A few months ago another provider and I were discussing the differences between men emailing all the required info verses just filling out the form on a website. She had said a majority of her initial contacts came via email instead of the web form. To have to cut and paste-make space between questions-all seems like more work but I started asking some guys I trusted the results were amazing. Some top guys-TOTALLLLLLLLLL Sluts who had been around the hobby globe and back said-the forms were enough to keep them away from the girl-a few said I was the only one they had broke their rule for-even if half were telling the truth-I was really still amazed. So I did an experiment and gave the option to email instead of using the form. Well the option is still on my site-so that should tell you it has worked out well!!!

Recently I had a thread asking about assistants after a client I was really into cancelled when I asked her to book him for our next date. Discussing it with a few people I trust all had different ideas of what the problem was-but in a response by DirtyDaego he was a little rough on me-especially since I felt he was maybe grouping me into girls that are doing this solely for the money and just do not give a shit about anybody. I do not believe there is nobody that actually knows me, that would say I fall into that nasty category. BUT I take everything to heart and sometimes really try to understand others to grow myself into a better person and provider.

From day one in this business I have had people trying to tell me my way is wrong-do it this way- do it that way-and all I have continued to do is do it my way-until I understand a better way that works for me first. I will not ever say I am sorry for putting my safety or feelings first...

BUT two of the things that did effect me the most from the previous thread was Gabby Baker saying she lets the guys get screened first-then she will chat with them for a minute before the appointment. I think this is so smart. She is not allowing her time to be wasted from guys that can't pass go! On a positive side it is such a nice way to start the connection. LOVE this and I will be a copy cat after this weekend!!!

The thing DD said that really got me is you guys don't know when pming, emailing, DMing, etc if the message is going to the lady you have been intimate with-OUCH he is right especially in a case like mine when I rely so heavily on my assistant. I do understand there are some things that should be private even in a pay for play situation and I will be more understanding of this going forward. I'm not to proud to say I might have made a mistake and forgot although this is a business and needs to be treated as such, perhaps I forgot how much a minute or two of my time can make a difference to someone-ESPECIALLY to somebody I have been intimate with.

Now that your head is spinning wondering where I am going with this-lol, I would like GENTLE feedback on assistants. As stated before I will always use mine for screening-I love her and trust her completely. I am definitely going to try and become slightly more involved in the personal aspects of this hobby.

SOOO
1-Do you guys when you see a girl has an assistant-just keep going assuming she is either high volume or is not interested enough in her job to do the screening herself?

2-For those of you who have assumed you were dealing with the provider directly-once you figured out you had not been-would you still see the girl or would it depend on if you had already seen her. ***This was a HUGE issue in NJ with a group of girls and literally a hundred plus guys FLIPPED out when they found out the manager was always logging on as the girls in chat. I have been told this is common place in Florida as well-

3-If a combo thing like-the assistant screens you-but then you deal with the girl for arrangements over the phone or email-would that make you feel better about the girl having an assistant?

4-Anything else I should know-please be nice-LOL-I'm having a rough day as it is-lol!!!

xoxooxooox

OH and what is the difference between a girl at an agency taking your info or a personal assistant????? If its not the girl herself-does it really matter?????

-- Modified on 8/30/2012 9:41:10 PM

I've dealt with three in the past month. Yours twice. They've ALL been professional and a dream to deal with. Yours especially. I've never ever been confused as to whom I'm dealing with. I don't mind at all not talking with the lady until the 'day of.' But maybe I'm the exception. I'm NOT expecting to fall in love and marry someone. Well not usually anyway.........

Let me clarify. Three SEPARATE assistants. Yours twice (two different ladies) for a total of four interactions. All were great.

I start with the premise that a good date is between  consenting adults - adding a driver, an assistant a pimp all detract from that and I am allergic to the exposure.

If an Indy lady piques my interest communication starts with an email in which I am very forthright about what arrangement works for me & my lover - not a form request for the name of my employer & blood type. After we have a little banter to pass the chemistry test and decide to discuss specifics I am happy to give a lady my name & address - which are readily verifiable.

I prefer not to give provider references either as it requires more people knowing my personal life.

at the risk of offending the ladies who operate under that system - my experience is that many of you talk way too much about what goes on in the bedroom amongst yourselves & I prefer that our arrangements remain private - the last person I want you to discuss me with is another provider I have seen.

