A while back, when I was considerably younger, I picked up a date at her parents’ home.  I’d scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant.  

She ordered the most expensive items on the menu.  Shrimp cocktail.  Lobster.  Champagne.  

I asked her, “Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home..??”  

“No,” she replied, “but my mother’s not expecting a blow job tonight.”

I said "Enjoy"....