ttle Old Lady In Court...

 Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?  
 Old Lady: I am 94 years old.  
 Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?  
 Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.  
 Defense Attorney: Did you know him?  
 Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.  
 Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?  
 Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.  
 Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?  
 Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.  
 Defense Attorney: Why not?  
 Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.  
 Defense Attorney: What happened next?  
 Old Lady: He began to rub all over of my body.  
 Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?  
 Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.  
 Defense Attorney: Why not?  
 Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!  
 Defense Attorney: What happened next?  
 Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! '  
 Defense Attorney: Did he take you?  
 Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"  
 And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.