Why Necrophilia:

1.  Dead girls never say no.  Dead guys are very
   stiff.
2.  When you get the urge to pop open a cold
   one....
   or throw down a stiff one....
   or just a slam-bam-bam-bam thank you ma'am...
3.  You put 'em in the closet, they stay in the
   closet.
4.  They can go all night long without
   complaining.
5.  They never looked better due to the
   undertaker.
6.  They aren't big on dining out, but are great
   for sandwiches.
7.  They tolerate masochism very well.
8.  They let you drink all the beer and still
   will play with you drunk.
9.  You don't have to take them all the way home.
10.  NO BITCHING!  NO CANDY!  NO FLOWERS!
11.  When you are tired of them, you don't have
    to explain.
12.  NO KIDS!  NO PERIODS!  NO PMS!  NO WHINING!
    NO MESSES!
13.  No limits on sex, no rules.  They do it all.
14.  Easy to dig up a new one practically
    overnight.
15.  They can make neat lamp shades, coin purses,
    shrunken heads, etc.
16.  They have no baggage, but they could become.
17.  You can bend them over, shove flowers up
    their ass and they will be there
    waiting for you with a deadpan smile when
    you get home.
18.  They aren't going to screw your neighbor or
    your best friend.  They are trustworthy.
19.  They are sure to hang around as long as you
    can stand them.
20.  They are great with animals.  Wild animals
    especially, really love them to pieces.
21.  They absolutely got no guts, no initiative,
    no backtalk, no late phone calls.