While in this business I've always live by a self-imposed set of guidelines - always trust your gut, never get undressed for free, treat other girls in the business as a sister --  and ---- one of the most important --- NEVER let the wives or children get hurt. What that means to me is no matter how badly someone might behave or burn me (if they've stalked me, violated my privacy, given counterfeit cash or dollar size yellow pages stuffed in an envelope, booked false appointments, stood me up at the last second when I'm already dressed and where I'm supposed to be so on and so forth) I've always found a way to either deal with it with the individual or to let it go without taking their deceit out on innocent people. I've heard too many stories about providers going outside of the boundaries and targeting families or notifying work places when they're angry at a client about something. That's just never been my style.

A few months ago I locked my galleries down after being recognized by a few people in my social circle - all men . I mention that obvious fact because clearly whoever it was that saw my pics on TER/Eros had to have been shopping around those sites themselves so calling me out in front of civilians makes them a hypocrite. One person (that I'll be talking about a lot later in my posts) made comments like, "this girl gets a lot of ass",  "who are you hooking tonight" and "I'm looking for a downtown call girl" every time he sees me. The comments are awful but this post isn't about what this person said. This post is about  the mutual respect for each person's privacy if they're going to participate in this arena.

I never thought in a million years that the person who made the awful comments would go as far as he's gone. I conduct light screening for access to my galleries. This person had the nerve to email me for a password to my galleries without giving me one clue about who he was. He entered and perused the galleries and then proceeded to engage me in a very long string of emails --- never once telling me that we actually know each other in a different way. When someone sends a ton of email without booking I send a red flag up and I look at the person a little closer. He was emailing me from a work address with his real name attached to it I started to recognize the name. I went to Facebook to confirm my suspicions and it was who I thought it was. I was beyond livid!! I had *just* locked my galleries down and he was one of the first in line to ask for access. I couldn't believe that someone would have that much nerve/obsession/malintent. I contacted him and asked him why? When I asked him if he's written a review or ever called a girl before the answer was no and one time. He knows nothing about the world of hobbling except what he's learned by stalking me.  He didn't have reasonable answers to ANY of my questions.

Before I go on I wanted to through a note about who "he" is. He's a belligerent drunk, he can't hold a conversation without being verbally abusive and probably doesn't get laid very often because of his sloppy angry-drunk behavior. He's a good looking guy but he's really pissed off at the world and has no real friends or life that I can see. I always only see him at a bar getting hammered. I've given him a ride home before because he was so trashed. ---Yep - he's that close to me in my civilian world and --- all of those factors together make up one lethal combination for me. People like this often take their emptiness and anger out on others and I'm a perfect target. It's soooo easy to point the finger at the hooker and actually feel like someone when people side with his drunken ass.

With that said, I decided that my only choice was to take the high road. I lectured him about poking into my business, told him not to do it again and was then nice enough to tell him that if he's going to continue playing around in this world that he better started corresponding through a private email address rather than his work addy. I also asked him to write a review on the one girl he claims he's seen. His story is that he never went looking for me. He said he just bumped into me when shopping around.  I felt like if he wrote the review that would put some truth behind what I was correct in assuming  were lies. He never wrote the review and the girl he says he saw is nowhere to be found. I only know this because he contacted me again over the summer to ask for a new password to my galleries. Can you believe the gall?

OK… I know the post is getting long but here's where it starts to get juicy again. Recently, the man I've been dating for over three years told me he was approached by this individual. He asked my guy if he knew I had pictures on the internet, blah, blah, blah. My guy knows (thank god!!) and brushed his question of with an "I don't know".  I was floored!!!  Guess he didn't take me seriously when I told him to stay out my business!! I know this person well enough to have his number on my phone. I called to ask him why he would do such a thing. Again, he played innocent and handed me one lie after the other.  -- At this point he can say anything he likes but the bottom line for me is - This person PURPOSELY tried to hurt me by telling my boyfriend about my presence on the internet. I can deal with the stalking, the lying and the major violation of my privacy but when someone makes a point of trying to expose and upset the balance of my life I have a REAL PROBLEM with that. I might even be able deal with one of his exposures in my social circle but as you can see he's spreading my secret when I thought the whole thing had been put to bed. If he were a part of the hobby like he claims he is he would know that there's a mutual respect between hobbyists and providers regarding privacy and he's breaking every rule. Soooo - he's either clueless and found his way here by stalking me OR he's a regular hobbyist with no regard for the rules. Either one is unacceptable.

I contacted him again (I waited until I was in a calm and peaceful mood) and asked him why he would approach my lover and tell him such things? All he gave me were empty answers and played innocent the entire time. I didn't scream, yell or threaten him. I let him tell his lies and closed the conversation. The situation has become pathological and I'm trying to figure out what I should do? --- Take the high road again (and let him possibly continue to spread my secret amongst my social circle)? Ask TER to look him up in their database and ban him? Bring his work email address up to him again and give him another warning?

What would you do if someone went to your significant other, your best friend or a family member and told them about your involvement in the hobby? How would you handle the situation?