I find te white list here to be very effective.

is that succinct enough?

Are they usually the provider's lover?

Let me express myself over the last 2 thread you have started. In the late 90's until 5  years ago I was a assistant to many top 50 ladies in Dallas and in Tampa I verified for the ladies but once that was done I sent verified info to the Lady involved and all the rest of conversations with the gentlemen was with the Lady she would personally contact the gentlemen and set the date and spend 5 to 10 mins talking to them on the phone and after the date all conversations with her period I ONLY verify then never try to converse with them or pretend to be them I got paid to verify only left anything else up to the lady I think your assistant should  verify and you  do the rest. You need a personal touch in your business so the men do not think you treat your work as just a business

I  have not seen you for that main reason I have read your web site and it seems way to inpersonal refering to your assistance severaal time This made me feel it is only a business not that you enjoy what your doing and I want to see Ladies who enjoy what they do for a living. I believe your need to change your Business profile and make it more personal I wish you the best in the future and hope you show the gentlemen a better personal touch

-- Modified on 8/30/2012 5:06:09 PM

Bad assistants are a big problem.

Assistants should do just that. Assist.
They should handle the screening and scheduling for ladies that are busy or simply don't have the desire to deal with that part of it.
What they should NOT do is:
1. Pretend to be the lady. That's inexcusable.
2. Think they are in charge and run the show. When they get too arrogant and think they can dictate to the lady or client how things will be....then they're simply a pimp with tits.

Ultimately it's the ladies business. It's how she earns her money and establishes a reputation so she can continue to earn money. A good assistant will help that cause, a bad one will hurt it and lose business.
It's no different than in an office setting. If your customer service people aren't good, the consumer will just go elsewhere. It's not always about watching the money you are making....you also have to think about money you may be losing.

Hello Brenda,

I don't post much here but read your message and felt compelled to respond.  I want to enter the hobby and would really love to meet you.  However, my hesitation, as with I suspect a lot of people is privacy.  For a multitude of reasons, I cannot take chances on on being "outed".  As with any discreet relationship, the minute a third party is introduced to the equation, the risks of something bad happening go up significantly.  I am sure you have complete trust in your assistant but she is a human and can make errors in judgement.  What if you and her have a disagreement or argument.  Her recourse could be to ruin your business; yes, she is impacted too but she may not care.  What would be the quickest way? Start publishing names, making phone calls to work or other numbers, emails, etc.  Word would spread quickly and you would be done.  That is an extreme example but it is a possibility and one that should be considered.

Yes, there may be assistants that work for other providers and you never know it but in your situation I know there is a third party and therefore cannot take the chance.  Lastly, the utilization of an assistant comes off as just, well, cold.  You are in a business of emotion and feeling, an assistant totally destroys that in my mind.

Probably not what you wanted to hear but that's my .02 cents.  However, credit to you for asking the question and trying to improve your business.

Best of luck to you and happy Friday.

1-No.  I have no issue with assistants.
2-No I would not see her and yes, it would completely piss me off.
3-That would be the perfect solution.
4-Use the assistant to screen and schedule only.

I agree with some of what BigMike said.  If I peruse a girl's web page and it's got a long list of requirements and instructions for making a date, I just move on.  Nothing wrong with a girl wanting to be safe but you can go overboard with it.

The website is overwhelming. Absolutely. IMO.

Yes, sometimes but mine is strictly dickly!!!
She only teases me-never puts out!!

There has to be a real compelling reason for me to involve a third party in my P4P discussions especially like in your case where you have a thorough screening process.  The other pet peeve is that if we have an ongoing relationship (i.e. we've seen each other several times) and I still need to book through the assistant.

Some ladies are cool and the assistant is just screening and all conversation thereafter is with the provider directly, but it is awkward to have a conversation with an assistant about what type of cuisine she likes so I can make dinner plans or discussing outfits, etc.  Thankfully there are enough no-assistant independent ladies that having missed out on a few like you has not really cramped my style.

Your Questions...

1-Do you guys when you see a girl has an assistant-just keep going assuming she is either high volume or is not interested enough in her job to do the screening herself?

Just keep going, but not b/c of the reasons you state.  Rather, I don't want to discuss my business with anyone more than I need to

2-For those of you who have assumed you were dealing with the provider directly-once you figured out you had not been-would you still see the girl or would it depend on if you had already seen her.

