Hello, everyone.  I am new to TER and to the hobby, so please be gentle with me.  I also have a unique circumstance that brings with it some challenges for both me and any providers that I see.  Therefore I have some questions that I think can best be answered here in the Florida board.  I have done searches for the terms "wheelchair" and "quadriplegic" with limited success.

I've been debating how much information to provide about myself.  A lot of this is deeply personal to me, but since it's not proper etiquette to discuss specifics with providers regarding certain activities I enjoy, or she might, I guess I will spill the beans here.  So in order to find both the right provider and not spring any surprises on any ladies I might visit, here goes.

Nearly 20 years ago I broke my neck diving into shallow water.  I am a C5 quadriplegic.  For those that are interested, you can do a Google search or peruse YouTube for details about what sort of function and abilities someone such as myself has to work with.  With regard to sensation, motor function, and sex, I have none in the area of Little Jimmy and the twins.  I suspect for some of you the thought of that alone makes you thankful you aren't a quadriplegic.  Frankly, I've got more important things to worry about than that.  

I always pride myself and say to myself that I'm fairly well-adjusted for someone with such a disability.  I'm not antisocial, I'm not a bitter prick to those around me, I've accomplished a great deal of things I'm proud of since my injury, and for the most part I'm happy to still be around.  But the past 6 months or so have been difficult.  The last time I kissed a girl was in January of 1994.  The last time I did other things with a girl was quite some time before that.  I can be watching an old movie (I'm a Turner Classic Movie channel junkie), a chick flick, anything really, and I will bust out in tears at this simple sight of two people enjoying each others company.  So I am beginning to wonder just how well-adjusted I really am.

Some people would say that my self-esteem is in the crapper.  I prefer the word humble.  I've received all sorts of therapy -- physical therapy, occupational therapy, vocational therapy, you name it -- but when it comes to regaining my sexuality, that's been a problem that's been left for me to deal with.  I hear that in many countries it's not illegal for the disabled to visit prostitutes, sex workers, sex surrogates, whatever they call them.  I know in Denmark (and possibly Australia) the government will send one to your home.  After hearing about the movie The Surrogate with Helen Hunt (Synopsis: A man in an iron lung who wishes to lose his virginity contacts a professional sex surrogate with the help of his therapist and priest.) I figured I would look into surrogate therapy.  It turns out surrogates don't work in the state of Florida for the most part, but if I saw a therapist in Florida, and he/she recommended I see one (sex surrogate), I could either fly one in to work with me for a couple of weeks or I could travel to a state where they do work.  That would cost me thousands of dollars.  So to make a long story a bit shorter, I eventually wound up here on TER.

So here I am looking for a provider that is both newbie and wheelchair friendly.  I'd be happy to share a photograph of myself with a provider should she request one.  I'm 41, I have 90 percent of the hair I was born with, and I have all of my teeth.  I have clear skin.  I know what proper hygiene is and I am a consummate gentleman.  I only ask for simple accommodations (no stairs and a fairly open floor plan so I have room to turn around), someone with an open mind, a nonjudgmental attitude, and preferably someone who enjoys DATY.  The latter is about all I think about lately.  My wheelchair does recline and tilt into some pretty interesting configurations, so hopefully I can find one that is comfortable for all involved.  Ideally I could find someone into gymnastics, the game twister, or did not weigh too much.  Spinners you all call them.  I'm willing to work with anyone motivated, however.  

I'm looking for something incall in either Palm Beach or North Broward County.  Fortunately I live close to a couple of incall locations that a local agency uses and they have an excellent selection of possible candidates.  The bad news is I don't know how much room is available at these locations and I don't think I can set up anything well in advance.  I don't see how I can speak with their providers ahead of time to gauge interest in seeing a wheelchair user, either.

Any information or guidance that you all can provide would be appreciated.  I'm quite nervous about my predicament and meeting a provider.  I really can't take much more solitary confinement.  Here are a few questions that come to mind.  I'm sure I will have more.


1.  How many of you providers are open to seeing someone with a disability?

2.  Would any of you providers requiring multiple references be willing to ease up on your requirements with the revelation that I am completely harmless?    I have been screened through P411, too.

