It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then, a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
Sir, Are you addressing this disabled writer, or are you referring to that terrible white French joke where the Mayo should have said, "Close the door! It's warm in here!" If freakin' raisins and M&M's can sing and dance, Mayo can certainly make a smart assed comment if it wants to. Gees!
Is there a sound in the forest when a tree crashes to the ground and no one is there to hear it?
No. This is why it is so dangerous to go walking in the forest at night, because that is when the elephants are jumping out of their tree nests and you can't hear them falling. Trust me on this one. Snat funny.
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