I was just at Artemis in Berlin last night, for the first time. It is like a wet dream come to life.
Artemis is easy to get to from anywhere in Berlin, via train. The stop you want is 'Westkreuz', which is on the west side of the S-bahn ring (the band of S-bahn routes encircling the center of Berlin). Trains go around and around that ring all day (and night). Once you are at the ring, just pick the train that goes clockwise or counter-clockwise according to your desire. At the Westkreuz station, walk up the stairs and out of the station, through a small parking lot, along a small road towards the highway. Turn left at the highway (there is a sidewalk/path). Cross the bridge over the rail tracks. Just past the bridge and tracks, on your left, you will see a cluster of buildings. The biggest one, lit in blue and red, is Artemis. You can't miss it. It says Artemis in neon on the front.
In the front door is a desk. You pay 80 Euros here, and get a bathrobe and wristband (to say you paid entry), and a wristband with a small key. Nonalcoholic drinks at the bar are free, but if you want alcoholic drinks you need to pay 10 Euros to get a chip, which you give to the bartender from an alcoholic drink. It's a good system -- expensive and annoying enough to keep people from getting drunk. I should also add that I know virtually no German, and had no problem. Everyone in this place speaks multiple languages, especially English, and happily switches around as needed.
The little wristband key has a number to a tiny security locker. This is where you stash your money. The key also opens another large (gym-sized) locker in the dressing room, where you can stash your clothes and everything else. So you will be wandering around naked or in a bathrobe all night, but your stuff is securely locked up.
Make sure you get some slippers. I didn't know about this and was padding around barefoot until a girl showed me where to get slippers.
First thing I did was scope the place out. Straight on from the locker room is a big spiral stairwell and a bar. It has the feel of an upscale strip bar. Downstairs is a little theatre with couch-like things showing porno movies, and a gym (like a hotel fitness room, with workout equipment), and then in another room a very nice little pool and a couple hot tubs & saunas & massage tables, and a food bar where you can get fruit & stuff. Upstairs from the main level are private rooms. A sign says going up is only for guys in the presence of a lady. There are also little rooms near the little movie theatre. Everything is very nice, fairly clean. Like a hotel or something somewhere, except with an erotic theme.
So here's the awesome part -- wandering around everywhere are incredibly good-looking women, basically naked (or with erotic accessories). I was there from about 9-12PM on a Monday night, and there seemed to be an unending supply of women. Almost all were gorgeous. Many were totally model material. I was astounded. Tall statuesque blonds. Dark-haired beauties. From all over Europe. Most in their early 20s, I think.
Everywhere you go in this place, women will stop you and smile and talk. Without exception, they all seemed to speak English. They stand close, they rub, they kiss, they get you aroused. They compete for your business. It was actually sort of difficult to walk around or get a private moment because girls were all over me so much. It honestly was like a sex fantasy come true. Nothing compares to the experience.
OK, so here's briefly what happened to me:
I got there, wandered around, managed to dodge a couple hard-to-resist invitations until I got a beer and sat in a dark corner of the bar to relax and gather my thoughts. I was there about 3 minutes and one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen is happily waving to me from down by the bar, indicating that I should come over. I do. We say hi. She notes my lack of slippers and shows me where to get some. We briefly go back to the bar. She asks if I want to go somewhere more private. I ask if she likes to kiss. I wanted some deep kisses. She says yes, but in a way that I suspected it might cost me extra (it did). We go upstairs to a room. It is a small room with erotic lighting and a round bed and music. I drop the bathrobe and she her shoes and here she drops the (expected bomb) -- that the kisses I want will be 40 extra, for a total of 100 Euros. I was a bit disappointed but figured it would be worth it. It was. The kisses were great. So then for the next half hour we are making out and she is sucking me and then finally sex. The condom came on for that. For the BJ is was off. I was asked if I wanted to cum in her mouth or lick her pussy, and got the feeling that would cost extra. There's no way I am ever going to lick a prostitute's pussy, and cumming in a mouth is no big deal to me, so I passed. This may sound like a lot of un-erotic negotiation, but it was not. It was really hot. Anyway, we finished, talked a few minutes (she was from Romania), and then left. The practice now is that you go to your little locker and get your money and pay her. All the girls carry around little purses with condoms and their money & lube or whatever. This was my first time but I never felt uncomfortable about what to do. They are very customer-service oriented.
So then I got a coke from the bar and was about to check out the saunas or pool when I got nabbed near the movie room by a girl. She was aggressively sexy and pretty much forced me into the movie theatre onto a couch. Keep in mind that I had just had sex 10-15 minutes before so I thought there was no way this was going to happen again (I am in my early 40s). But she starts kissing me (for free!) and stroking and damn if my penis didn't go up again. Then she gets down and starts giving me the most amazing BJ. This girl (Roman, I find out later) is a BJ maniac. Then we go to one of the little rooms near the theatre and she is giving me an incredible energetic BJ. She is sweating from the work. I am not a premature ejaculation kind of guy normally but after having just done it I knew it was not going to finish too soon. THere are mirrors on the wall and I am watching this and it is as good as it gets. Finally, we have sex in several positions and I finish. We are both covered in sweat. Then we go up to my little locker and I pay her 60 Euros.
