Here are impressions of the clubs we visited, in order of favorite to least-favorite:
1) Oase (fkk-oase.de) – Best overall. Pronounced Oh-wahz’, it’s German for Oasis, and truly an haven of Vegas kitsch, Greek homage, and fabulous women near Frankfurt. We caught it on a warm day, so the pool was open with nude, or nearly nude, women lounging around, playing/joking with guys in the pool, or enjoying food/drinks poolside. Sessions with the girls (most of whom were stunning) could be had in well-appointed rooms in the main building’s interior, in poolside bungalows/cabanas, or right out in the open in large chaise lounges with overhead sunshields.
Only minor downside is there can be ‘hustle’ at this club, where some of the girls will approach, sit, and/or talk with you while with the goal of asking for a session – sometimes with a little pressure or attitude if you don’t accept. It’s not heavy, so I didn’t find it be particularly off-putting, and no worse than many American strip clubs. A firm but polite “nine, danke” usually did the trick.
2) Bernds (bernds-sauna-club.de/) – The original and my most intimately satisfying FKK. It’s in a house on a residential street in a small town. There are two floors, with the upstairs housing the lockers and a main sitting room, and the downstairs sporting a lounging area, keno, and bar. There are two stand-outs for this club: A) Rather than paying the girls at the end of each session, you simply settle up with the front desk lady at the end. Nice touch, and B) The girls are totally nude, all the time. That really worked for me. They’re not shy about sitting on the couch with spread legs and lightly fingering themselves as they look at you across the room and/or engage in conversation. It all felt very GFE, like canoodling with a hot new girlfriend in her downstairs rec room. The girls may not be as uniformly young and hot as at Oase, but there were definitely some 8’s and 9’s there, and it’s where I met my ATF for the trip, a tall Polish blond with a sweet personality and over-the-top kissing. Everybody warns you not to fall in love with any of the girls. Good advice I suppose, but I found it impossible with my Polish sweetheart at Bernds.
3) Park Sauna (parksauna-residenz.de) and Acapulco (fkkacapulco.de) – These two clubs fit what I think of as a true health club/sauna that happens to include gorgeous nude women lounging around. They’re both large with amenities like indoor swimming pool, dry and wet saunas, many lounge chairs and couches everywhere, and an outside deck with lounge chairs. These are not party clubs, so no loud music, no crowds, and little hustle. Everything’s laid back and serene, like spending an afternoon at a world-class health and relaxation spa. Park Sauna is the more luxurious and includes restaurant-quality, made-to-order meals, plus a standing buffet of meats, cheeses, cereals, etc. Acapulco, on the other hand, has about the best deal going – 25 Euro entry, 40 Euro/session, and 25 Euro for extras. In both cases, there’s a large and varied selection of girls, some extremely attractive while others reside in the 5 – 7 range. That being said, I met my 2nd-ranked ATF at Acapulco (a spunky Meg Ryan type) and 3rd at Park (a sultry Darryl Hannah type).
4) Mainhattan (fkk-mainhattan.de) – This FKK was the newest (having opened in July) and represents a cross between a health club and a night club. It’s high-concept with striking interiors done in black, red, and chrome. It’s also a clean club, with some of the nicest and most spacious lockers. What worked for me was all the girls were totally nude all the time. I just love the feeling of walking around with totally nude women resting on chairs, chatting with me, hanging out by the hot tub – whatever. It creates a sensuous buzz that is not there when they wear bikinis/lingerie, etc. And I met my 4th ATF there, another tall blonde Polish babe (I’m sensing a pattern here) with a super sense of humor. She was playful, attentive, and sexy as all get-out. Overall, quite a pleasant experience and a club I’d like to revisit.
4) Goldentime (goldentime.de/engl) and Living Room (fkk-living.de/eng) – These are sister clubs with a similar look and feel, with Goldentime being the slightly nicer of the two. They both feature a main sitting area with comfortable couches and chairs, a bar, and an outside lounging/dining area. As with most clubs, lunch/dinner is included, with the latter prepared on a grill, and at 11pm, pizza was brought in. The girls sit around in varying degrees of dress – some in bikinis, some in lingerie, and some topless. Unlike Bernds and Mainhatten, none was totally nude for any length of time, unless returning from a session. There can be some hustle, but it’s fairly light, with most of the girls simply sitting, smiling, and waiting for the customer to make the approach. This is a 50/50/25 club (50 Euro entrance, 50 Euro/30-minute session, and 25 Euro for extras), so a relatively good value if you want to do extended sessions, a threesome w/lesbo action (highly recommended), CIM, etc.
5) FKK World (fkk-world.de/en) and Samya (samya.de) – These are night-club style FKKs, with loud music, girls dancing at times on bar tops or platforms, and some degree of hustle. World is by far the more glamorous and commercial-feeling of the two. Situated in a former modern architecture mansion, it features a huge round bar surrounded by round dancing platforms, bar seating, and lounge areas against the walls. Around the room, the décor intentionally shifts from one ambiance to another – from glitzy Hollywood, to Czarist Russia, to Asian, etc. In both clubs, the girls range from okay to some 8’s and 9’s, with a range of attitudes and clothing (with some total nudity at World). I found these clubs to be among my least favorite, as I don’t necessarily go for the nightclub feel with the constant Euro/techno-vibe music, club lighting, and crowds.
6) 5th Element (das5element.de/) – This is a beautiful new club with indoor pool, outdoor thatched cabanas, and restaurant-style meals prepared to order (although it can take a while as the cook moves rather slowly). This club came in last for my ratings because of the lack of girls. There weren’t many men there either, so there might be a chicken or egg issue going on. I counted 7 girls on staff the night we were there, only a couple of which seemed interesting. Overall, the place felt empty, lackluster, and a little weird for us guys to be sitting around in towels with nothing to do.
Our experience at 5th Element gets to the heart of a discussion we had among us guys on the tour about what makes for a great club. It seems the quality and quantity girls comprise at least 80% of the equation. A club like Bernds which lacks in nearly every physical-plant compartment, scores high because the girls are so cool. FKK World on the other hand, spent lavishly on their club, but the girls often felt cold and distant. And 5th Element, of course, had almost no girls. So while nice meals and pleasant surroundings count to a degree, it’s the girls who make the difference. It’s worth noting that girls can, and do, move among the clubs, and even a good club can have an off night. That’s why, as we also discussed, it’s worth visiting a club at least a couple times to get a more accurate impression of the fun to be had there.
-- Modified on 9/7/2010 10:32:18 AM
-- Modified on 9/7/2010 10:41:44 AM