This has never happened, but I'd be pissed whether I'd seen her or not.  Any assistant should clearly identify herself.  That said, I can avoid most assistant situations by reading a few reviews.  Somebody generally mentions the assistant at some point

3-If a combo thing like-the assistant screens you-but then you deal with the girl for arrangements over the phone or email-would that make you feel better about the girl having an assistant?

This situation is better, but depending upon the screening process, I still probably will pass.  If the assistant is ok with P411/TER Whitelist and contacting a few former dates, then fine.  If she wants full name, work info, etc....pass.  I've given that info to very few providers, and only in the early days of hobbying.


4-Anything else I should know-please be nice-LOL-I'm having a rough day as it is-lol!!! xoxooxooox OH and what is the difference between a girl at an agency taking your info or a personal assistant????? If its not the girl herself-does it really matter?????

For me, really there is no difference between an agency rep taking my info and an assistant.  If it's not the companion herself, it really doesn't matter.

Bottom line, the way I see it is you have every right to have an assistant and I have every right to pass.  As a result we both may miss out on some opportunities, but there are enough fish in each pond that it will never really be an issue for either of us.

That said, there are some situations where the assistant is useful. If you are seeing guys ever 90 minutes for $xxx per hour, then it's more of a transactional environment (similar to an agency girl) and you'd almost need an assistant to keep everything straight, but If I'm paying you $3-6+k for an overnight or $2k for an afternoon, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect you to email or text me directly to plan our time together.  Part of the experience is the personal touch and an assistant just kills the mood.

MT


-- Modified on 8/31/2012 8:38:58 AM

-- Modified on 8/31/2012 8:53:11 AM

Thats cause you have not met me yet-lol!!

Not sure what the difference is between two ladies talking privately and you writing reviews for anybody to read about your private business????
There are plenty (most of the men I see -never ever would even read this board never mind put any info on this type of board)
Yes the WL is good, but there are guys that think because they have been white-listed they are superior to what a lady wants.
It does need to be mutual.
A lady has every right to ask any amount of info she wants.
BUT PLEASE ACTUALLY READ-I had a guy today in a pm say I ask for a DL number-WRONG-I have never done that.
I do ask for the name and city/state that appears on the id you will show me.
Anybody who does not understand why I would ask this-does not understand just because "Bob" is screened-does not mean its not "Bobs" friend coming for the visit.
My safety is more important than to be so foolish than to take any chances.
The guys should either do it on her terms or move on.
Its the crybaby jerks who think because they have been white-listed by some crackhead that piss me off.
You have an impressive resume (white-list) and guys like you from time to time when my assistant is not crazy busy with her other girls I do say OK this week accept white-list but I change this on her so often I try to keep this to a minimum-lol!!!

You assumed wrong!!
I love what I do-just do not enjoy all the bullshit that goes into screening.
Since you were a screener-you know the time wasters and guys who think rules do not apply to them out way the decent guys who wants to be respectful and follow procedure.
Since their are countless boards dedicated to discussing men and the nonsense that goes on-I know I am not the only one running into guys that feel they should dictate how I run my business.
I can only do what is best for me.
I am always open to helpful advice but at the end of the day-if I am not comfortable-then I'm just not doing it.

...as long as she tells me that I am communicating with an assistant!

Not to be funny but if I wanted to start over, I could tomorrow-new name, website,email, pictures-all in a few hours-tour to a new location-etc...
Providers can come and and go faster than anything.
Even strippers have to get hired-wait for a date the club needs them-etc...
This board and every other is full of discussions of guys taking one for the team...
My assistant is connected in this hobby world WAY more than answering my emails.
She has been in business for 14 years and there is NO way she could just restart her business if she did something as you are suggesting.
I wish you the best as well.

Reminds me of the boss at work who tells you if you have any problems with his management style his door is open and you are free to talk about it at any time. And then when you do he spends the whole time telling you how the whole problem is your attitude.

END OF MESSAGE

Also reminds me of the old joke that about who you need to go to if you have a problem with our customer service department.

I have no problem giving whatever information you or any other provider might require to feel comfortable seeing me - in all the years of hobbying no one has ever asked me to see ID

I agree the whitelist falls way short of what a lady may require to insure her safety

Some of the ladies we see are ongoing for years & I absolutely do not want anyone contacting them about me. Over the years I have heard all sorts of gossip in my bedroom about others - it ruins the evening & unless they can take a hint and shut up - it's our last tryst...

as for reviews - I buy my membership quarterly, have for many years, only write reviews when asked - sometimes there are large gaps - sometimes years.

