1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
    Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous
    zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and
    trying to get your money's worth by cutting out
    nonessentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of
    foreplay.

    2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
    Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well,
    there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if
    you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th
    birthday cake. That hurts.

    3) NOT SHAVING.
    You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your
    chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face
    and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not
    passion, it's avoidance.

    4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
    Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness
    when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and
    smooth them.

    5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
    Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp
    down like they're trying to deflate her body via her
    breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to
    chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across
    them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't.

    6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
    Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples
    between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio
    station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the
    exclamation points.

    7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
    A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs:
    Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There
    are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as
    you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying
    them some attention.

    8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
    Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result
    in tangled fingers and underpants.
    If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the
    damn things off.

    9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
    Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it,
    you store it.

    10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
    Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your
    fingers along side of the clitoris.

    11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
    Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If
    you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can
    tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

    12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
    Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when
    naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head.
    Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

    13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
    Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy.
    Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back
    and forth is not.

    14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
    Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they
    still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is
    your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes
    up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it
    can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more
    attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then
    gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

    15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
    You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage
    to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows
    and knees are not.

    16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
    Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least
    made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's
    just undoing a couple of buttons.

    17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
    A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the
    socks fist.

    18) GOING TOO FAST.
    When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst
    thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool
    She'll soon feel lie an assembly-line worker made obsolete by
    your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular
    thrusts.

    19) GOING TOO HARD.
    If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh
    or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding
    concentrated into a few seconds.

    20) COMING TOO SOON.
    Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see
    the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to
    ensure her pleasure too.