Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old



Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me



Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly



Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh



Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him



Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good.  Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago



Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts



Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him



Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.  I haven't felt that good in years!



Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him......"Take me....  young man Take me!"



Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no.  He just yelled, "April Fool!!

And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!