3.  I am unable to grasp items very well.  The consideration/donation will be difficult for me to discreetly place somewhere.  Would it be possible to have a provider retrieve an envelope from a backpack on the back of my wheelchair?  I could say something to the effect that I found it outside her door and it might belong to her.  Or maybe some other innocent remark?  I see many providers who accept other ways of making a donation.  I've seen credit cards and PayPal as accepted forms of payment on many websites.

4.  If you have seen a wheelchair user in the course of your work how did it go?


Thank you for reading.

Man, I don't know what to say, but I thing your post is absolutely amazing! You just about covered everything in such an open and honest manner. I think your approach will appeal to several special ladies. I wish you well and look forward to your review.

I applaud you and think that this post is a perfect way to introduce yourself to all the beautiful ladies.

It is a wonderful start that you have been screened through P411, I would suggest that you also look into Date Check as well.

I wish you the very best in your search and am sure you will find a special lady that will respect and appreciate you for who you are and what you have to offer.


Sweet Kisses,
Sindie

I have seen other disabled gentleman. You sound like a great guy, disabled or not.

-- Modified on 3/30/2012 2:27:24 PM

Welcome, 80West. What a nice introduction! If you ever come to Tampa I would be happy to entertain you.

This is a nice photography essay you may like: http://www.nearbycafe.com/loveandlust/steinberg/photo/disability/veronicajason/content copy 5.html
(This is a weird URL, so you have to copy and paste the whole thing in to the address box, including the "/content copy 5.html" part at the end)



-- Modified on 3/31/2012 12:14:16 AM

I know she sees several clients with physical disabilities.

Her website also mentions that she is very open to providing services to such individuals.

Good Luck.

Posted By: 80West

Hello, everyone.  I am new to TER and to the hobby, so please be gentle with me.  I also have a unique circumstance that brings with it some challenges for both me and any providers that I see.  Therefore I have some questions that I think can best be answered here in the Florida board.  I have done searches for the terms "wheelchair" and "quadriplegic" with limited success.

I've been debating how much information to provide about myself.  A lot of this is deeply personal to me, but since it's not proper etiquette to discuss specifics with providers regarding certain activities I enjoy, or she might, I guess I will spill the beans here.  So in order to find both the right provider and not spring any surprises on any ladies I might visit, here goes.

Nearly 20 years ago I broke my neck diving into shallow water.  I am a C5 quadriplegic.  For those that are interested, you can do a Google search or peruse YouTube for details about what sort of function and abilities someone such as myself has to work with.  With regard to sensation, motor function, and sex, I have none in the area of Little Jimmy and the twins.  I suspect for some of you the thought of that alone makes you thankful you aren't a quadriplegic.  Frankly, I've got more important things to worry about than that.  

I always pride myself and say to myself that I'm fairly well-adjusted for someone with such a disability.  I'm not antisocial, I'm not a bitter prick to those around me, I've accomplished a great deal of things I'm proud of since my injury, and for the most part I'm happy to still be around.  But the past 6 months or so have been difficult.  The last time I kissed a girl was in January of 1994.  The last time I did other things with a girl was quite some time before that.  I can be watching an old movie (I'm a Turner Classic Movie channel junkie), a chick flick, anything really, and I will bust out in tears at this simple sight of two people enjoying each others company.  So I am beginning to wonder just how well-adjusted I really am.

Some people would say that my self-esteem is in the crapper.  I prefer the word humble.  I've received all sorts of therapy -- physical therapy, occupational therapy, vocational therapy, you name it -- but when it comes to regaining my sexuality, that's been a problem that's been left for me to deal with.  I hear that in many countries it's not illegal for the disabled to visit prostitutes, sex workers, sex surrogates, whatever they call them.  I know in Denmark (and possibly Australia) the government will send one to your home.  After hearing about the movie The Surrogate with Helen Hunt (Synopsis: A man in an iron lung who wishes to lose his virginity contacts a professional sex surrogate with the help of his therapist and priest.) I figured I would look into surrogate therapy.  It turns out surrogates don't work in the state of Florida for the most part, but if I saw a therapist in Florida, and he/she recommended I see one (sex surrogate), I could either fly one in to work with me for a couple of weeks or I could travel to a state where they do work.  That would cost me thousands of dollars.  So to make a long story a bit shorter, I eventually wound up here on TER.

