A recently ordained Irish priest was delivering his first sermon to his new parish. "As I drove into your town last week, I witnessed three abominations: first, I saw a man in a field committing an unnatural act with a sheep. I drove on farther and saw another man committing the same vile act with another sheep. And then, at the edge of town, I saw a man committing an abomination with himself." A voice spoke up from the back of the congregation. "Aye, that'll be old Paddy Fitzpatrick. He never could catch a sheep!"