I am not married
I hobby with my SO and infrequently - not everyday can be Valentines Day
I am retired
not in politics
if I write a review it's my perrogative to share that - and probably better not to...

as for assistants - my comment was not a fair one - lots of ladies have assistants to help with scheduling & screening, particularly ladies that travel. Some assistants make a business of it and work for more than one client. No problem with any of that - it is however one more person that has personal information once removed & what happens between consenting adults is pretty much a private matter

Just read a couple of your reviews Brenda - perhaps we can talk about something else if you are ever over on our coast and so inclined...

I myself just looked at your site and "requirements"!
I do have a day job 'ya know !
What does my height have to do with the evvelope ? We are just going to get together and fuck !
Your fetish list is hilarious
I could cover EVEYTHING you want to know in about 5 minutes of actual CONVERSATION - Oh , I forgot I can't TALK to you only your assistant - PASS .........
I really have no issues or problems with assistants and TOTALLY understand the value and need from them on your end . But just damn girl, your information would take me a few hours to type in and I would pass............

Do the lady's who use assistant's have and regularlly check the back and forth e mails?
I for sure as hell would .............W/O unlimited control over the assistant's e mails you really have NO idea what kinda service she is giving you .Have you ladies considered that ?
Let them verify me , pass that on to you ,and then you take over the conversations and ask whatever you want is my opinion.

If all you owned was my opinion and $2.00 , your net worth would be around $2.00 !

Bummers, she doesn't put out!  You should work on that and write a review.

Amen bro.

And at $2.00 I think you are way overestimating the value she will place on your opinion.

When I first started I didn't use an assistant but have been using one now for 5 years. I feel more comfortable having someone know where and with whom I'm with. The business has changed so much since I started. Like many, I have another life too and often cannot answer the phone.

I do my own advertising, my own posting and answer my own emails. My assistant only answers my calls off of certain sites. I then I call and say hi, blah, blah blah.

I've had great feedback on my gal as everyone seems to like her.

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

Quote]

BUT two of the things that did effect me the most from the previous thread was Gabby Baker saying she lets the guys get screened first-then she will chat with them for a minute before the appointment. I think this is so smart. She is not allowing her time to be wasted from guys that can't pass go! On a positive side it is such a nice way to start the connection. LOVE this and I will be a copy cat after this weekend!!![\quote]

Brenda,

Thank you so much for the compliment. I have to say 1st and foremost that I have loved your style since the night I met you a few years back at a NYC Mixer.( do you remember?)  I've watched how you present yourself and promoted yourself. Professional all the way. So much  I have tried to imulate you in almost every way, minus the whips and chains.( for now lol )  

Again last year i met you in Orlando at a Mixer. We had some time to talk and I was still in awe over your professionalism, you are also one of the sweetest, kindest, thoughtful, giving people in this lifestyle.

You are a twitter Tweetheart and I enjoy following you. One day I was frustrated and ask anyone on twitter if they knew of an assistant who can help me screen and keep me safe. After all you'll want to keep safe right?
One day I was so frustrated with the business side of this lifestyle and asked if there was anyone who know of an awesome assistant. You were the very 1st to raise your twitter hand and give me Beth's info. I was in awe, shocked that you were so kind to offer YOUR assistant to me.

I immediately contacted Beth and away we went. At 1st she just screened my forms. And that was it. But after a year of my business getting busier for me, and mind you I DO have another life other than this, so this lifestyle was butting into mine.
I decided to higher Beth Full time. She now does my forms, marketing, and books my appointments. She does have her very own email account with my permission ( and watchful eyes) to reply back to anyone who emails through that account. It's clearly tells you its [email protected]. If something personal needs to be address Beth FWD's the email to my email address and I take it from there. I don't mind emailing back and forth with anyone as long as I know you are safe and in this lifestyle with me.

Yes, I do like to email my future clients, but I always ask for you  to be screened 1st. This way we get that behind us and we can start a friendship that's not so business like.  I like to think of my assistant as a secretary. She will weed out the time wasters and focus on the task at hand, getting you to me. In the safest, timeliness manner.  After all don't most businessmen, doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs all have secretaries??

