Stress, Part One:

Stress is internal conflict which arises when the mind overrides the body's basic instinct to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desparately needs it!

Stress, Part Two:

Here is a stress management technique which is highly recommended in all the latest psychological journals:

1. Visualize yourself near a stream
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are totally buffered from the hectic place called "the real world"
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is cryatal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding under the water!