Tech Support Request

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.  No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.  In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.  Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system.  I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does not work on this program.  Can you help me?

- Jonathan Powell


Dear Jonathan Powell-

This is a very common problem men complain about but is
mostly due to a primary misconception.  Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.  Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

WARNING DO NOT TRY TO: uninstall, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed.  Trying to uninstall Wife 1.0 can be disastrous.  Doing so may destroy your hard
and/or floppy drive.  Trying to uninstall or remove Wife 1.0
will destroy valuable system resources. You cannot go back
to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end
up with more problems than the original system. Look in
your manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. Others
have tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 in the background, while
Wife 1.0 is running.  Eventually Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend
1.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non-
recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults
(GPFs).  You must assume all responsibility for faults and
problems that might occur.  The best course of action will
be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as
lockup occurs.  System will run smooth as long as you take
the blame for all GPFs.  Wife 1.0 is a great program but is
very high maintenance.

Thanks,
---------------------------------
I. M. Trapped  II
Systems Provisioning
GTE Telephone Operations