Hi All:

I'm headed to Cologne end of the month and expect to have one free evening. Would love to spend 90 or 120 minutes with a beautiful women who knows how to please. Just might see two girls for an hour each.  Would prefer not to do incall. Don't speak German. I'd be happy to spend $600ish if that's what it takes, though I get the sense it may be less expensive. Definitely not looking for an all-evening, psuedo-club type experience.  

My understanding is that there are a couple of FKKs in Cologne, with Samya being one of the biggest. And also brothels, with Pacha claiming to be the biggest in Europe. I saw a few positive references in forums to Traum-Paradies but no real reviews.  

Would no German be an issue? Can I just take a taxi/Uber to any of these?

Anyone been to any of these?  

Any suggestions much appreciated!

Samya is probably your best option. It is in Rodenkirchen (a part of south Cologne). Many young girls, quite some pretty ones. Service is a bit hit or miss. Entry is 50 euros including decent foood and also free beer. You can catch a cab easily, or even take tram (line 16 and 17 to Rodenkirchen Michaelshofen).

Two things to consider:

This is an evening club. During the day there is very little going on, but around 6/7pm it starts to fill up with girls. The club only gets lively around 10pm, when the DJ plays his tunes.
Second point: this is a party club with many girls dancing and the like. Not a place to spend a relaxing day.

Awesome advice, thanks for taking the time to put this up.