She lives right across the street.  I can see her house from my living room.

I watched as she got home from work this evening.  I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.

She knocked on my door...

I rushed to open it.

She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, and I am so horny..!!  I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long..!!  Are you busy tonight..??"

I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all..!!"

Then she said, "Good..!!  In that case, could you watch my dog..??"

It’s no fun being old.