So here I am looking for a provider that is both newbie and wheelchair friendly.  I'd be happy to share a photograph of myself with a provider should she request one.  I'm 41, I have 90 percent of the hair I was born with, and I have all of my teeth.  I have clear skin.  I know what proper hygiene is and I am a consummate gentleman.  I only ask for simple accommodations (no stairs and a fairly open floor plan so I have room to turn around), someone with an open mind, a nonjudgmental attitude, and preferably someone who enjoys DATY.  The latter is about all I think about lately.  My wheelchair does recline and tilt into some pretty interesting configurations, so hopefully I can find one that is comfortable for all involved.  Ideally I could find someone into gymnastics, the game twister, or did not weigh too much.  Spinners you all call them.  I'm willing to work with anyone motivated, however.  

I'm looking for something incall in either Palm Beach or North Broward County.  Fortunately I live close to a couple of incall locations that a local agency uses and they have an excellent selection of possible candidates.  The bad news is I don't know how much room is available at these locations and I don't think I can set up anything well in advance.  I don't see how I can speak with their providers ahead of time to gauge interest in seeing a wheelchair user, either.

Any information or guidance that you all can provide would be appreciated.  I'm quite nervous about my predicament and meeting a provider.  I really can't take much more solitary confinement.  Here are a few questions that come to mind.  I'm sure I will have more.


1.  How many of you providers are open to seeing someone with a disability?

2.  Would any of you providers requiring multiple references be willing to ease up on your requirements with the revelation that I am completely harmless?    I have been screened through P411, too.

3.  I am unable to grasp items very well.  The consideration/donation will be difficult for me to discreetly place somewhere.  Would it be possible to have a provider retrieve an envelope from a backpack on the back of my wheelchair?  I could say something to the effect that I found it outside her door and it might belong to her.  Or maybe some other innocent remark?  I see many providers who accept other ways of making a donation.  I've seen credit cards and PayPal as accepted forms of payment on many websites.

4.  If you have seen a wheelchair user in the course of your work how did it go?


Thank you for reading.

You are sure to find many lovely ladies who are based in West Palm Beach & others who visit there. Congratulations on your triumphs and willingness to take on new adventures. Life is good

I often visit the S Florida area (based in N/Central Florida) and am headed your way April 20th-23rd. If you're interested, I would gladly accomodate you.

Good luck & welcome aboard!

xxx
Jinni

I hope you enjoy your time here and have the opportunity to meet many wonderful ladies. Thank you for your honesty and questions. It is appreciated.

I have visited with a dear friend similar to your situation on several occasions in Boston and New York.  Having seen first hand the situation, I understand where you are coming from and can appreciate your concerns and questions.

All of the ladies that have responded are wonderful and will show you a great time. I am also available in Deerfield Beach and would love to meet. If you are interested, contact me and I can answer some of your more detailed questions such as credit cards, verification, etc.

Once again, welcome and I hope you enjoy meeting the wonderful people of South Florida and participating on our board.

80west, go get 'em!  There are some awesome ladies down here in South Florida, and I'm sure they'd be happy to see you.  Kissing, and going down on a woman are two of the best things in the world, and I hope you get some of both real soon.  Your fellow pussy-eaters are all rooting for you!

Thank you for sharing that with me, Sarah.  The background about the photographer was also interesting.  There are photographs of other couples on his website, too.

I stumbled across the following video on YouTube quite accidentally the other day.  I don't remember what I was looking for.  But anyway, I have a bit more function than this guy does, but we both still fall under the "really fucked up" category on the disability scale.  

If I had this guy's caretaker in my home I wouldn't be worrying about any woman down the hall.  

=====

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM8uDmSBZBg

Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LwtiKxf6e8

=====

Touched is an award winning short film depicting a moment in the life of a quadriplegic man called Ray.

Touched won best script at the Bondi short film festival in Sydney, was nominated for best sound, best actor, best script at the Western Australian Screen Award, won best film at the ATOM festival in Melbourne, screened all over the world including in Brazil and is now part of the prestigious Clermont Ferrand Festival film library.

Ray became quadriplegic after a surfing accident which means he can physically only move his head. This disability however doesn't mean his need for companionship is gone...

"Touched" was inspired by the real life of Craig Rozenkranz

googled Craig Rozenkranz...interesting & inspiring mate.

http://www.craigros.com/pages/about/about.html

I want to thank everyone for the warm welcome and the advice.  Even though I can't spill a cup (as you will put it) any more, I hope I get an opportunity to meet someone and make her happy.  Hopefully in turn it will make me feel better.  It's been way too long.