let's get on with this historic day and everyone stay warm.

Kisses,

Bella

Bella:

I have had phone calls like what you describe. Do not give a person like this the courtesy of your time, your attention, or your worry. He doesn't deserve it. If you see where the conversation is leading and he is unwilling to take a hint when your give it to him, just say: 'Thank you for calling. Have a nice day.'
And hang up.

Jess

-- Modified on 1/20/2009 12:59:38 PM

Was that the problem?

-- Modified on 1/20/2009 1:03:00 PM

Pretty creepy. The guy was probably jerking off while looking at your picture during the conversation. I know some providers have a phone sex link on their sites, so that at least you can get paid for your "service".

When the conversation starts veering over the line, hang up. They'll eventually figure it out.

you may be WHO she is talking about.

BTW...It's rude here also!!!

while it is often tempting to make a quip about a situation there are some instances where it isn't.
This is one of those cases.  This is one of those, "when the lady says no...no means no", there is NOTHING funny about that kind of situation.  She made an honest post about a "creep alert" situation.  Back off, better yet, retract it Mr. Alias.

If the guy is on the TER MESSENGER, then he is a TER MEMBER, right?......Let me tell you Bella, these are" the creme of the crop" as far as guys you are going to run in to in the escort world.........
If you don't want to talk dirty, I think it says more about you than the guy.  As far as any of us who want, and like, to talk dirty to someone we don't know totally, but is a damn good bet, I think we should have every right to talk about swallowing cum, shooting a load of cum between my tits, fucking my ass, licking my girlfriend's pussy, etc. It's kind of like Foreplay before Foreplay.

it's our rather thankless task to toss them back into the sty.

That means hanging up the phone, turning off the IM, deleting the email, or snuffing out the smoke signals.

A little tough love is all it takes to spare yourself the idiocy of these wannabes.

I have to agree with Jessica.  And she's even kind in the way she cuts him off.  I like a little non-sexual chat before meeting a provider just to know that we'll connect on more than a sexual level(hey, I'm older, give me a break   But....its a rare case where chat or phone conversation goes beyond two sentences before I'm required to schedule an appointment.  Its those rare cases that do go beyond 2 sentences that I end up seeing regularly and neither of us is disappointed.  

If i'm getting cut off for non-sexual chat, I certainly wouldn't expect a Provider would continue to chat with someone who is offensive.

I can totally relate to you Bella!

Another thing that perturbs me is when a gentleman makes an appointment, then comes over with dirty clothes and boogers coming out their nose. Provider tries to be polite and advises 'this will not work out, I am sorry' he turns around and writes a bad review!!! Wouldn't a guy want a CLEAN provider? Why can't a provider want a clean client?

B.A.

and if it's not him, my sincere apology to him.

But you are 100% correct it's beyond rude.

Steph

no matter what, was when he referred to what he was doing as "his game". He was just dying to get graphic and didn't give a damn if you didn't like it.

So sorry this happened to you.

And stayong warm here in NC is impossible today as we had our first significant snow early this morning and into the early afternoon.

I wish I was in FLORIDA!!!

xoxo,

Steph

Even though the alias says w.h.o.r.e_next_door, it's still an alias, and is therefore genderless. In other words...NO BALLS.

In our society too many people feel that the word "no" is always meant for everyone but them.  

I hope you are able to pass the information about him to the other ladies.

Bella, I agree with you graphic is not gentlemanly.  The only time I ever get graphic, if even then, would be with a provider who is also a friend and takes the comments as they were meant,i.e., NOT phone sex, that's what 976 numbers are for.  You're totally correct.  Sorry you were exposed to an inconsiderate bore.

...way to fuck'n hot!

BareVelvet!!!! Licking your girlfriends pussy..You said we would keep that secret!!!

Bare Velvet or Bella ? I think you're making a big deal about nothing here, Bella. You might want to consider loosening up a little.

Having a provider tell me what she'd do to me, kind of turns me on. That's where my hard earned hobby dollars will go.

It is mostly about ME, after all I'm the one paying here. You could use the chat feature to get hobbyist to want to see you, instead of alienating them. You used the term "we" an awful lot. You really think you're speaking of the majority of providers ? I think the providers online to chat probably expect a little erotic chat.

The real issue here is continuing after the lady said no thanks......Have to agree with Raven and his assessment.....irregardless of our own personal tastes respecting others is what it should be about.........

