Vern works hard at the phone company, bowls two nights a week and golfs every Saturday, leaving little time for him and his wife. For his birthday, his wife decides to surprise him and take him to the local strip club for a little fun.

As they walk up to the club, the doorman smiles and says 'Hey Vern, how ya doin'?

His wife, puzzled, asks if he's ben here before. "oh no," says Vern, "he's in my bowling league."

When they are seated,  a waitress asks Vern if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

Suspicious, his wife asks "How did she know you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her.", says Vern, "She's a waitress at the golf club, I always have a Bud after the first 9, Honey!"

Not quite believing him, his wife stays quiet until a stripper jumps into Vern's lap and says "Hi Vern, you want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Furious, his wife grabs her purse and storms out of the club. As Vern runs out after her, he spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in with her, desperately trying to explain how she must of mistaken him for someone else, but she's not buying it.

She slaps him and is screaming at the top of her lungs calling him every 4 letter word in the book when the cabbie turns around and says, "Geez, you picked up a real bitch this time, Vern!"

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS FRIDAY AT 11 AM.