OK, so now I definitely need a break. It didn't seem like so many women were in the pool/sauna room, so I go in there. THere are showers, so I give myself a good clean, and try the pool (nice), and the sauna (hot!) and rinse off in the shower and relax on a lounge chair. There is music and burbling water and I am quite relaxed. I relaxed there for maybe 20 minutes or so, basically assuming I am done for the evening but wanting to get my 80 euros worth from the environment. Nice.
Then this smiley beautiful long-legged girl comes over and sits down with me and splits a stick of gum and we start to chat. She is so cute and smiley! We are chatting and her fingers are sliding around and there are some little kisses and there is a stirring in my bathrobe. Off to the private room. Great BBBJ, great sex. There is no more sperm left in me. I decide that I had better go because hanging around here is dangerous and even if I do manage to get a boner again, I will never cum. But I am tempted nonetheless. No, it is almost midnight. Time to go.
So I go. I take a good shower, get my stuff, get dressed, and get on the train. On the walk from the train station along Oranienburger Strasse to my hotel I am stopped by a couple of the famous Oranienburger hookers in corsets. They are by all accounts rip-offs, and indeed I tried one and after getting the price jacked up over and over again for extras I never even reached orgasm, because it was so dull and business like. These girls are good-looking and advertise well nonetheless. My point here is that I am on the sidewalk and a gorgeous woman in a sexy corset has her hands on my crotch and is telling me she is the sex police and needs to fuck me BUT all I can think about is Artemis.
If you are a male and in Berlin, you need to try Artemis. (And no, I have no connection with the; I'm just a satisfied first-time (but not last-time) customer)
Jeez, John, sorry you had such a dreadful time.
Actually, I'm suprized you could walk, after all of that.
Great report.
Was the club easy to get to? Near the U/s Bahn? Cab?
Thanks.
Well, it was my first time in an FKK club, ffred. They're all like that for all I know. It was definitely a good time. A dangerously good time. I am worried I could be like a future crack addict after his first puff.
Artemis was very easy to get to. The train was super easy. See my first post at the top of this thread. Taxis I'm sure would work fine too. I saw a taxi picking someone up when I went in, and the ladies at the desk were calling a taxi for a couple Italian guys as I was leaving. You have to shift your mindset a bit as an American and remember that this is legal and regulated here in Germany, not some shady criminal thing like back in the U.S. So you don't have to sneak around or pretend you're going somewhere else. It's no different than if you need a ride to some bar. Albeit maybe a strip bar.
My advice is to skip the taxi and go for trains, though. The trains are so good here in Berlin and Artemis is really close to the Westkreuz train station. A taxi would be 20-25 euros each way from the middle of Berlin. As a non-German speaker, I find it easier to figure out the trains than how to call a cab and tell it where to go. And 40-50 euros is almost as much as another half hour with somebody beautiful.
In any case, it's well worth the trip. If you have a car and a map of Berlin or GPS it would also be easy to drive, I think.
I spend all of my time now trying to find another German assignment - regardless of impacts to billings or career.
Never been to a club in Europe. It sounds like each experience with a girl is a one-pop time. The price seems very reasonable, especially for the quality of ladies you describe.
Do they have a web site?
I did some research to find out where would be a good place to stay and I came up with three possibilities.
1) Hotel und Rasthof AVUS, Berlin
Halenseestraße 51, Berlin, 14055
2) Hotel Messe
Wundtstrasse 72, Charlottenburg,
14057 Berlin
3) Hostel Die Etage
Katharinenstraße 14
10711 Berlin, Germany
I found all this out by typing fkk artemis on the google map feature. If any of the more experienced international travelers could make any suggestions on these or any other nearby accommodations, please post it here on this discussion board so that anyone else who is interested in going will know what to do. Any additional travel information will also be very much appreciated.
I was there in July and John is accurate in his description of the club and "events." Being from the states, it is hard to imagine such a place existing.
One thing to note though is not to be turned away by the pictures of the girls on their website. For some reason it is not an accurate depiction of the girls you will meet there. They are gorgeous.
I,too, will be a frequent visitor to Artemis. If there were ever a heaven on earth for the hobbyist, Artemis is it.
Nice write up Artemis! These places are unreal and yes this is one of the best in Berlin.
I was just on vacation in Berlin and decided to pay Artimis a visit,
I can only second the trip report, it was phenomenal and if I were to live in Berlin, I'd be completely addicted.
Happiest place on earth...I have never seen so many so beautyful and willing women in one place, I am still a awe about this place