Bert had been married for years, and was starting to have
some problems getting it up. One of his friends told him
that he should surprise his wife one of these nights, and
things would change.
His friend told him to sneak in, really late one night, and
crawl quietly into bed beside his wife without waking her up. Then he is to slowly reach down into her panties and
play around a bit, then wipe it on his face. That would turn him on, and once he woke her up, she couldn't resist
this hardon.
So he waits a few days, sneaks in, and crawls into bed beside his wife. He sticks his hand down her panties, and
plays around a bit, then wipes it all over his face. Sure enough, he was getting horny, so he repeated this a few times. Shortly he had a hard on a squirrel couldn't climb.
He was very happy, and turned on the light, and woke up his wife...... "Honey, do you notice anything different about me???"
She took one look at him, and said "Yeah, have you been fighting again??? There is fresh blood all over your face."