There once was a middle aged couple, and their sex life had gone to shit. He was never satisfied with what she would do cause he loved a good blow job and she hated to give them.... but they still loved each other and hoped they would find a way to make things work better...

On their anniversary, she was frustratedly trying to find something for him, but is pretty cheap.

She walks into a little gift shop in town she'd never been in before, but had passed by a million times. First thing she noticed how expensive everything was. Very unique place, and lots of totally interesting antiques and bizarre items never seen before, like some really weird things that looked like sex toys.

She is getting impatient and about to leave, but asks the shopkeeper if there is anything in the store for less than a hundred dollars. The man says there is only one item there but he probably wouldnt like it. Of course the she asks what it is, and how much. The man says "50 dollars", "it's like magic".... This confuses and frustrates her even more....

She demands the man show him what it is. The little man goes into the back, brings out a beautiful ornate box with a big red bow on it. She asks "what is it?" The little shopkeep opens the box, and inside, sits a huge bullfrog, just blinking it's great big eyes.

The wife exclaims "what the hell do i want to pay 50 bucks for a stupid frog for my husband ?!"
The little man says "it's not just any frog, it's a magic frog, and it does very special sex things" "he leans over to her and whispers "it gives special blowjobs"  

She is shocked and says awwwwww bulllhockey that's a load of crap and such.... but it starts her mind thinking....hhmmm....

The little man says "if you don't believe it, you can always return it the next day, and full refund no questions asked....but it's really true" "You really should buy this cause you'll never regret it, and never want to return it..."  

She is about to tell him he is full of shit, but then has the thought - "well if it's true, then i'll never have to do the horrid task to my husband again, and if it's not, well then i'll get my money back....

So she says ok, and forks over the 50 bucks and takes the frog home in it's pretty box.

Later that night, when he gets home from work, he tells her "Honey, i got a surprise for you, and it's upstairs in the bedroom".... He seems pleased that he has been so thoughtful...

After dinner he goes upstairs, and she never hears anything for about an hour, and then he comes back down, they watch some TV, but he never mentions the gift at all... She thinks that is kinda strange but also says nothing....

Before they go to bed that night, she notices that somehow he managed to get the box back downstairs and sitting on the trashcan in the kitchen.....

About 3AM in the morning, the wife is awakened by a huge racket downstairs and bolts upright, then notices her husband is not in bed with her.... Sounds like pots and pans clattering and banging around....

She goes downstairs, and there's her husband, pots and pans everyplace, knives, cookbooks, and food everywhere, and the bullfrog sitting on the counter...... She yells at him "what the hell is all this racket, and all these pots and pans, and why is that stupid frog sitting down here with you in all of this mess?!!"

He looks up at her, and simply says "Bitch, if i can teach that frog to cook by morning, you're the hell outta here !"



-- Modified on 1/9/2012 10:01:26 PM