>   -----Forwarded Message-----
>               The 1st Affair
>
>   A married man was having an affair with his
>   secretary.  One day they went to her place
>   and made love all afternoon.
>   Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at
>   8 PM.  The man hurriedly dressed and told
>   his lover to take his shoes outside and rub
>   them in the grass and dirt.  He put on his
>   shoes and drove home.
>
>   "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
>   "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an
>   affair with my secretary. We had sex all
>   afternoon."
>      She looked down at his shoes and said:
>   "You lying bastard!  You've been playing golf!"
>      -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
>                          The 2nd Affair
>    A middle-aged couple had two beautiful
>   daughters but always talked about having a son.
>   They decided to try one last time for the son
>   they always wanted.  The wife got pregnant
>   and delivered a healthy baby boy.
>   The joyful father rushed to the nursery to
>   see his new son. He was horrified at the
>   ugliest child he had ever seen.
>   He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the
>   father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful
>   daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling
>   around  behind my back?"
>   The wife smiled sweetly and replied:   "Not this time!"
>          -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+                         The 3rd
>Affair
>   A mortician was working late one night.
>   He examined the body of  Mr.Schwartz, about
>   to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
>   Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
>   "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented,
>   "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive
>   private part.  It must be saved for posterity."  So, he
>   removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase,
>   and took it home.
>   "I have something to show you won't believe,"
>   he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
>   "My God!" the wife exclaimed, Schwartz is dead!"
>
>      -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
>                             The 4th Affair
>   A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard
>   her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she
>   said, "stand in the corner."  She rubbed baby oil all
>   over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
>       "Don't move until I tell you," she said," pretend you're a
>   statue."
>   "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
>   "Oh it's a statue," she replied," the Smiths bought one and I
>   liked it so I got one for us too.  No more was said,
>   not even when they went to bed.  Around 2 AM the
>   husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned
>   with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the
>   statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the
>   Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."
>
>         -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
>                         The 5th Affair
>   A man walked into a cafe,  went to the bar and ordered
>   a beer.
>   "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
>   "One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the
>   menu and  asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak
>   and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied.
>   A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this
>   place?"
>
>   The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife."  The man
>   asked:  "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
>   The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his
>   business down here."
>      -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
>                                      The 6th Affair
>
>       Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
>   He looked up and said weakly:
>   "I have something I must confess."
>   "There's no need to," his wife replied.
>   "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace.  I slept  with your
>   sister, your best friend, her best friend,  and your mother!"
>   "I know," she replied calmly, "now just rest and let the poison work."