A dedicated Teamsters' union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."

A bum is hitch-hiking along the freeway when he finds a bright red cap in the ditch that had apparently blown off some truck driver's head.  It had a fancy sewn red and black AFL-CIO label on the front and a string of union pins all over the visor.  Just what the guy needed to keep the hot sun off his eyes in the mid-day heat.

The very next over-the-road that comes along spies the bright cap and scretches to a hault, the passenger door flies open, and a voice says, "Come on buddy, hop aboard!"  They move down the highway a bit when the driver asks the hitch-hiker, "You give blow jobs or hand jobs for gas money?"  The guy says, "No."

They travel a little further in silence, then the driver asks, "Will you bend over for me in the sleeper to cover the ride?"  The guy says, "Look, friend, you got me all wrong.  I ain't no union guy, I just FOUND the damned cap!"