Mildred, 93, was despondent over the
recent death of her husband Earl, so
she decided to just kill herself and join
him in death.

Thinking it would be best to get it over
with quickly, she took out Earl's
old Army pistol and made the decision to
shoot herself in the heart since it
was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and
become a vegetable and a burden to
someone, she called her doctor's office
to learn her heart's exact location.
Since you're a woman, the doctor said,
your heart is just below your left breast.

Why do you ask? She hung up
without answering

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to
the hospital with a gunshot wound
to her knee.