Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'.

A few years later the same two men were talking.  The first one noted that his wife seemed to have lost interest in sex.  The second one said that his wife had done that, too, and that mixing things up seemed to help.  He especially noted that his wife enjoyed doing it "doggy style".  The first man said his wife was so conservative she'd never do that but the second one commented that his wife, too, was like that but getting a few drinks in her helped.  A few weeks later they met again and the second one asked the first one if he'd taken his advice.  Yes, he said, but I had to give her three martinis before she'd go out on the front lawn and another one before she'd bark.