I think it's good to learn from the best so  you can be the best, not try to take them down or try to ruin their business and ofcourse there a handful of seedy people associated with this lifestyle, Im sure you can point them out on this board who let their insecurities get the best of them and think they have to attack others, instead of learning from them

Everyone has there way of doing business.
Some like to be VERY safe, others not so much.

Give Brenda a chance. She really is a great asset to Florida just as welll as NYC , Jersey , and Philly . Obviously , men have given Beth a chance for a long time and  if you look at Brenda's reviews ( And mine )  ... The past two years they mention Beth . Beth  is  not out to harm anyone, but to keep us ALL safe.



Stay safe, and be sexy,

Gabby xox

-- Modified on 8/31/2012 11:20:45 AM

Gabby-thank you soooo much.
I've had a few nasty pms-from guys who don't even know me-just want to judge so this really helped lift my spirits.
xooxooxoooxoox

LOL I know I know. We will eventually. Actually I'm scared to death. Just kidding. Sorta. You are really really hot though. And Beth is the bomb!

This past year I've seen some bitter people trying to belittle and berate me. I've taken the high road and placed them on ignore, and blocked them. It's the only thing you can do.
The only way to control nasty mean people is to not give them the light of day.
And just like I posted this photo on twitter, I'll post it here.

You can't please all the of the people all of the time.

Keep your head up and keep being the sexy professional Brenda I've known to admire.

Gabby xoxo

You are in a Business like any other...that said in order to attract the best clients for repeat business you need to have that special attraction an intuition.
For some it comes naturally and for some it can be learned.

It does not matter if you have an assistant. You just have to use her properly.
I think you have been given great advice above.

As clients  we appreciate sincerity and passion.

We know it is temporary but we like to be fooled.

You are struggling with the intangibles!

Good luck in fine tuning your business practices!

First, I would like to compliment you On even being concerned with this. We haven't met, But I think this speaks volumes about The type of person and quality provider That I have read you are.
  I personally prefer to email... and tend to stay away from forms... and to tell you the truth, anytime I speak with an assistant, I just assume it is an agency.... and I personally don't do agency's. I belong to date check.. so I don't use forms when I can just verify through them.  after an assistant makes the initial verification... I think it's nice to receive a call or email from the provider.... have a great weekend

Your 1) depends on the girl
2) if the asst. misled me, then I'll move on
3) the best or your choices
4) reasonable rates & good service, including the business part, will equal repeat visits.

First off, I LOVE the name "Brenda Boobies"!! You sound like a lot of fun and very straight forward.
I have a huge full time career outside of this and have really tried to keep things on personal level with my regulars...It does get really crazy trying to verify potential new friends tho'...I have flirted with the idea of getting an assistant for verification only...I also like the idea of just having a buddy that I can trust with my whereabouts. I'm new to posting on the boards...I'm proud to be in the company of such strong and expressive ladies!! I feel we should all try to encourage each other and celebrate this industry for the independence it gives us  

excellent and helped the process along (that's whay thet are there).  I had one bad experience with a provider whose asst. handled her calls--I was on a street corner near the hotel in a real downpour, trying to stay dry and I kept calling for room # amd getting voice mail; after H-Hour + 25 minutes, I was about to call and say I was going home, I finally got a call back and got the room number.  When I got there the provider told me sh =e thought her asst. had fallen asleep!  Noe my thought was why would an asst., knowing there was an appt. at 'X:00' fall asleep at that time?  Wjile the provider did honor my originally requested time period despite the late start, and she procided a very nice time, I've never been tempted to see her again.  There are too many other options and life's too short.  But generally I've had good results in dealing with providers who use assts., and the mere presennce of an asst. in the chain certainly wouldn't by itself cause me to look elsewhere.

... worth probably less

If you are a provider without a day job you probably cannot relate to this.

As an engineer in the twilight of my career I have observed lately that I can hardly do so much as go to the bathroom without someone telling me that there is a procedure to be followed and a form to be filled out and castigating me if I don't do it properly. This has become the bane of my existence and the sole reason I am even thinking about retiring although my engineering skills are as strong as they ever were.

So when I decide to treat myself to an escape from my mundane daily life and visit a provider, the last thing in the world I want is to run into the very same kinds of people for whom I have developed a very great animosity.