TER Messenger as a tool.  I would think you are losing a level of security or screening.  It is fine if you are talking to either ladies you know or are friendly with or gentlemen whom you have seen.  The situation which you have described just is asking for a less than desired result.  IMHO

Here, Bella has stated that the TER member had a lot of reviews.  But many people are wary of explicit chat for LE reasons. Especially if there were no recent reviews. While rare, sometimes members are compromised by LE too.  So its not always a matter of preference in speech...xxx Kate

However, you are truly missing the point of my post.  My main point is that I clearly told him on a few occasions not to be graphic and he didn't respect that and continued.

Yes I did say "we" because most providers do not like "graphic" chat.  Oh the chat feature is great however, we are still ladies and should be treated as such. You can have a normal conversation with a lady to see if you click without anything graphic.  That is what the VIP section of the reviews are for.  Most importantly, we have no idea who are you.  You could be posed as LE. Did you ever think of that?  Also, you stated it's all about ME.... It is men like you that scares us ladies as to what you are capable of doing...

If we say NO, we mean NO.....and I have nothing else to say to you....

I've been known to be the culprit of some major bulges in mens pants, while chatting on TER. I thoroughly enjoy arousing them, with some dirty foreplay, prior to our sexcapade. Hell, I even talk dirty to men on the boards publicly. OMG...yes I said, even publicly! What a nasty girl...huh? You bet your sweet ass!

If you choose not to partake in a little nasty, kinky sex talk...all you have to do is exit out of the window. Nobody is making you talk to him, that is your choice.

...& thank heavens for dirty little girls, they make me get "bigger" every day & make the world go round,  esp on TER...., ladies like you, barevelvet, cinderella, & eve realy make my ball juice's boil, lol...  


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRN_kOcQrUc&feature=related#

Once I get your ball juices boiling....would you mind if I drink from your fountain?

You would think somebody chatting in a site like this might expect a little erotic chat, wouldn't you ?

All she had to do was close the window.

Every provider I've chatted with you enjoyed the "graphic" chat or at least acted like they did. You sound more like a wife than a provider.

As far as the alias thing, aren't we all using alias's ?

This site isn't called 'The Erotic Review' for nothing. If a gentleman sends me an IM and he actively reviews, reputable providers, I have no problem telling him how I'm going to drain his balls! OTOH...if he has NO reviews..he will just have to read my reviews and jack off.

Again if you wish not to continue the conversation, it's simple...place the cursor on that X at the top right hand corner of the box and click. Wha...la...

and if Bella overstepped a little with the "we" thing, that's not really the point either. As many have posted on this thread, it's about respecting what a lady askes of a gent she's IMing with.

Some ladies like to do the sex chat, other's aren't comfortable with it.

I've read the whole sequence of IMs and Bella asked him several times for no graphic chatting. This person wasn't going to be happy until he said what he wanted to say to her. He didn't take "No" as her answer.

Hopefully she has learned to cut off immediately anything she's not comofrtable with, without fear of hurting a guy's feelings IF he has no respect for her feelings in the first place.

Everyone can have fun with online chatting if everyone respects the desires and boundaries of others.

Personally I dpn't think this guy was interested in meeting her, he was just yanking her chain...and probably yanking his weenie wanker while he was talking to her.

xoxo,

Steph

got a messenger and never will.  Basically this seems VERY simple.  If someone doesn't like what is being said.....end the conversation...period!
People are going to do what they do...that doesn't mean you have to pay any attention to them.  You can easily hang up a phone, or close the messenger if there is an ass on the other end who doesn't respect your request to knock it off.  IMHO carrying that conversation as far as it went, only made the matter worse...like trying to tell a kid to stop repeating everything you say...they will repeat that too!!!  Next time...don't say NO...just end it!

.....I think everyone needs to chill on this and take a deep breath.  If someone is being a total jerk (not a difference of opinion) or being obnoxious then they should be banned by Staff or put on probabtion.  Otherwise whether or not someone uses their real handle or an alias one doesn't really matter from a hobbiest prospective, THEY ARE ALL ALIASES.  Now providers that is another story because you can link the providers handle to a website, etc.

CHILL OUT PEOPLE....have a great day!!!

Because there was some controversy on this I felt it important to re-clarify my thoughts.

My main point was I said No and he continued.  But let me state I continued on the conversation because I didn't want to be an ass even though he was.  I was truly trying to be nice to the guy.  Sad how sometimes you try to be nice and you get back slapped.

I only brought this up as alot of people use messenger and I felt it a good point to bring up that not everyone is the same.  Again thanks to all the 98% of the support that I received.  You all are wonderful and I enjoy everyone's opinion....that is what makes the world go around.

Be nice everyone and have a great day---stay warm..

and I finally did exit the window...I was trying to give the guy the benefit of the doubt to stop and to be nice to the guy.  Guess not everyone can be nice huh...